Midwest Moms

Busy Busy Busy

2010-08-09T18:57:00.001-07:00

What an August it has been -- full of new beginnings for all of us. As a few of my bloggy friends know, I've started teaching preschool and have a roomful of three-year-olds to call my own.

I have to admit, I love it so far. It feels like work I was meant to be doing.

As for my own three... back to school has been and always will be complicated. They're happy to see old friends, but not thrilled about homework. They're anxious about who will be in their class or what their teachers will be like. They're excited for new supplies and clothes and hope everyone notices how much taller they are now that a summer has gone by.

They haven't been disappointed.

Now, we're getting ready to enter into the busy season for after school activities. Soccer starts in a week or two. Dance class for my youngest will begin again. And my second grader will begin preparing for his First Communion.

These are busy times for our little clan. I hope the time doesn't slip by too quickly.

- Midwest Mom

Working out in Style: Ryka Revive running shoes

2010-07-19T02:48:00.000-07:00

Not long ago, Amy Hatch of Chambanamoms.com contacted me to ask whether I would be willing to do a few reviews for a sponsor, PlanetShoes.com. The deal was this: they would choose the shoes and I would put them through their paces and write about it. Here’s the latest review in the series, for moms who run or just run around town.

A few weeks ago, my Rika Revive running shoes came in the mail from Planet Shoes. They were hot pink, so naturally I had to try them on right away. Sure, I was only planning to work in the garden with my daughter, not run a marathon. But, hey! New shoes beg to be worn, right?

As we transplanted the first seedling, my daughter asked to water. Before I knew it, she poured an entire bucket of water on my left foot instead of our tomato plants. I looked down and thought what an idiot I was for wearing brand new shoes into my garden! Without much hope, I laid the shoes on my front porch to dry and went in to have supper with my family.

By breakfast the next morning, I was dressed and ready to head out to the YMCA for my workout. My husband had brought the Rykas indoors. I eyed them disappointedly, knowing I couldn’t wear them. But as I reached for the shoes, I realized that they were both completely dry. I couldn’t even tell which shoe had gotten soaked. I wore them to my workout after all.

It was then that I first experienced the wonder of a mesh workout shoe. If the Ryka could take a 2-gallon bucket of water without batting an eye, my lil-ole-workout would be no problem. And you know what? It wasn’t.

Even a light workout in the summer can make me feel hot and uncomfortable, but having cool, dry feet made a huge difference. My feet felt great after working out. I loved the combination of outer sole support (rather than a lot of structure in the arch) and roominess, so my foot has enough space to move comfortably when I run.

Better yet, the Ryka Revive runners are good looking shoes, so I wear them to ball games, shopping, or around the house. They are a great medium activity shoe with a reasonable price – just under $50 -- and that’s why I would recommend them for most Moms. So whether you use them to work up a sweat or just for running around town, the Ryka Revive is worth a try.

Disclosure: I received the Clark’s Wave walking shoe for free from chambanamoms.com sponsor PlanetShoes.com, as part of a special promotion

From the Mouths of Babes

2010-07-08T06:40:00.001-07:00

Kids can be so brutally honest. Usually, around our place, their honesty leads to pointed comments about Mom's appearance.

Like, "Oh, Mommy. Does that boo-boo on your face hurt?" [Translation: Mom, you have a zit.]

or "Wow, Mommy. You're turning blonde like me!" [Translation: Mom, you're going gray.]

Sometimes, Dad's the victim and the comment is phrased in the form of a question. Such as, while brushing teeth...

"Dad, how can a person's teeth get so yellow?"

But, every once in a while, the honesty dice get rolled in our favor... Sort of.

Such was the case yesterday during lunch, when I was trying to have a conversation with my husband. My daughter had a tiny play cup at the table and wanted milk poured into it instead of in her regular glass...

She said with increasing volume, "Mom-ME! IwantheOTHERglaass! IwanmymilkinthePRETTYone! Mom! Mom! Momm-ME!"

I made a weak comment that I was talking to Dad, and she needed to just drink what she was given. But as the whining libretto continued, I just wanted peace. With an exasperated sigh, I reached over and poured some of the milk from her regular cup into the play cup.

"Thank you, Mommy."

All my mind registered was that our world was now peaceful and we could finish our conversation. Two minutes later, it was done.

Silence.

Then a tiny voice.

"You know what mom?"

"What, honey."

"I stop whining when you give me what I want."

Not-so-veiled threat from Ms. Four-year-old.

I looked over at my smirking husband, who raised his eyebrows, and realized I'd just been perfectly manipulated by my child.

Well... at least she had the decency to let me know.

- Midwest Mom

The Art of Spoilsport Parenting

2010-07-06T04:59:00.000-07:00

We've had a summer of plenty here on the homestead -- abundant rain, abundant sunshine on the garden (abundant weeds...), good friends and food, swimming and camping. It has been a golden summer for my kids.

I feel grateful and blessed... but also a little bit worried.

I worry because I know that every summer won't be like this. Or maybe I let my mind get into fast-forward to a time when the kids will have summer jobs and dates and lives full of adult responsibility. Or, maybe I find it hard to parent about balance when we're having fun all the time.

Maybe I'm just a spoilsport parent. Debbie Downer. Whatever.

That must be why I purposely plan dinner without dessert and have to explain my reasons to my sons. Last night I found myself saying, "Sure we could have dessert... but it's healthier to set aside a couple of nights a week as dessert nights, so it's something special."

My nine-year-old and seven-year-old scoffed. They have monster metabolisms right now and scarf down food left and right to keep their engines running. "When I'm the parent, we're going to have dessert every day," they said.

Maybe so.

Maybe my ~~spoilsport~~ balance-parenting is the reason why now, in the height of summer, I chose to read the kids Laura Ingalls Wilder's The Long Winter -- a story of Laura's family's struggle to survive seven months of blizzard on the plains of South Dakota. I even invoked the book during last night's dessert discussion.

The reality is this:

There's a part of this Mom that wants to enjoy the present so much, and that's why I work to make summer a fun time for my children. But there is also a part that wants to teach them to appreciate their blessings and be grateful for what they have. It's hard to teach that second part when we're eating cupcakes and going to the swimming pool every day.

So, I'm teaching balance by holding back a little. We have chore days and camp instead of going to Disney. We place limits on screen time and play board games or go for bike rides instead. We occasionally go without dessert. (God forbid!)

Does that make me a spoilsport parent? Maybe. But maybe sometime soon, my kids will look back on this summer and not remember the holding-back. I hope they'll remember the good times we've had and be thankful.

That's what spoilsport parenting is all about, right? ... throwing a wrench in the works and expecting the kids to be grateful for it, or at least understand...

Then again, maybe I just need to relax a little and make a pan of brownies today.

I'll flip a coin. Heads - my house smells like chocolate for the afternoon, Tails - we go without.

(Now, where did I put that two-headed coin?)

- Midwest Mom

Summer at Sleeping Bear

2010-07-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

If you’re looking for a great family Midwest vacation spot , then you have to discover Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. Sleeping Bear Dunes is a complex of camping, hiking, and historical sites in and around Empire and Glen Arbor, Michigan. If you are raising a crew of budding outdoorsmen, like I am, then this is the place for you.

Where to Stay

We camped our hearts out at the Platte River Campground, and couldn’t have been happier – despite a few instances of unpredictable weather. Our walk-in tenting site was wooded and quiet, but had easy access to bathrooms and showers and was less than a mile hike away from the sugar sand beach of Lake Michigan. The campground is run by the national park service and has sites for tents, campers, or groups. Rangers were on hand at the campground were happy to answer questions and our fellow campers, including several families with small children, were friendly and fun. Every night, there was ranger-led educational program at 8:00 p.m. about area wildlife, history, or the night sky over the Lake. Many campsites at the Platte River Campground are reservable online, but there are also sites saved for walk-in campers. And I don’t mind telling you, at $15 per day, our stay at Platte River Campground was well within our budget.

For a more rustic camping experience, the D. H. Day campground near Glen Arbor is another way to enjoy the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. Sites there are walk-in only, and offer vault toilets and easy access to the beach.

In nearby Frankfort/Elberta to the South and Glen Arbor to the North, there are a variety of Bed and Breakfasts, rental cottages, and small inns to suit your family. We have sent my husband’s parents for a weekend at La Rue House in Elberta, and they loved it. Next time, though, we’ll probably try the Thyme Inn in Glen Arbor. It’s a gardener’s dream adjacent to Glen Arbor shops and farmer’s market.

Swimming & Boating

We are a family of swimmers, and we swam our hearts out every day on our Sleeping Bear vacation. The dunes are made of soft sugar-sand, and the National Park campgrounds offer stretches of undeveloped beach for miles along the lakeshore. Often, we were one of only two or three families swimming in the calm, clear waters, shallow enough for me to give my 9 and 7 year-old complete freedom while my 4 year-old built sand castles to her heart’s content.

Sleeping Bear Dunes lies at the heart of Michigan’s Lakes region, where retreating glaciers have left a complex of gorgeous clear water lakes. Every lake community has a public beach, so there is plenty to go around. We also enjoyed Platte River Point Park, where the Platte River empties into Lake Michigan. It was fun watch people tubing, kayaking and canoeing while we let the river current carry us out to a sandbar that separates the warmer river water from the cooler water of the lake.

Our last night of the trip, we watched the sun set from Empire Park in Empire, MI. The kids went crazy on the beach playground while my husband and I grilled out. There were several families with open fires on the beach as we watched the beautiful sunset over the Lake in the West – a perfect ending for a perfect vacation.

Hiking and Biking

Our trip had a few drizzly days, but it was never difficult to find something to do. We loved the quiet of the Empire Bluffs Trail and took in the vistas on the Pierce Stocking Scenic Drive, which included a view of the lake from 450 ft atop the Sleeping Bear ridge dune. Adventurous climbers can visit the Dune Climb. But families with younger children might be happier hiking Sleeping Bear Point to the north.

Because of the fragile nature of the dunes themselves, vehicles are not allowed on the dunes. But we saw many road bikers along the Betsie Valley Trail and M-22. The rolling landscape -- a blend of forest, lakes, and fields -- would be a dream... and a challenge.

Plenty to Learn

Sleeping Bear Dunes was a rock-hunter’s paradise. My children found treasure upon treasure on the beach, including fossils, rose quartz, and petosky stones. Park Rangers are a ready source of information on the rocks of the area to help you identify the nature of your find.

We had the good fortune to visit the U.S. Coast Guard Outdoor Maritime Museum, just as they were beginning a Breech Bouy rescue presentation. Ranger Rebekah invited children in the audience to participate in the rescue. My oldest got to aim and fire a cannon, my youngest was the bullet that carried a rescue rope to Captain Bob, and my 7 year-old got to join a crew of surfmen hauling out and in the rope that carried the buoy. They had a great time, learned a lot, and received certificates at the end of the program. (Ranger Rebekah also earned herself a hug from my bullet-daughter.)

Wildlife enthusiasts, like our crew, will be amazed to see black squirrels and nesting Piping Plovers. Thirteen-lined ground squirrels were a treat to see with their babies as well as bugs, butterflies and birds we don’t have at home in Central Illinois.

Good Eats

Northwestern Michigan is known for its fresh fruit, and where better to get it than the Glen Arbor Farmer’s Market? We enjoyed a couple of quarts of fresh strawberries during our visit in late June. July is the month for cherries, though, and August is peach month. You don’t get better than fresh from the orchard, so if you’re visiting, be sure to taste and enjoy!

On our Tuesday visit to the Glen Arbor Farmer’s Market, we stopped at Cherry Republic to share a Double Monster Sundae (Yes, we’re decadent parents… but hey! This is vacation, right?) We got 6 scoops of ice cream, 2 toppings, and three cookies called “Boomers”. Literally, they were each as big as my daughter’s face. What a lunch. Too bad we had no room for pie or cherry wine. With its gorgeous garden and comfy layout, Cherry Republic is a place that’s definitely worth a family visit.

We also felt right at home at the Hungry Tummy in Beulah, where the popcorn was fresh, our waitress was super-friendly, and they had Pabst on Tap for the hubs. It may be that hiking makes a body hungry, but my kids thought the macaroni and cheese and grilled cheese with bacon were divine. If we go back, it’ll be for the pizza. :D

So much to Enjoy...

There was so much to do on our trip, we didn’t nearly get to all of it. We loved golfing at Crystal Falls golf in Benzonia and playing at the playgrounds at Empire Beach and Glen Arbor Township Park. Downtown Glen Arbor was filled with the work of local artists and artisans that any shopper worth her salt will love.

We had such fun, it was hard to find a low point to our trip. If there was one, it was the day we had to pack up and come back home. As we drove south and left the cooling lakeshore breezes, we made ourselves feel better by re-living our adventures and planning when we would return. We’ve found a gem in Sleeping Bear Dunes, that’s for sure. It’s a place our family will go back to again and again.

- Midwest Mom

Walk The Walk: Clark’s Wave Cruise Walking Shoe

2010-06-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

Not long ago my great bloggy friend, Amy Hatch of Chambanamoms.com contacted me to ask whether I would be willing to do a few reviews for a sponsor, PlanetShoes.com. The deal was this: they would choose the shoes and I would put them through their paces and write about it. Here’s the latest review in the series, and it’s a keeper.

About a month ago, my second little box from Planet Shoes arrived in the mail. To my surprise, it contained another pair of MaryJanes -- Clark’s Wave Cruise walking shoes. From the first, I loved these shoes.

The Clark’s Wave Cruise really is just my style. They have a great look. When I slipped them on they felt soft and bouncy. I noticed that their soles are slightly curved, just like your foot would be in mid-step, so the leather upper doesn’t get that crease after you’ve walked in them for a while. It's like they're made to move, not just sit on a shelf somewhere. The construction is mesh and leather, so I can wear them without socks even on hot summer days.

And trust me, I’ve walked miles in mine since I got them.

In fact, I like this shoe so much it became my go-to shoe for work. The first week I wore them to school, my fellow teachers remarked on how nice they looked and my students loved the cool pewter color (which, I have to say, was an easy match for *everything* in my wardrobe.) Even after a month of wear, these shoes look and feel terrific. They have retained that “new shoe bounce” that keeps my legs and feet energized, even on days when I feel like I’ve been running my legs off.

Without reservation, I highly recommend these shoes. They are super-comfortable and look terrific. If there is one down-side, it’s that they are a bit on the pricey side. But, for me, their style, comfort, and durability make them a ‘best buy’ for Moms.

Disclosure: I received the Clark’s Wave walking shoe for free from chambanamoms.com sponsor PlanetShoes.com, as part of a special promotion.

May in the Garden

2010-05-27T06:55:00.000-07:00

This year has been quirky in our Midwest garden, that's for sure.

We planted early -- spinach, radishes, and sugar snap peas. But the weather got so warm so fast that our early crops bolted. Our spinach harvest was about half it's usual bounty and our radishes had leafy tops but woody roots. The peas are long and leggy -- already as tall as I am. The hubs has trellised them twice already, and they are still growing!

On the upside, the peas are now in bloom and the bees are hard at work and plentiful. Our strawberries are going gangbusters and our roses are more gorgeous than they've ever been.

Yesterday, I took a little time in the garden to pull out the last of the non-performing crops to get ready for peppers, tomatoes, and eggplant. Hopefully, summer in the garden will be more productive than Spring has been.

In the meantime, we're spending plenty of time enjoying our flowers.

This rose is 'Paradise' -- it makes me wish Midwest Moms had smell-o-vision. The fragrance is amazing!

On our arbor is a blend of 'Don Juan' and 'Joseph's Coat'. Both are taller than me now, with very little winter die-back this year. I think it won't be long until the arbor is completely covered.

A new addition to the wildflower garden this year is Lupine. It's flower stalks are striking. (I think it's my new favorite.)

And I found this little flower out in the garden, too! She sure is beautiful... but growing like a weed!

So tell me... how does your garden grow this year?

- Midwest Mom

Last Chance for MaryJanes: The Simplista by Earth Shoes

2010-05-25T04:51:00.000-07:00

Not long ago my great bloggy friend, Amy Hatch of chambanamoms.com contacted me to ask whether I would be willing to do a few reviews for a sponsor, PlanetShoes.com. The deal was this: they would choose the shoes and I would put them through their paces and write about it. I agreed – as long as they weren’t Lady Gaga glow-in-the-dark platforms ...

The first shoe I received for review was a tasteful MaryJane, the Earth Shoes Simplista.

My first impression was positive. Everything that came from EarthShoes was designed to be re-usable with minimal packaging. The shoes came in little hemp bags with tags explaining the company’s use of environmentally-conscious alternative materials – from 70% recycled soles to water-based adhesive to reduce harmful chemical runoff. I thought, “Wow. A shoe company making an effort…” I was intrigued.

When I looked at the shoe itself, the styling was surprising. Earth Shoes’ design – with the heel slightly lower than the toe – engages more muscles in your leg as you walk, thereby burning more calories through everyday wear. At first, it was difficult to get used to the appearance of a higher toe than heel. Simplistas do have a chunky look, but when I tried them on the raised toe was less noticeable. The leather was soft and I liked the adjustable hook-and-loop closure on the strap. Better yet, the Simplistas were surprisingly supportive – especially in the arch. And unlike most of the shoes I own, they didn’t pinch my toes.

I decided to give them the preschool teacher workout. After singing and dancing my way through the morning, I found that my feet and legs felt great. Three hours after we returned home that first day, my daughter pointed out that I still had my pretty shoes on. I hadn’t even noticed. They are that comfortable. In the past month, these shoes have gotten their fair share of wear and are holding up great.

As for the calorie-burning claim, I won’t say ‘the pounds melt away like magic’ when I wear my EarthShoes Simplistas. But they do make my feet and legs feel great and would be a cute, fun addition to any Mom’s wardrobe.

Disclosure: I received the EarthShoes Simplista MaryJanes for free from chambanamoms.com sponsor PlanetShoes.com, as part of a special promotion.

Life and Death: The New Pet Saga

2010-03-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

It has been a month of high drama in our corner of the prairie this past month. We've gone from the highest highs to the lowest lows... sometimes in a span of only 10 hours.

I'll begin at the beginning. With me. As the new year began, I had some sort of mental break wherein I convinced myself that this was the year to voluntarily bring another living being into our household. Not a baby. A part of the animal kingdom.

For the first month of the year the thought of a pet hovered there in the cloudy regions of my grey matter. Then it happened. The News-Gazette ran a picture of puppies needing adoption at the local humane society.

That's all it took.

I visited. And although all the puppies had been adopted, I found a beautiful little Corgi-Jack Russell mix at the Vermilion County Animal Shelter. She was mild and quiet. I talked to my husband, and we decided to bring her home. I went to the pet store to get a carrier and leash. And when I returned to pick up my little bundle, I was told she had been adopted only 10 minutes before.

I was crushed.

Tears falling (it was so embarrassing), I returned to the pet store to give back the items I'd bought. In the meantime, my husband got us dinner reservations and movie tickets for a surprise evening out as a family. It was a good distraction; I hadn't counted on feeling so sad at not bringing home our dog.

After a few days, I felt myself again. But the pet-talk continued with my husband, and we decided to discuss it with the kids. When we asked them whether they would like a puppy or a kitten, their answer shocked us.

Neither. They wanted fish.

So, for the past two weeks, we've been setting up our tank. We let the kids make the choices on gravel and plants and a tank background. They did the setup. We waited a few days and bought fish -- 2 glowfish and 4 guppies.

We carefully brought them home and transferred them to the tank. There were smiles aplenty. It was high times in the Kelly home.

Until morning, that is, when we found all 6 fish belly-up.

Then, there was wailing and gnashing of teeth. My first-grader, especially, was hard-hit by the loss of the fish. (In fact, he tearfully explained to his teachers that it was my husband's fault for not turning on the airstone.)

So, we started from scratch, washing everything carefully and re-conditioning our tank with the help of a book rather than the thin pamphlet that had arrived with our tank. And, we learned a few things. We allowed more time for the water to be ready. We chose hardier fish. We made sure not to let the kids bond with the fish at the store, making the first purchases ourselves. We talked to the kids about cycling the tank, being clear with them that the fish may not survive the chemical changes a new tank goes through.

Still, this morning, at the end of our first night with 3 Longfin Zebra Danios in the tank, the kids were up before their alarm clock. The first question out of their mouths? "Are they still alive?" Thankfully, we could answer, "Yes." And the stairwell rang with the thunder of children's feet as they ran downstairs to look.

We turned on the light and let the children watch the first feeding. It was a thrill to see the kids so fascinated. By the end of the morning, they had found a name for our smallest Danio -- Sam.

And so begins our journey into pet-ownership... Wish us luck.

(I think we'll need it.)

- Midwest Mom

Education in Trouble

2010-02-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

I am seriously worried about our public education system in Illinois.

Here's the situation: The state of Illinois is behind in its payments to elementary, secondary, and post-secondary schools to the tune of MILLIONS of dollars. In our city, school officials are coming to realize that they may never see that money.

So, there is a giant hole -- not of our making -- in our public school budget, and now officials have to scramble to 'adjust' the costs of education. That means, educators will be losing their jobs. Class sizes will increase. And, even as No Child Left Behind ramps up expectations for results in student testing [next year, 85% percent of students must meet or exceed standards in reading and math], we will be pulling the proverbial rug out from under the teachers we expect to deliver those results.

At this point, it doesn't really matter whose fault it is -- although most fingers point to politicians in Springfield. The sad reality is that small towns like ours are in serious trouble. Republicans and Democrats in our state government have failed our children.

They continue to fail them.

And teachers, students, parents, and school administrators are bearing the brunt of the consequences.

The lack of serious solutions makes me sick.

- Midwest Mom

Seven is a Lucky Number

2010-02-22T08:18:00.000-08:00

My younger son turns seven today, and it's hard to believe how much he's grown.

The weekend was packed with fun. We had a roller skating party with friends from school and ALL the Illinois cousins...

For the party, I made one of the best cakes EVER! (And it was delicious!)

And today, we're headed to school to surprise him. (I can't wait.)

When I think back to this day, seven years ago, I am astounded that my little miracle -- conceived shortly after I had miscarried, carried to term, and delivered (VBAC) naturally -- could possibly be seven. He was so tiny when he was born, but when I first took him in my arms I remember feeling gratitude so overwhelming that it bordered on disbelief.

I'm still grateful for him -- every day. He is and always will be my treasure.

- Midwest Mom

Parenting through Hard Times: Sharing the Load

2010-02-18T04:23:00.000-08:00

Almost a year has passed, and times are still tough here in the Midwest. The foreclosure crisis has caused a strain that is still toppling families. Our dollars buy less than they did a year or two ago.

The good news? We've adjusted. And the changes we've made to our family finances have made our household budget a lot healthier. So, for us, the outlook is better.

But there are still jobs disappearing and families out there who are struggling. So I thought I'd resurrect this one from the files for the readers who need it most. It was originally published in April 2009.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Yesterday I read the latest economic statistics, and the news wasn't happy. What has me most concerned was the number 8.4%. It's the number of home mortgage payments a month or more late in the state of Illinois. I can't stop the mental calculations.

Foreclosed Homes = Families in Trouble

Our children are smart enough to see the pensive look that sometimes crosses our faces. They know enough to ask questions of us when our heads are close, leaning over the newspaper, discussing friends and family members who have lost their jobs. They notice that we are buying less from the grocery store and the department store. When we schedule family fun, it is not a costly affair.

So far, when they ask, we have downplayed our inner worry; children should not have to bear the brunt of adult responsibilities. But we have shared tidbits here and there about the troubled economy. The question facing many parents right now is: how do you share the full reality of hard times with your kids? And should you?

I can't answer for every parent or every family, but I can share the approach we've come to.

Be Honest: Parents' first instinct is always to protect their children. But, when a bad economy threatens to change life dramatically, the best way to protect them may be to prepare them. In our case, we talk about work and expenses realistically with our children. We allow them to ask questions, and we answer those questions the best that we can. Often, we steer the conversation away from everyone's worst fears. But we make room for our children's fears to be expressed. We reassure, but we don't spin a fairy tale. It's a fine line to walk, being honest without scaring your children, but we do our best to walk it nonetheless.

Educate about Trade-offs: We have a birthday coming up. It won't be an all-out bash like we've had in the past. I will give my oldest some choices about how he would like to celebrate. If he chooses a bigger party with more people, the trade-off is that he will get smaller gifts from us, because the party itself will be more expensive. It is important to us that we explain the reality of our budget and leave the choices up to him. That way, he retains some control and learns to prioritize.

Emphasize Gratitude: When families don't have as much money in the household budget, it can be tempting to give in to self-pity. Sometimes it can be helpful to take time together to enjoy the simple things in our lives -- a long family bike ride, a hike in the woods, splashing in mud puddles, cooking together, planting a garden together, watching a beautiful sunset, visiting with Grandparents, watching the stars. These things are free. So is the fact that our family is together. Changing focus from what you are giving up to the blessings you have can be a gift to your children. And setting aside time each day to talk about what you're grateful for can foster a sense of peace in troubled times -- for parents and children.

Pray Together: Our family moved from Chicago to the Washington, DC metro area when I was about seven. It was 1979 and the housing market was very slow. My parents carried two mortgages for about 18 lean months. It was a hard time for such a large family -- my parents and six of us kids. My parents made the decision to put our worries in God's hands by adding a small prayer to our grace before meals. We just said, "Dear Lord, thank you for our house and please help us to sell our house." After the house finally sold, the prayer changed to "Thank you for our house and thank you for helping us sell our house." I think I included that prayer of gratitude in my private prayers for at least a decade afterward. Now that I'm an adult and shoulder the burdens of our family finances, I understand why my parents chose to pray the way they did. They were sharing the load of their worries with us and with someone infinitely more powerful. They were giving voice to their concerns and also handing over control. When the time was right, a buyer emerged and my parents worked with that family to make our old home their first home. Theirs was a great example to me, and now I draw strength from prayer, putting worry in its place so I can take care of my responsibilities.

Share the Plan: Being honest with your children about how the economy will effect your life is an important step. Possibly more important is sharing the way forward. Parents can tell their children why they will be working more hours or set and talk about family goals to put more savings away or to pay off debts. The goal is always to show your children what action you are taking to make life more secure for them. If your family will be moving, get your children in on the planning. Make it an adventure if you can. Give them a chance to plan a little bit too. It will help the whole family to feel more in control.

Find Strength in your Family History: We know and tell our family stories. My dad has told my boys about his mother's victory garden. This year, my oldest has planted a garden of his own. My mother's family vacations as a child were simple: camping at a local park and swimming in the river every day with kids from the neighborhood. We can easily keep up the tradition at our own 'swimming hole'. My husband's grandfather owned a store with his brother during the depression. They lost it because they extended credit to families who needed food. It was something he never regretted doing, and he went on to live a long, full, joy-filled life. Grandpa Kelly's story has given us perspective, teaching us that situations change, jobs change, and the best we can do is to be as kind as we can. In the end, what matters is how we live, not where our paycheck comes from. So, tell your family's immigrant story, bring your children to visit the home where their grandparents grew up, visit older relatives and ask them to share their memories. It will give you context and perspective.

Set Goals and Stay Positive: Find ways to think positively about the future. Even though times are uncertain, focus on the things that are certain. Make family goals and work to keep them, even if the goals are simple. We will go fishing with Grandpa. We will be brave enough to go off the diving board. We will learn to fix your bike together. We will grow our own vegetables. We will volunteer every week at the food bank. We will help our elderly neighbor with odd jobs. The goals can be big or small, but setting them, working toward them, and meeting them can be a great way to build something for the future. Taking positive action is an important part of maintaining a positive outlook. It helps both parents and kids look at a problem and think, we can lick this.

Our basic view is this: God put us in this family for a reason. We have to find the strength to get through when times are tough -- together. That means being honest, making good choices, forming a plan, setting goals, and staying positive. Our family is the most important bond we have been given; we hope it is a source of love and understanding, even when our patience and endurance are being tested. And our family is only complete with every member.

So, we choose to share the load. We show our children they are valued when we share with them. Even when the news is not good at first. As parents, we can and should assure them that we will face life's challenges together. When we do, I truly believe there is nothing we can't accomplish.

- Midwest Mom

A Little Snow Perspective

2010-02-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

I remember the snow when I was in first grade. It was the late 70's, and we lived in Buffalo Grove, Illinois (outside Chicago.) We got walloped with snow storm after snow storm.

I loved it.

There was so much snow that the city had to put red stakes in the snowbanks to show where the stop signs were. We walked to school on top of those snowbanks, looking down at passing cars.

After school, the neighborhood kids tunneled through the snow like eskimo squirrels. My dad helped us to make a slide in front of our house by scooting us down the snowbank on our snow-panted bottoms and then pouring a bucket or two of water down the indentation made by our rear ends. It was a fast slide.

We had snowball fights for the ages. Our snow forts were as impregnable as the Chateau d'If -- for no other reason than the eleven feet of standing snow on the ground.

What's amazing about my memories is that I don't remember people complaining about the snow. All I remember is consuming lots and lots of hot cocoa and Campbell's soup that winter.

That's why I laugh when I hear of the Federal Government shutting down because of a little snow. Granted, two feet of snow may seem like an awful lot... But, what do you expect when you elect a Midwesterner President of the United States? He was bound to bring a little weather in tow.

Here in the flatlands, we're enjoying our second day off from school this week. The boys are outside sledding with friends in the backyard. It's a well-earned bit of fun for them; they spent a half-hour this morning shoveling our front walk.

When they came inside after their "hard work", it was fun to hear them chatter to each other about how cold it was and how deep the snow was. "There's a TON of snow out there," my first-grader stated gravely as if I would be consumed by the blizzard were I to step foot outside.

As they settled in for their warm drinks, I tiptoed out with my ruler.

Six inches.

Still, they've fashioned some pretty swell snow forts out of that six inches...

But I wonder about my own recollections, now. And I wonder about my niece and nephew in Maryland imagining their way through 28 inches of the white stuff... What stories will they be able to tell?

- Midwest Mom

Boundaries and the Blog as Confessional

2010-02-07T08:13:00.001-08:00

I cannot help it.

Despite putting my writing 'out there' for public consumption, I cannot get over the fact that certain parts of my private life should remain private.

So, I've taken down my more recent efforts at autobiography.

Sorry to disappoint, but Midwest Moms was never supposed to be solely about me. It is a platform to for me to translate my parenting experience into a form that could help other parents. Putting my own story into narrative form serves an entirely different aim. And while I may continue that writing privately, I feel uncomfortable with making it available here.

My apologies to those friends who have been so encouraging. But sometimes second thoughts make sense. This is one of those cases.

- Julia

Update and Classic Novel Request

2010-01-26T07:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas has officially left the building.

This weekend, we worked like crazy. And so, completed the long-dreaded chore. We also cleaned out the basement (thereby filling the garage with items to give away...)

In fact, did I have a weekend?

I must have, because I distinctly remember going swimming with the children at some point. And my husband was present for most of the work we did, so those days must have been Saturday and Sunday...

* * * *

Our Story, Part II is in the works. I'm finding I have to outline a bit to make sure I approach the story correctly. Sometimes, I will write for a good long while and then realize that I need to go back and lay the foundation for something... Writing is such an interesting process. I'm having a lot of fun with it.

* * * *
I'm exploring the idea of going back into teaching. It's been a while, but I'm finding that I'm excited at the prospect of it.

* * * *

This week's read is The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway. One of my goals for the past year has been to read more classic fiction. I've enjoyed it so much, that I'm continuing into 2010.

My last classic read was Their Eyes Were Watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston. It was written in dialect, which was tough at first, but once my mind adjusted, I was swept away by the story itself.

Now, I'm wondering what classics you would recommend? What are your favorite reads that should absolutely be included on my 2010 reading list? And why?

- Midwest Mom

Must I?

2010-01-19T07:45:00.000-08:00

I love this. Must I really really take it down??

Pick Up and Dust Off

2010-01-15T11:55:00.000-08:00

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.

- George Bernard Shaw

Lately, I have been a terrible coward.

It's difficult to admit it, but there it is.

You see, this Fall, I took a chance to do a kind of writing I haven't before. I wrote a weekly feature article for an online publication. It was work I enjoyed, and my writing was well-received.

My feature highlighted blogs and bloggers whose work deserved to be showcased. In return, I was supposed to receive compensation. But benefits promised never materialized, and my sense of trust in the people I had devoted time and work and energy to promote eroded.

In the end, I stopped writing my weekly feature. Stopped cold. The response?
Silence.

Looking back, I understand that I was taken advantage of. It's awful to have to admit that, because it was the most recent of many failures 2009 held for me. But worse than just 'not panning out', it truly made me feel foolish to have trusted untrustworthy people.

Afterward, I lost my motivation to write altogether. Even though I wouldn't admit it, in some way I blamed myself for the dishonest behavior of others. (And thanks to Stacy at 4everMom for picking up on my funk almost immediately. You're quite an insightful friend.)

But it's time to stop moping.

So, here I am again. Back at Midwest Moms. And, quite honestly, it feels good to be writing in my own space. Here, I write to my own deadlines and standards. My work is driven by my own sense of creativity and purpose. And the friends who come to visit and leave a note are exactly that -- friends.

So, let's agree to pick up and dust off. I have a feeling 2010 will be a better year.

- Midwest Mom

2009 -- Resolutions Report Card

2009-12-29T08:01:00.000-08:00

Oh my. I know I have that resolutions list from last January hidden around here somewhere...

Ah. Here it is.

Now it's time to see how I did... (oh, boy.)

Resolution #1: Listen to my children more – I try to appreciate how wonderful my children are, but I always feel like I could be doing more to really listen to them and know the marvelous individuals they are becoming. This is an ongoing resolution, but one that I’m looking forward to.

Grade: B
There's always room for improvement on this one, but I think I remembered this resolution at least monthly. Having listening as a goal helped me to be more open and accepting. More joy seeped in when I wasn't paying attention. (A nice side-benefit.)

Resolution #2: Make some Dough -- By the end of the year, I would really like to be able to bake bread consistently and well (with no bread machine.) I know it’s something that takes practice – I just haven’t been willing to endure the failure it will take to finally get it right. This is the year I will do it.

Grade: D+
I didn't make bread more than twice this year... and my in-laws got me a garage sale bread machine to use. Needless to say, I have taken the 'busy housewife' route of using frozen bread dough or take-n-bake bread. So, Julia Child I am not. I accept it and wipe this resolution from my list with a clear conscience.

Resolution #3: Get Moving – Everyone always starts their resolutions with diet and exercise. I am afraid I have been falling down on the job, or more accurately sitting down at the computer screen. The problem is, I really truly enjoy getting daily exercise. It makes me feel better about myself in too many ways to count. I just haven’t been real good at fitting it into my routine. I have to find a way to change that reality.

Grade: B+
This year, I made a point of staying active during the winter, and all summer long we swam at the pool. (Obviously, I felt good enough about my figure to spend that amount of time in a bathing suit, so that in itself is a mark of success -- or loss of shame?) Still, I asked for my gym membership back as a Christmas present, and Santa lovingly obliged. So, we'll kick it up a notch.

Resolution #4: Go West – We have a family goal of getting out West this year. We love camping and the mountains, but we haven’t taken our children very far west of the “Mighty Mississip”. This is the year we will change that.

Grade:C+ [Due to assignment change -- extension given until 2011]
We traveled so much this year, including a 20-day grand tour of the Eastern-Seaboard in late summer and another 10-day trip at Thanksgiving. Needless to say, we get an "A for effort", even if our year was more Amber Waves of Grain than Purple Mountain Majesty. (Plus, there's always next year.)

Resolution #5: Work on my Sisterhood – On Midwest Moms, I have talked about the amazing support network I feel whenever I turn to other Moms for help or advice. “The Sisterhood of Moms” has been such a blessing to me. But one thing I have to work on is regularly including my own sisters in my friend network. We live in different parts of the country, and it can be difficult to keep in touch. This year I don’t want distance to be an excuse.

Grade: A+
I'm happy about renewing my friendship with both of my sisters, including *actually* seeing them and visiting their homes with my family. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but sharing the same space with my sisters for a while sure was an important part of my year.

Overall: B- (On the Michigan scale -- not too shabby.)

And now I can start to think about 2010. (oh, boy.)

- Midwest Mom

'Tis the Season

2009-12-18T05:28:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day of school for my children. As of 3 p.m. we will be together for 2 1/2 weeks with no bedtimes or wake-up times (except for Sunday.)

I'm so excited.

But more exciting than the prospect of vacation is the wonderful celebration day the kids' teachers have planned for today. My boys got to wear their pajamas to school for a special storytelling day. They will have cocoa and a snack in their classrooms, too. My daughter will have a visit from the Big Man Himself, who will preside over a preschool gift exchange. The atmosphere among the 4-year-old set this morning was electric.

Personally, I am looking forward to today with a huge sense of gratitude. My children have teachers who give it their all every single day. They are talented and enthusiastic women, and I feel blessed that they are the ones guiding and teaching my crew.

So, while it's the season for celebration and fun, it's also the season for saying 'Thank You'. To Rosi and Pat and Kim and Patti, THANKS. You are wonderful beyond words. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas.

- Midwest Mom

Freezing to Save Money on Groceries

2009-12-04T11:18:00.000-08:00

I admit it. I have discovered yet another way My Mother Was Right. And it's all about using my freezer to save money on groceries.

I'll explain.

This Fall my sister in law gave me a chest freezer she wasn't using anymore. She had purchased a new model, and I was only too happy to give the freezer a new home. To be honest, I had already been in the market for a freezer. Because I grow an abundance of fruits and vegetables, which I flash-freeze to preserve, I have needed extra cold storage. So, when my sister in law made the offer, I was thrilled.

But after using the freezer for a while, I have been surprised to find that it helps me to save money on my regular groceries. In fact, our food budget has gone down by around $300 a month.

Because I have a freezer, I can over-purchase freezable items when they're on sale. I bring them home and freeze the excess. In addition to standard frozen food items, I have frozen

milk
butter
bacon
beef
chicken
fish
cheese
soup
cranberries
garden vegetables
bread

Now that I can freeze the essentials, I've cut down how often I go to the store. In fact, I'm only going to the store at the beginning of the month. I write on my calendar what day I shopped and how much I spent. Then I see how long I can wait before shopping again. Last month, I made it 28 days.

If I'm not in the store, I'm not spending. My snack-avoidance willpower isn't tested on a weekly basis. I can decide what kinds of sweets or snacks to have on hand each month, plan them into our food budget, and stick to the plan. At the end of the month, we even have food left over. So before I shop again, I take inventory and make a list. I read the sale papers and pay a visit to our local butcher. I buy meat on sale and go to the store that has the lowest milk prices. I have been buying more of what we need and making fewer impulse purchases. (That is, if you don't count Christmas decorations...)

The thing is, using a freezer to stock up and save money is nothing new. My mother raised 6 of us, and pulling bread out of the freezer (or meat or pumpkin for pumpkin pie) was part of our routine. She used to go once a month to a grocery store that was an hour away, just because they had lower prices. I would wake up at 6 am on a Saturday to go along. (Now that's bargain-hunting!)

I'm just grateful to have a chance to do a little saving now for my own family. It sure has come in handy these past couple of months. And with Christmas around the corner, it feels good to know we'll have a few extra pennies to rub together.

Now, I'm wondering...
Do You freeze?
Do you have any money-saving freezer tricks to share?

- Midwest Mom

My Best Birthday Yet

2009-12-03T09:33:00.000-08:00

Tuesday was my birthday.

This year, for the first time in recorded history, there was no hoopla. There were no packages to open and no cake.

Believe it or not, that was my choice.

Instead of gifts this year, I asked my husband if we could travel to see my parents at Thanksgiving. So, that was my present.

We stayed in New Hampshire for an entire week, taking two days to drive each way. (Hence the reason for my silence here at Midwest Moms.)

And it was wonderful.

The whole family had a fantastic time. We went candlepin bowling and hiking. The weather was unusually warm, so the kids and their cousins spent plenty of time rock climbing and exploring the woods behind my parent's house.

There were chores, too, to be sure. After all, there were sixteen people in my parents home, so someone had to clean the bathroom! But we also stacked wood, baked pies, my husband did some woodworking for my dad, and we helped with heaps and heaps of dishes.

It was a delight to spend the time with my Mom, especially. But we also enjoyed sharing our family with my brother's and sisters' families for an unprecedented second time in one year.

We made our way home on Sunday, pausing only to let the kids play on the expressway when we were caught in a 1-hour traffic jam (I-70 Westbound in Ohio, if you must know... exit 132.) Fortunately, our fellow drivers also unloaded their kids and the weather was brilliant. The couple in the SUV in front of us even had two little dogs that knew dozens of tricks. It was like a pet circus right in the middle of the interstate.

After that hiccup, we made our way home easily, arriving right on time.

So, when my birthday actually came, I was content to ooh and ahh over the home-made cards my children had made and relax with a strawberry margarita at our favorite Mexican restaurant in the evening.

A day without dishes was the icing on the (non-existent) cake. We bought our children some sweets at the restaurant and called it a night.

Still, as I look back, I feel satisfied. The trip made it undoubtedly one of my best birthdays yet.

(Now... to get started on the holidays!)

- Midwest Mom

Facebook = Time-Waster of the Week

2009-11-18T10:04:00.001-08:00

Okay.

So, here's the thing.

I originally went on Facebook to share photos and get in touch with family and friends.

But lately?

I'm just wasting time.

How?

I'm farming...

And running a cafe...

It's ridiculous, really. Such a poor use of my time. After all, I could be gardening with real dirt instead of virtual gardening... or cooking in my own kitchen instead of some virtual kitchen.

But, see the thing is, on my virtual farm, nothing smells and no dirt gets under my fingernails. And in my virtual kitchen the dirty dishes mysteriously disappear (...along with hours of my time.)

Not so in reality.

In reality-ville, I have to worry about frost and bugs and weeding my garden. And I have to plan dinner every night, wondering whether my kids are going to turn their noses up or compliment the food.

So, maybe my time wasters are really just little fantasies. But now I have to worry about what kind of fantasies I'm having...

[Fantasy farming?!? Seriously?!??]

Man... This Midwest Mom needs to get a life.

- Midwest Mom

The Power of Listening

2009-11-16T08:12:00.000-08:00

On Saturday morning, I sat still in my room and listened to the rhythms of our home. What I heard was disconcerting.

For the past two weeks, we've had a houseful of sickies. All of us have been run down or feverish at one time or another. Sadly, the worry and wakeful nights have combined with our physical symptoms to fill our house with crabbiness.

Over the weekend, though, symptoms of the flu seemed to dwindle. The kids weren't feverish or sore anymore, and except for the stray cough here or there, you could hardly tell we'd been sick.

Strangely, though, the crabbing continued.

So, on Saturday morning, I found I miraculously had a few moments to myself. I spent them in silence, listening.

I was horrified. After about 15 minutes, I knew I wasn't the only one who needed to hear this.

So, I brought my younger son to the top of the stairs. He thought he was getting in trouble for purposefully annoying his sister until she cried. (He was, but not in the way he thought...)

I made him sit next to me and listen.

He did. Then he said, "Oh. ... I did that, didn't I?" We exchanged a few words about kindness and changing the sounds in our home, just as my older son barked out an order to someone. I sent my younger son downstairs.

"Tell your brother to come up and see me." In a few minutes, I was joined by my oldest. He rolled his eyes and sighed with annoyance as he plopped down next to me.

He listened. But already the sounds of the house were changing.

There is something wonderful about parenting quietly enough that kids can come to their own conclusions about things. My oldest son said, "No one else is talking in an angry voice." It was true. I asked him whether he was willing to be a friend and treat other people with kindness. He said he would, hugged me, and returned downstairs.

Next was my daughter. After a week of pampering because she was ill, my dear child emerged with a touch of Veruca Salt. "I want it!" had been had been uttered by her a bit too often for my taste. And when her brothers did something she didn't like, she let it be known -- loudly.

I invited her to sit with me and listen. She wanted to do it in my lap. So, I let her and she snuggled in, twisting my hair in her fingers.

We could hear her brothers playing downstairs. They were being kind. She noticed.

As I held my daughter, I explained that she wouldn't get everything she wanted all the time. Life isn't like that. And in our home, the answer to any question that starts with "I want..." is automatically No. I asked quietly how she was feeling. She shared and I listened.

My husband called us to breakfast. So, we descended from our listening place.

Later in the day, I made sure that my crew had plenty of time to run out their energy outside. They had been cooped up for so long, they were grateful to spend the day in the sunshine. They played together with our neighbor for most of the afternoon. The squabbles were still there, but they were fewer and less severe.

I like to think that's because my children were listening to their own voices as they used them. When I took time to listen later in the day, I heard more laughter than discord, and that made me happy.

- Midwest Mom

Remembrance

2009-11-11T05:45:00.000-08:00

In Flanders Fields

by Lt. Col. John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep,
Though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Please take a few moments today to honor the fallen today. It is important, whatever your politics, to mark days such as this by teaching your children what Veterans Day means. It is more than a day off from school or work -- it is a day to remember those who have given their lives to advance the freedom of others. It is also a day to show that we value all soldiers and their families and to express the hope that arms will be only raised in the cause of justice, at last resort.

- Midwest Mom

******************
My Veteran's Day/Remembrance Day post at the BlogCatalog blog today is part of the BloggersUnite! Who will Stand event. It highlights blogs written by and for soldiers and their families, everyday ways to support active duty soldiers and their families, to support our veterans, and to push for the benefits soldiers need when they come home from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Battling The Flu: We've Got it Too

2009-11-09T05:43:00.000-08:00

I don't know if we're more sensitive this year or if the flu is stronger, but our family is being walloped by germs.

Last week, my first grader was home all 5 days from school. Four of those days, he had a high fever. He had aches and pains. He had a dry cough.

Fortunately, the cough was short-lived. And no headache.

That means it was standard flu, not H1N1.

Honestly, my heart broke for the little guy. He was so sick that his emotions were on edge all week long. He had no energy and napped for at least a third of each day. Even this weekend, when the fever was gone, his appetite had not fully returned and he tired easily. I'm sending him back to school today, hoping that he'll make it through without getting too exhausted.

When he left with his Daddy, he asked me sincerely to just stay home and play with me. I don't think kids realize how tempting it is for a Mom to just say 'yes'. But I told him it was time to go back and reminded him of all the things he loves about school.

(If I ever considered home-schooling, it would be because of this child. Even when he's home sick, I feel spoiled by having him around. He is my buddy.)

My other two, the more driven ones, are home today instead. They have high fevers that started over the weekend. My oldest is weathering the flu rather well. He at least can play and his fever comes and goes. For my youngest -- my four year old -- the fever is constant, and it has sapped all her energy. She's just laying around in her footie pajamas asking to watch her favorite cartoon, The Pink Panther.

She was a steadfast friend to my first grader when he was sick. She sat with him and entertained him, and what does she get by way of thanks? Germs. Poor girl. She has the aches and the cough, but no headache (thank goodness).

To battle the flu, I've done a few things:

1) I've given them space of their own. We designate one couch as "the sickie bed", covering it with sheets and allowing only the sick child to lay there.

2) I'm pushing fluids. I went to the store and got juices that are my kids' favorites. My daughter can't get enough of Ruby Red Grapefruit juice (because it's pink?) My son is a fan of Cranberry-Apple. I alternate juice and water to keep them hydrated.

3)I'm making chicken soup. Whether it's a simple bowl of chicken ramen noodles or Hearty Chicken Soup with vegetables and noodles, soup really seems to help my kids. It's one of the few things they'll reliably eat when they're feeling feverish. I think the warmth and saltiness of the broth is soothing.

4) I encourage rest. I keep my kids completely out of school and activities. I keep the house quiet and make time for naps. I give them reading time and screen time. If the weather is nice, I might make time for 15 minutes out in the sunshine if they feel up to it, but no running or rough play. Instead, we spend time in the garden or on the swings and then go back inside.

5) I keep them warm, but not too warm. My daughter especially loves her fleece pajamas. But I like to dress my sickies in cotton or other breathable fabrics so they don't get too warm. That way, when their fever spikes, it doesn't have a chance to get dangerously high the way it can when they're bundled too warmly.

6) I treat the fever when needed. I use Motrin (ibuprophen) to control my kids' aches and fever. I know I'm not alone in this -- a weekend visit to Wal-mart found them completely sold out of every brand! Fortunately, I found it at Walgreens, my next stop. So, I stocked up. I always let the medication completely wear off before giving a second dose and take my child's unmedicated temperature. It gives me a good way to measure how the sickness is progressing.

7) I keep our doctor informed. I try to keep a healthy dialogue with our physician and his nurse, even if I don't plan on bringing the kids in. They can give me hints on treatment and let me know what danger signs to look for if my child takes a turn for the worse.

Based on the empty Motrin shelf at the Urbana Wal-mart, I know I'm not the only Mom doing battle right now. Honestly, caring for sick little ones is taking its toll (I'm exhausted!) But, so far so good -- we're not in dangerous territory.

I'm just hoping we're on the road to good health soon.

(But if you'll excuse me, this Midwest Mom is off to disinfect my house again. And get today's pot of chicken soup on to cook. A Mom's work is never done...)

- Midwest Mom

Over the Top (and I don't just mean the Stallone Movie...)

2009-11-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

Look what my friend Green Girl in Wisconsin gave me (that lovable galoshes-wearing gardener!) I'm so grateful to have her as a friend and to read her writing. She brings out my inner Cheese-head. :)

Now, it's time to pass along the fun. Here are the rules:

1.) Thank and post URL to the blog that gave the award. (Check!)

2.) Pass the award along to 6 brilliantly over the top blogs. Alert them so they know to receive the award. (Check!)

I'll pass this along to some of my favorites:

Me-Me at The Screaming Me-Me! Whose writing never fails to make me laugh. [MadMadMargo on Twitter]

Rayne at Rayne of Terror, who -- like me -- loves to garden. [devivo on Twitter]

Leighann at Multi-Minding Mom, the greenest of my greenie girlfriends and a terrific blogger. [LeighannMMM on Twitter]

Stacey (Mom24) at 4everMom, a fantastically frugal meal-planning mom, whose life is so full, it's hard to keep up! [Mom24 on BlogCatalog]

Lesley at My Turn to Talk, a new friend I'm so glad to have. [Latest post, which I love, Blink.]

And

Susan at Erasing the Bored, a talented writer with a positive perspective on life. [Another latest post I love, Do Be a Do-Be]

3.) Copy and paste this quiz… Change the answers and use ONE word (whenever possible). (Check!)

1-Your cell phone? Mythical (I don't have one.)
2- Your hair? Shiny (Gotta love Fall!)
3-Your mother? Graceful
4-Your father? Protective
5-Your favorite food? Tomatoes
6-Your favorite drink? Baileys
7-Your dream last night? Bizarre
8-Your dream/goal? Balance
9-What room are you in? Den
10-Your hobby? Writing
11-Your fear? Loss of a Child (sorry, not one word)
12-Where do you want to be in 6 years? Michigan
13-Where were you last night? Home
14-Something that you aren’t? Tall
15-Muffin? Pumpkin
16-Wish list item? Laptop
17-Where did you grow up? Suburbs
18-Last thing you did? Brewed (chai black tea -- yum)
19-What are you wearing? Bare Feet
20-Your TV? On (sickies are watching Max & Ruby)
21-Your pets? Spotted (my kids have adopted every ladybug they see)
22-Friends? Dear
23- Your life? Full
24-Your mood? Content
25-Missing someone? Mom
26-Vehicle? 1995 Eagle Vision (I know you're jealous. It's a classic.)
27-Something you aren’t wearing? Make-up
28-Your favorite store? TJ Maxx
29-Favorite color? Yellow
30-When was the last time you laughed? 7:20 a.m.
31-Last time you cried? Yesterday
32-Your best friend? Joe
33-One place you go to over and over? My Garden
34-One person who emails you regularly? Melissa
35-Favorite place to eat? Home

Many thanks to all the wonderful friends I've met here and on BlogCatalog and Twitter. You are truly amazing women and my life is fuller for knowing you.

- Midwest Mom

Midwest Fall Breathes its Last

2009-11-04T05:23:00.000-08:00

The wind has picked up, the last breath of Fall sending leaves showering down and skittering along the pavement.

They lay piled thickly on rooftops and on the abandoned truck across the street. They clog gutters and gather at bases of bushes and trees. Eerily, they hang among the wispy remnants of Halloween cobweb.

Under the crisp blue sky, the whine of leaf blowers rings through the air, making the gentle rustle of our old-fashioned rakes sound more like a whisper than work. We are being shushed.

I laugh as the kids swing high and leap into space, plummeting into an enormous pile of crackling brown. They giggle as they crawl among the ladybugs, leaves stuck in hair and hoods and caught in fleece.

We tidy up after nature's clutter, cutting back summer's bounteous growth, now simultaneously overgrown and skeletal. Bringing order to chaos is a satisfying venture.

The birds are gone. And I feel the need to fill a feeder for the few stragglers who remain. The outdoors is muffled and smells of mold and dampness. There are no bees, only worms thriving on decay.

We witness as the colors of Autumn become the shivering nakedness of winter.

- Midwest Mom

What to Do with All That Candy

2009-11-03T05:55:00.000-08:00

I've been wracking my brain for the past couple of days, trying to find inventive ideas for what to do with this sudden glut of willpower-bending carbohydrate on our dining room table.

We are not a family that has candy in the house a lot. It's a special treat. Most often, I keep some in reserve to buoy my children's spirits on a long hike or a marathon drive.

But the haul they pulled down on Halloween has me wondering about my options. As I see it, here they are.

Option #1: Give a Free-Candy Day, wherein I watch my kids binge on sugar until they turn green and then turn them outdoors to run off the energy. The benefit of this approach? The festival atmosphere of it. And the fact that often they will be so engaged with trying new varieties that they will leave several kinds of candy unwrapped but untouched. As I clean up, that will go into the trash. The downside? Super-sugar rush can't be healthy. And the binge will absolutely need to be followed by a tooth-scrubbing.

Option #2: Dad and I eat It, wherein we watch our waistlines gradually balloon until we can no longer see our socks. Or, alternately, watch each other get broader in the beam until we have to buy super-wide chairs. Also, the children will get increasingly suspicious of what goes on in our household after they go to bed, saying "Hey!! Who stole my candy!!?!" and aiming accusing looks whichever parent has chocolate breath. (Although tasty, maybe this isn't the best choice for us.)

Option #3: Set Treats aside for the Future. Certain types of candy (like M&Ms or plain chocolate) can be used as baking ingredients (think cookie dough). Hard Candy could go into our hiking/long trip supply. Gummies will keep to use as great birthday cake decorations. At most, this would reduce the candy haul by about a third. But, sadly, the candies that will make the best baking ingredients are also my kids favorites.

Option #4: Donate It, wherein my children weep inconsolably because we gave their hard earned sweets to the food pantry or family shelter where they would be gratefully accepted. No one said doing good for others was easy. But the key to this one is willing children. I'm not sure I would have that, but it might be worth a try.

Option #5: Turn it into Cash. Dentists in our area actually pay kids to turn in soft, gummy (which is to say tooth-corroding) candy. They will pay per piece or per pound. I wonder, though, how satisfied my little capitalists will feel walking away with fifty cents in exchange for their sweets.... Still, it's worth considering.

Option #6: Experiment with it, wherein my kids give in to their inner mad scientists to see what happens when they crush, melt, dissolve, and mix them. I provide the materials (soda, cold and warm water, vinegar, oil, my microwave and freezer) and aprons. And I give my kids a chance to be as creative as they want. I have to say, other than the mess, I don't see a downside to this option. I even found a website with candy experiment ideas. Totally worth a try.

Option #7: Use Candy as an Art Supply, wherein the power of Elmer's glue combines with the lure of bright colors. My artists can find ways to use their candy to create. (I think this is a good partner to Option #6; it's just as messy.)

Of course, the key to my personal well-being after Halloween is getting the candy out of sight. So, whatever we do, we'll need to do it quickly. Or Mommy's going to need new jeans this Christmas... (just sayin'.)

If you have other ideas, though, lay 'em on me. In the meantime, I'm going to muster my willpower and keep out of the Dining Room!

- Midwest Mom

Halloween Photos and Fun

2009-11-02T06:37:00.000-08:00

What fun Halloween turned out to be.

It started off a little rocky. My first grader started feeling sick on Friday night. That turned out to be our night of horror -- stomach flu. After a few bouts of the heaves in the middle of the night. He was in bed or on the couch for most of the day.

But, by afternoon, he was asking for -- and keeping down -- food. Hubby and I talked about it and decided he could go on limited Trick or Treating. He had to follow some rules we set about keeping his distance from other kids. (The irony here is that, before he decided to be a pirate, he had talked about trick or treating as a germ.)

The fun part was that I, for the first time, got to take him door to door. He went out early -- before the sun went down (... and before Illinois was done beating Michigan. Needless to say, my husband was glued to the TV to watch the Illini's only Big 10 win this season.) I always spend tons of time on my kids' costumes, but am the one who sits on the front porch handing out candy. So, I have settle for play by play from hubby and the kids when they get home with their haul.

Not so this year. I actually got my turn!

And I must say, the costumes turned out great. My caveman was convincing -- it was the mascara unibrow that made the costume. He also gives a convincing "Ugh!"

My pirate -- though peaked -- was swashbuckling with his home-made sword and make-up scars. He was so proud of his costume this year. (I was glad he got a chance to wear it! So was he.)

And my princess was royal, to be sure. I found a great resource, a blog called Hairstyles for Girls - A Story of a Princess and her Hair. It had every conceivable hairstyle I could have wanted for my little one, with great instructions on how to make them work. It took some time, but we made my little girl's hair into princess perfection. With a little pink on her lips and cheeks and some sparkle, too, she was darling.

After I went to just the houses on our block with my first grader, Dad took over. He stayed out nice and late with the healthy ones, even meeting up with some of Primo's friends to trick or treat as a group.

When they arrived home, they were exhausted. And the candy sorting began. For the first time ever, we actually found we had things to pull out. One of my kids had gotten unwrapped Halls cough drops. Another had gotten an unwrapped (possibly used?) tooth-flosser. Still another had gotten some sort of strange plastic something we couldn't quite identify. I asked my husband where they could have come from, and he said they were definitely from his later round of trick or treating. I was glad we checked carefully.

When the night was over, we were happy and exhausted. Everyone hurried off to bed, with an extra hour's sleep in our schedule.

It wasn't until Sunday that I wondered what on Earth we'd do with all that candy.

- Midwest Mom

Home-Made Halloween Costumes for (and with) Kids

2009-10-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

Here on the homestead, we've started to put together our Halloween Costumes.

We have one princess, one caveman, and one pirate. The princess has been easy, because we have a dear cousin who has shared some beautiful dress-up dresses with us.

The pirate and the cave-man? They're a different story.

I will be the first to admit that I'm not the most creative or crafty of moms. But I love Halloween, and so do my kids. So this year, I had to pull out the stops and get creative.

Here's how:

First, I had my kids Draw a Picture: They needed to translate their mental image of the costume they wanted into graphic form. I had to be able to see what they wanted.

Then, it was time to Make a List: I asked each of my boys to write out a checklist of items a pirate or a caveman MUST have. As we gathered or made each item, they could check it off the list.

Next, we decided to Gather things On Hand: One son dug an eye patch and pirate coins out of the toy box from a long-forgotten birthday party. The other son turned a brown throw from our living room into a caveman bearskin cape. Outdoors, he found a long stick we could fashion into a caveman spear.

When we didn't have an item, we had to Create it!: I cut craft foam in the shape of a spear tip and attached it to the end of the stick my son found. I cut a circle of felt and wove rawhide through holes at the edge to be my pirate's treasure pouch.

Then we made a pirate sword.

First we traced and cut sword shapes out of cardboard.

Then, we taped two of them together.

We glued tin foil onto the blade and wrapped the handle with red duct tape.

Finally, we put a pirate decal from the scrapbook section of the craft store onto the handle -- and my pirate was ready to rock.

On Halloween night, we'll Let Make-up do its Magic: The final step of any homemade costume is the make-up. Ugly teeth and brown smudges will turn my third grader into an authentic Neanderthal. A well-placed sneer and scar will transform my first grader into a buccaneer. And my little princess will get rosy cheeks and red, red lips. The extra step of fun, minimal make-up completes any costume.

In this process, we have learned to Accept Imperfection. A homemade costume has the potential to be far different than one from the store. But what I love about the process is that it engages my children's imaginations and helps lead them to solve the costume 'problem' on their own.

In the end, if the result is what they imagined then our Halloween has succeeded. Personally, I can't wait to see the faces of our family and friends when they answer the door and hear "Trick or Treat!"

- Midwest Mom

Love and Marriage

2009-10-27T05:45:00.000-07:00

This weekend, we had the honor of attending a very special wedding.

My husband's uncle John (also his godfather) married a dear woman after a whirlwind courtship.

We visited with family and friends all day on Saturday after a beautiful ceremony at St. Patrick's church in Tolono, Illinois. It was a celebration of life and love that was really, truly heartwarming.

Why? John and his bride are both over seventy years old.

Each has been married before, with children and grandchildren aplenty. And each had endured the death of their spouse due to prolonged illness. Despite that tragedy, they did not let sorrow wear them down. Each led an independent, full life pursuing diverse interests, continuing to learn, volunteering time, cultivating friendships, and caring for family.

Then -- after years of living alone -- they managed to meet each other.

And the rest is history.

They joked during the ceremony, in a final blessing before the assembly, that they hoped to live together until "a ripe old age" and to love one another always as much as they did at that very moment.

At the reception, we danced and laughed and told stories. The happy couple celebrated the Sacrament of Marriage more fully than I have ever seen a bride and groom celebrate. I think it is because they understand what their commitment means. And they are making a choice to live every moment and pack life with as many new experiences as possible.

I came away from the day not just happy, but hopeful.

And I have two extraordinary people to thank for it.

So, John and JoAnn, I wish you every blessing and a long and happy life together -- "until a ripe old age." You are a joy and we are so thankful to have you in our lives.

- Midwest Mom

Adventures in Housebreaking

2009-10-26T06:16:00.001-07:00

I am a felon at heart. And worse, so is my son.

The other day, I rushed and rushed to get my kids out the door and into the car so that we could head over to the local superstore for ~~beer~~ essentials. I'll admit it. I was in a hurry.

Once everyone was buckled in, I reached into my pocket. The tell-tale combination of weight and jingling left me confident we'd be on our way in no time. But instead of keys, I found eighty-five cents and a paper clip.

Rats. Locked out.

No problem, I thought, I'll get the spare.

But whoever had used the spare last (probably yours truly) hadn't put it back.

I unloaded the kids from the car. Fortunately, it was a sunny fall day and they were thrilled to play in the leaves for a while Mom figured things out. I contemplated breaking a window. I contemplated calling my in-laws. Both options (for obvious reasons) were off the table.

I contemplated calling my husband. Too much trouble. He would be home in an hour and I was planning on having my errands done by then.

What remained? I searched my memory banks and flashed back to a time I was in similar situation. I was eight years old.

The year was 1980. I was a flip-haired flare-wearing third grader. Life was good. That is, until my kindergarten-age brother and I arrived home from school one Spring afternoon to find the doors locked and the garage empty. We were perplexed. Where was Mom?

At first, we sat on the front porch steps, waiting. I have no idea what we were waiting for, but whatever it was, it never came. There was no sign of Mom and our street was as deserted as a Utah ghost town.

It occurred to me that, sitting out front like that, we were sitting ducks for a child predator of some sort. After all, Nancy Reagan had told me to be careful of that sort of thing. Someone could see us -- no Mom in sight -- and try to sell us drugs or something.

I suggested we go around to the back patio. Everyone knows drug dealers wouldn't be caught dead on a patio.

We waited, seemingly, forever. In reality, it was probably twenty minutes. Still no sign of Mom, though.

It was then that my eyes spied a way in. The kitchen window had been left open a crack. If I could just get the screen to pop out, we'd be in like Flynn. I pried. I finagled. I coaxed that screen open. My younger brother Drew mopped sweat from my brow. The screen came loose! And my tiny fingers reached through to ease up the latches and remove it from the window. With a hearty shove, the kitchen window opened, and we scrambled up and onto the kitchen floor.

I was flush with success. I thought, breaking into houses is exciting! I could do this for a living!

Nancy Reagan, I was sure, would have been ashamed, but I didn't care.

My brother and I helped ourselves to some snack and started in on our homework. My mom walked in about 10 minutes later. We grilled her about where she'd been and regaled her with the tale of our amazing feat. As she eyed the bent kitchen screen, I was sure I saw pride at our self-sufficiency gleam in her eyes.

I was wrong. It was fury.

As a mom now myself, I recognize that the angry words that flew through our harvest gold-applianced kitchen too fast for the eight year old mind to process were really just the guilt talking. She hadn't been home when her children got in from school, but rather than beat herself up about it, she decided yell up one side of us and down the other. Honestly, I can't remember much of what she said... but it was something like we were supposed to go to the neighbor's and get a spare key and now the screen was ruined and also darnit our house isn't as secure as we thought...

We went to our rooms until supper. We were in that much trouble. But for the first time in my life, I don't remember being hurt that she was upset. Even if I didn't get dessert for a week or was grounded or (God forbid) had to wait until Dad got home... I was on cloud 9. Because I had just successfully perpetrated my first felony.

Fast forward to 2009.

As the kids started a battle-royale with the fallen leaves, I turned to my house -- seemingly impregnable -- and was filled with a sense of challenge. All the tools I would need were in the garage to which, fortunately, I had access.

All I needed was an accomplice who was lithe and agile -- and willing.

My eyes fell on my eight year old third grader.

He'll do, I thought -- perfectly.

- Midwest Mom

The Law of the Pack

2009-10-19T11:28:00.001-07:00

My boys and their Dad have their first foray into the world of Scouting tonight. My first-grader, especially, is stoked.

What is he most excited about, you ask? Is it learning to camp or canoe or tie knots? Is it making new friends?

Nope.

He feels the irresistible pull of this...

"Ooh, Mom... it looks like a police shirt!" he told me last night when I showed him this photo of the Cub Scout Uniform.

Um... I thought, Police shirt?? Seriously?!??

Then I showed my son the Cub Scout promise. He recited faithfully:

I, (say your name), promise
to DO MY BEST
To do my DUTY to GOD
And my Country
To HELP other people, and
To OBEY the LAW of the Pack

Oh, how he relished those last words... You know, the part about THE PACK.

It makes me think he's going to come home howling tonight.

[This is the part of the post wherein Julia pauses to thank the Lord in heaven that the boys' DAD is doing scouts with them, not her... Because -- well -- giggling during pack meetings would be frowned upon, I'm sure. ]

I showed him the Cub Scout Motto immediately after the promise. With the same irrepressible joy, he practically shouted Do Your Best!

I thought, well... that doesn't sound so bad.

(I'm still 50-50 on it... so we'll see how it goes. At the very least, a photo of him in that uniform will be SO worth it.)

- Midwest Mom

Making Time for Friendships

2009-10-16T07:23:00.001-07:00

I decided to pull myself out of my mothering funk and encourage my boys to invite friends over on Wednesday and Thursday this week.

It was a rousing success.

My oldest invited a friend over on Wednesday, and the kids had a blast showing him around our place. I kept my daughter occupied by mixing up a batch of brownies in the kitchen while the boys went crazy in our basement playroom. After lunch, we all went outside in the yucky weather for a big game of soccer. Then, we appreciated the added bonus that he lives in our neighborhood by walking him home.

Yesterday, my younger son had his turn. He is new to the world of making friends from school, and it has been a journey finding the right sort of kids for him to befriend. He had a terrific time. They played non-stop with the Playmobil castle downstairs and spent their outdoor time riding bikes through puddles and playing a raucously muddy game of tag.

I was fun for me to see the boys with their friends. We spend so much time at school and evening activities that I rarely get the chance to see what a few friends will do with a quiet environment.

On Wednesday, my younger son was so willing to follow along with the bigger boys and do his best to play what they wanted to play, I emerged from the experience with a greater appreciation of his generous nature and easygoing manner.

On Thursday, though, while my second son played with his friend, my oldest was irritable. He chafed under the expectation that he had to let his brother lead. It left him out of sorts. I guess I hadn't realized before how much a part of my oldest's identity is tied up with being in charge. So I pulled him aside, much as I had done with my youngest the day before, and let him help me with a kitchen project -- cherry pie. I let him do all the gathering of ingredients, measuring and mixing. We spent some time with the math involved in cooking. He was in his glory (and the pie turned out great!)

Both days were a learning experience.

In the end, I found that fostering friendships was worth the time and trouble for my boys. We all gained from it (especially after eating brownies and pie!) Even though our weather remains dreary, new friends provided what we had been missing -- the excitement of something new.

Both boys said they had a wonderful time and they'd like to come over again. One even called after our visit to see if my boys would join his Boy Scout troop. So, our new friend adventures will continue.

I'm glad.

- Midwest Mom

A Message to My Love

2009-10-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

I dedicate this post to Green Girl in Wisconsin, whose humor and poetry have inspired me today. And to Joe, of course, who leaves a little something waiting for me every morning.
_________________________

Ode to Joe

Lost in your darkness
And that of the world outside
I pry lids apart to gaze at your beauty
And awake, dream of richness.

My other half has made you
Unadulterated
Pure on the edge of night
No trace of dreaded decaf in sight.

I drink you in
gratefully.
Your taste is silk
with a touch of milk.

Imbibing I sit
Before the glowing.
Offspring linger on the horizon,
Threatening.

They stir
Not as horrible
As imagined

So I too stir
And sip
And adore you.

- Midwest Mom

The Waiting game...

2009-10-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.
~Albert Einstein

My kids are on fall vacation...

We've had virtually non-stop rain for the past two weeks...

Which means...

I'm in competition for control of every moment of my day.

Any time I even contemplate sitting down for a moment of peace and reflection, a four-year old needs to go to the bathroom or is desperate for a wardrobe change... or a 6 year old wants me to see his cool spaceship or prepare a snack... or an 8 year old wants to bake something together or fix something ~~frivolous~~ vital that's just broken... Then, there's the inevitable bickering that results from the same people sharing the same space for tens of gray-weather days.

I give the kids their choice of limited screen time each day, but this much rain has been a real challenge. On the rare occasions when the weather has been nice, I've run the kids outdoors as fast as I possibly can -- just to get them (and me!) moving.

To be honest, I've missed my writing a great deal. When I do have a silent moment, my ears are ringing from the noise.

I've never been one to wish my children back to school or anything, so I'm going to whisper this really quietly...

I want my solitude back.

Even just a little bit would be nice. A few hours a day to think and to write and to be master of my own destiny.

I want to be able to make decisions without being questioned about why I'm doing what I'm doing. I want a solid hour when no one is peppering me with questions about the nature of the universe and, alternately, what we are having for supper in five hours. I want to pretend there is a hierarchy of necessary information, where all questions do not demand an immediate explanation.

I am tired of complaining. Complaints are the frustrated spirit's attempt at reflection. But it takes time to break through the negativity and the cooped-up feeling.

Time is what I do not have.

So, I'll tread water and wait. And I'll grab a few moments, like this one, to put my thoughts into words...

And I'll ask -- how do you claim time when life is too busy? When you're waiting for the schedule to clear?

- Midwest Mom

_____________________________________

And if, like me, you're in desperate need of rainy day activities, here's a fun resource: Spaghetti Box Kids. Keep it in your pantry -- you never know when you may need it.

Celebrating New Friends and Old

2009-10-07T05:12:00.000-07:00

I have two new spotlight pieces on BlogCatalog to tell you about. One I wrote last week, called the Autumn Mosaic. It is a celebration the season and my discovery of several new bloggers who are writing about Fall in their hometowns. It was such fun to write about my favorite aspects of Autumn -- I hope you'll enjoy it, too.

The other I just posted today, about a great blog I've known for a while -- Little Four Eyes. AnnZ created Little Four Eyes after her daughter (at age one) needed glasses. She has done what so many of us really hope to achieve with our blog -- that is, create a community of involved parents. She regularly invites families to write about their own experiences with their child's diagnosis and glasses and hosts kids activities and photo gallery to boot. So, if you get a chance (and want to learn something about positive blogging and creating an interactive community) head on over. AnnZ's door is always open.

And to my regular readers, if you don't already have your blog listed on BlogCatalog, you're missing out on the chance to meet and learn from some terrific, well-established bloggers. Joining is free and provides a boost in getting your articles indexed and searchable. (Besides, I can't feature you if you're not a member... so get on over there!)

- Midwest Mom

Girl Power

2009-10-06T06:53:00.001-07:00

My 4-year-old daughter is starting to discover her -- er -- feminine powers.

The other day, as my husband and I got breakfast ready for the family, she strolled into the kitchen in her new 'rock star' pajamas.

"Mom, Wonder Woman has super-panties," she declared. "I like them."

Her dad had his back to us. I heard a snort and saw his shoulders start to shake as he fought to compose himself.

Playing along, I replied, "Well, honey, she walks around in her super-panties because she wants to embarrass the bad guys. As soon as they see her, they drop the loot to cover their eyes."

At that point, Dad regained control -- at least long enough to give us both a lesson in superhero powers. "Actually," directing a pointed look at me, "Wonder Woman has a magic lasso and bracelets that make bullets bounce off and an invisible plane." Then, with a smirk, "maybe her super-panties are powerful enough to make her plane disappear."

My daughter's look was deadpan.

"No, Dad."

There was a meaningful pause.

"She does that with her super-breasts."

- Midwest Mom

Signs of Fall

2009-10-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

We had our first autumn hike yesterday. It was a relief to get outdoors under blue skies, especially since we've been virtually home-bound for a week. My oldest and youngest have been ill, so we stayed in out of the cold as much as possible to let them recover.

My six-year-old has been healthy as a horse, though. Spending time with him alone has been wonderful. During this first week of vacation, my husband and I took time to appreciate him in a special way. Since he's our middle child, he doesn't often get the chance to really just have Mom and Dad to himself. But two sickie siblings on the couch made it easy to grab some time alone with just him.

So, over the course of the past few days, little by little, he has learned to ride his two-wheeler all by himself!

We are so proud of him, but not more proud than he is of himself!

After a week in bed, his siblings were finally able to get out a bit last night. So, we went to our favorite county park for a late-afternoon hike.

It was still a little early for much orange and red -- except to show us the plants we need to avoid!

But there was plenty of golden light filtering through the trees.

We hiked the river bluff trail, and the views were wonderful.

Fortunately for my daughter, fall asters, goldenrod, and queen Anne's lace were still in supply. The perfect combination for flower-picking.

It was the kind of early fall day I will always want to remember.

- Midwest Mom

BloggersUnite to CureJM

2009-10-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Kevin of Always Home and Uncool has asked me to post this as part of his effort to raise awareness of juvenile myositis, a rare autoimmune disease his daughter was diagnosed with on this day seven years ago. The day also happens to be his wife's birthday.

Our pediatrician admitted it early on.

The rash on our 2-year-old daughter's cheeks, joints and legs was something he'd never seen before.

The next doctor wouldn't admit to not knowing.

He rattled off the names of several skins conditions -- none of them seemingly worth his time or bedside manner -- then quickly prescribed antibiotics and showed us the door.

The third doctor admitted she didn't know much.

The biopsy of the chunk of skin she had removed from our daughter's knee showed signs of an "allergic reaction" even though we had ruled out every allergy source -- obvious and otherwise -- that we could.

The fourth doctor had barely closed the door behind her when, looking at the limp blonde cherub in my lap, she admitted she had seen this before. At least one too many times before.

She brought in a gaggle of med students. She pointed out each of the physical symptoms in our daughter:

The rash across her face and temples resembling the silhouette of a butterfly.

The purple-brown spots and smears, called heliotrope, on her eyelids.

The reddish alligator-like skin, known as Gottron papules, covering the knuckles of her hands.

The onset of crippling muscle weakness in her legs and upper body.

She then had an assistant bring in a handful of pages photocopied from an old medical textbook. She handed them to my wife, whose birthday it happened to be that day.

This was her gift -- a diagnosis for her little girl.

That was seven years ago -- Oct. 2, 2002 -- the day our daughter was found to have juvenile dermatomyositis, one of a family of rare autoimmune diseases that can have debilitating and even fatal consequences when not treated quickly and effectively.

Our daughter's first year with the disease consisted of surgical procedures, intravenous infusions, staph infections, pulmonary treatments and worry. Her muscles were too weak for her to walk or swallow solid food for several months. When not in the hospital, she sat on our living room couch, propped up by pillows so she wouldn't tip over, as medicine or nourishment dripped from a bag into her body.

Our daughter, Thing 1, Megan, now age 9, remembers little of that today when she dances or sings or plays soccer. All that remain with her are scars, six to be exact, and the array of pills she takes twice a day to help keep the disease at bay.

What would have happened if it took us more than two months and four doctors before we lucked into someone who could piece all the symptoms together? I don't know.

I do know that the fourth doctor, the one who brought in others to see our daughter's condition so they could easily recognize it if they ever had the misfortune to be presented with it again, was a step toward making sure other parents also never have to find out.

That, too, is my purpose today.

It is also my birthday gift to my wife, My Love, Rhonda, for all you have done these past seven years to make others aware of juvenile myositis diseases and help find a cure for them once and for all.

To read more about children and families affected by juvenile myositis diseases, visit Cure JM Foundation at www.curejm.org.

To make a tax-deductible donation toward JM research, go to www.firstgiving.com/rhondaandkevinmckeever or www.curejm.com/team/donations.htm.

Many thanks to the 98 bloggers joining in Kevin's effort and to the bloggers of BloggersUnite! to CureJM
who are also blogging today to raise awareness of JM and work toward a cure.

Harvest of Friends

2009-09-30T05:18:00.000-07:00

This weekend, we harvested a large bowl of produce from the garden. Something about a week of rain must have signaled to our plants that it was fruiting time. We picked over a hundred cherry tomatoes, seventeen shiny ripe red peppers, and several perfectly-sized cucumbers.

I brought the produce inside and prepared some of it to have with supper on Saturday night. But there was so much of it, I wondered what on earth I would do with it all.

It was then that I decided we should do some Saturday afternoon visiting.

I decorated some small paper bags with a simple note and some ribbon and put a few peppers and about twenty tomatoes into each. The note said, "We just thought we'd share with you. -Your neighbors, the Kelly Family."

Then I called the children.

I told them about the packages I had made and asked them if they'd like to help me share them. Each child chose a neighbor, and we made our deliveries. It was fun to spend a few minutes talking with each friend we saw. One neighbor was happy because his tomato plants had succumbed to blight a few weeks earlier. Another neighbor was thrilled because there had been no peppers or tomatoes at the farmer's market that morning. And another came out to the porch to talk gardening with us while the children took turns jumping off her porch steps.

It was good visiting time.

And when we returned home, there was just enough produce left for our own family. On Sunday, I processed the tomatoes and diced the peppers to make a large pot of chili -- the perfect meal for a chilly Fall night.

Then yesterday, our sharing Saturday was returned in spades. The friend whose tomato plants had withered dropped by, bringing treats for the children. When I got the mail, another friend had fashioned a home-made card decorated with pepper and tomato shapes and a lovely note. Later in the day, the telephone rang. "Do you eat fish?" came the voice of our neighbor across the street. Just back from a fishing trip, he had cleaned and filleted enough bluegill for his family and ours to have a fish fry.

At the end of the day, I though just how lucky we are to live among such good people. All it took was a little effort, a small act of sharing, to renew our connections. That's when I realized that our garden had grown not just vegetables, but friends.

BlogCatalog Blog Spotlight: We are THAT Family ... you know the ones

2009-09-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

As some of you may (or may not) know, I have been an active member over at BlogCatalog since I started blogging. It has been a great place to learn about the art and craft of blogging, to have technical questions answered with precision, and to enjoy a diverse and colorful group of bloggers from every blog genre and practically every country, too.

Recently, I was asked to help BC add an additional Member Benefit -- weekly Blog Spotlight pieces on great blogs and bloggers in the Family and Home & Garden sections of the directory.

So, today, I'm proud to announce my first Spotlight piece and to introduce you to Kristen Welch, author of We are THAT Family... you know the ones. If you enjoy clever writing, you are sure to enjoy Kristen's humorous take on her family's (mis)adventures. She also has very thoughtful pieces on blogging and online community. So, her blog is absolutely worth a visit.

If you haven't joined BlogCatalog yet, I wholeheartedly recommend it. It has a great (and growing) group of Family and Parenting bloggers who are truly worth knowing.

- Midwest Mom

Unanswerable Questions

2009-09-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know why laundry and dirty dishes seem to self-generate? Do they breed in the dark? Is there something I should be feeding them or should I walk them every day to keep them trim, wet-nosed and shiny-coated?

And why must my daughter have an urgent need for a bathroom when we're halfway home from school -- every day? Could it be something about passing the bus station? or the Library? Is the Post Office a bladder activator?

Is there a reason my husband invariably chooses as his snack something I've prepared for supper? Does he have supper-preparation mind-reading capabilities I know nothing about? Isn't there some kind of E.S.P. disclosure clause in the marriage contract?

And why do I seem completely incapable of saying 'No' when someone from school approaches me with a project? Why am I not earning a paycheck from there?? I spend more time there than anywhere else I can think of. Even Walmart.

Does everyone think their own kids are the cutest in the world? Even when they're barfing or annoying each other or jockeying to be first in line for something? Even when they say things like "he got a bigger scoop of ice cream than I did! No fair!" Because I think that is just *precious.* Okay, not really.

Did I mention the laundry is piling up? And is there a reason why I repeat myself all the time? Could it have something to do with having to ask my kids to put on their shoes 5 times before school?? Did I mention the laundry is piling up?

-sigh-

I guess there are some answers no Mom is meant to discover. Even me. Or maybe especially me.

But if you have a compelling answer to any of these ridiculous questions, I'd love to hear from you. Truly.

In the meantime... did I mention the laundry is piling -- I did?

Oh.

- Midwest Mom

Salad Days

2009-09-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'm always a bit torn during late summer. My mind knows that my plants are done growing, and that they are spending their last bits of strength to produce fruit, filled with seeds that are their next generation. I've nurtured them for months, so as I garden, the prevailing feeling is bittersweet.

My family, however, has no sympathy for my garden's last days. All they care about is our table full of freshly-picked vegetables. My daughter greedily gobbles a handful of tiny yellow cherry tomatoes. My husband will eat as many red peppers as I can pick. My sons barely let me wash the dirt from our garden carrots before crunching them like little vegetable-eating monsters.

And then there is me. I am overcome by the heaping bowls of colorful salad -- by the herbs, pungent and plentiful. I put out of my mind thoughts of my withering plants, their leaves turning to yellow and brown from the chill of autumn. My eyes drink in the green and red and orange of fresh produce. I think of the purple eggplants still to come, and the pumpkins and squash almost ready to come out of our neighbor's garden.

Hard to admit, but my mouth starts to water. And just as an apt garden eulogy comes to mind, I hear my own voice utter, as if from a distance, "Please...

"...pass the dressing."

- Midwest Mom

Birthday Girl turns 4

2009-09-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

My only daughter turns 4 today, and I awoke with the thought that four years ago my alarm clock was replaced by a nice, strong contraction. The thought made me realize just how far we've come since then.

When I look at my daughter now, I see a child brimming with personality and confidence. She amazes me every day.

She has a remarkable sense of humor, sometimes deadpan but mostly just silly. Last night at dinner, she entertained us by making fake bird calls to imitate the sounds we heard through our open kitchen window. The bird calls themselves were not nearly as hilarious as the fact that she was cracking her self up by making them.

On Tuesday, she learned to read her first word. It was 'No' by the way. Now every car ride is punctuated by her exclamations of "I just saw 'No' again!" (Maybe I need to teach her word #2.)

She is a beautiful child and a considerate friend. I love watching her play with other children (when she doesn't realize I'm looking.) She has an amazing imagination. Yesterday, while my oldest was at soccer practice, I watched her and my first grader invent a pantomime bakery. She stirred, cooked, and cut the bread. He loaded the pantomime truck and made deliveries. They played like there was no one else in the whole world but them... and their bakery.

I want to remember my daughter as she is right now, this very moment. This is a great age for her, as she works so hard to do everything 'all by herself.' But that tiny hand that slips into mine when we're in a crowd and that little voice that sang 'Happy Birthday Dear Mommy' right after I sang her awake this morning show me she still needs her Mommy. We are such dear friends in this time and place.

I just want to savor it and thank God in Heaven for giving me the gift of this beautiful girl for my very own.

- Midwest Mom

If I had more time...

2009-09-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

Beware the barrenness of a busy life. ~Socrates

Goodness! Our lives are so busy lately!

Between school and sports and taking care of the family, I don't feel like I have a moment to spare. Even after a big meeting or presentation or the completion of a big event, I don't have that sense of relief I'm used to. You know, the 'whew! Glad that's done!' sense of satisfaction that comes with a side order of 'now I can sit back and relax awhile.'

So, I've been thinking about what I would do with a little relaxation time.... if I had any. This is what I've come up with:

1. Exercise - I miss the days when I used to make time for exercise a few days a week. It was wonderful to have a little time that was my own -- time for self-care. When I was exercising, I felt healthier, stronger, sexier. I miss it.

2. Cultivate friendships - Mothers of toddlers are so good at fostering friendships, eager to cling to any passerby for a snatch of adult conversation. Now that my kids are in school, I find that my old girlfriends (and even family members) have scattered because of our very busy schedules. So, I'm wishing I had the time to tend my friendships better, to feel closer to the people I care about.

3. Read - At one time in my life, I was a voracious reader. I can still get caught up in a book, when I make time for it. Recently, in an effort to renew my library reading list, I started a discussion on BlogCatalog about Favorite Classic Novels. The lists that other bloggers contributed helped me to remember the wonderful wealth of literature I haven't been making the time to experience. If I had time, I would definitely use it to read.

4. Get Outdoors - It is sad to say that I have not camped once this year. And I miss it terribly. Now that fall is upon us, I know I only have a limited time to get outside and enjoy hiking and camping before a) I am in danger of being shot by a deer hunter, or b) I freeze my bejeebers off. So if and when I ~~have~~ make time, I'm definitely going to spend it outdoors.

5. Go to a High School Football Game - You might know that I am a crazy sports nut. But I have yet to go to a High School Football Game in my current town. How is that possible? - I ask myself. I have no idea. We are family friends with the coach's family. And I love football. I just need to make the time to get out there and go to a game. It's something I would love to share with my sons.

6. Rest - There is nothing so wonderful as an occasional rest. Being free from the demands of a busy life helps me to think deeper thoughts and to appreciate my family and the world around me. I smile more naturally and laugh more heartily. I find adventures. I wonder about things. A rested me is a healthier me and a happier me. So, soon I will make time again for rest.

In a week, my children will be home from school for their 3-week Fall break. It's amazing to think that I'm looking forward to that time as a release from feeling busy. But maybe it's not the number of things I'm doing, but the rigid time pressure of it all that has me bothered. I am looking forward to the lack of alarm clocks and the ability to play outside after dinner. I can't wait to acquiesce when my children ask for one more story at bedtime. We will eat when we are hungry and sleep when we are tired.

It will be a second summer, but chillier and more colorful.

When Fall vacation comes, I will finally have and make the time to do these things I'm wishing for.

Quite honestly, it can't come soon enough.

- Midwest Mom

Shifting Gears: From Discipline to Self-Discipline

2009-09-09T08:07:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation with my husband today. He remarked that my parenting is changing in an interesting way. I said I hadn't noticed. In truth, maybe I have.

When I first became a parent, a trusted older friend who had already raised her children gave me a book by T. Berry Brazelton called Touchpoints. I loved the book's approach to varying child temperaments and its description of developmental stages. But what I took special pains to implement was Brazelton's approach to child discipline. The goal of discipline, as I understood his explanation, was to lead a child to self-discipline. That is to say, to give a child tools to operate successfully in the world and to own his or her own decision-making in a conscious way.

When I was growing up (sorry, Mom and Dad) the only goals of discipline that I could discern were maintaining order and showing who was in charge.

I will admit, there was a learning curve for me. As a young mother I lost my cool more than once. There were times that I had to stop myself from reacting to a situation or an undesirable behavior just to show I was still the boss. But, I have learned to be more detached and to understand my children's choices as exactly that -- their choices.

Fast forward to today's conversation. My husband observed that I have been giving my oldest child a "longer leash" when it comes to his temper. He has been easily frustrated lately, and sometimes it seems that his emotions are bubbling just beneath the surface, ready to burst out at a moment's notice.

Experience tells me that heightened emotions are par for the course during the first part of the school year. Schedules are changing and so are relationships. With so much up in the air in my children's lives, it's no wonder that they choose home as their safe place to let their emotions fly.

But in a way, I can see my husband's point. I have been shifting gears on discipline with our oldest. Maybe I'm waiting for him to find his feet on his own. Maybe I'm hoping that the ever-elusive self-discipline will kick in. Maybe I understand that I can't muscle him into a place where he has full emotional control at all times.

I'm not even in that place yet.

I explained as much to my husband. And he gave me a raised-eyebrow look of appreciation. "You may be right," he admitted. "Let's just wait and be supportive."

So now we wait and help and express our confidence in our son. I'm hoping this year will be an important one for him -- a time he'll look back at and recognize that his parents started giving him more responsibility and more credit for making his own choices.

I suppose we'll see if this was the right time to shift gears.

- Midwest Mom

Can you Teach Grace?

2009-09-01T06:46:00.000-07:00

I have been raising children for eight years now. Through every age and phase my children have undergone, I have struggled to teach them grace and politeness. To me, they're not exactly the same thing, and I've found I need to continually adjust my teaching to suit each child's age and temperament.

Grace can mean charm or beauty of form, a pleasing or attractive quality, or good will. It can also indicate moral strength. For me, a person has grace who is capable of being circumspect in a difficult situation and acting in the way that is best for all involved. There is a certain element of elegant benevolence to a graceful person, like Cary Grant in an old movie.

Grace is something I aspire to have, and sometimes succeed, when a quick temper doesn't get in my way. It is a quality my mother has and other, more long-lived, much-loved relatives have possessed. It is also something I would love to foster in my children.

Good manners, on the other hand, is simply appropriate behavior in a variety of situations. It is knowing what is expected in a certain situation and doing it. Teaching good manners can involve teaching good behavior at the table, how to handle introductions in social situations, special words like please and thank you, and how to avoid offending others.

Because manners are concrete behaviors, they are easy to teach and relatively easy to model. (Even though we all slip up once in a while.) But, I find grace to be a much more difficult quality to encourage in my children. Maybe that's because I can model all the graceful behavior I can muster, but ultimately my child is in charge of how he or she reacts to a given situation.

Recently, our family read a truly appealing chapter book called Gone-Away Lake. It's an older book, but we simply loved it. The main characters are children who explore through the woods and meet a pair of very graceful older friends, Pindar and Minnehaha, who live as hermits in a dilapidated resort community. As the children spend their summer listening to the pair's stories from long ago, they begin to adopt some of the graceful mannerisms and behaviors of their elder hosts at Gone-Away Lake.

The book makes me wonder whether the best way for children to learn grace is simply to be around people who possess that quality. I have tried to make time for my own children to spend with the oldest generation of our family, with great grandparents, and great, great uncles and aunts. Last year, we spent time with my Great Aunt Eleanor, who passed away a few weeks ago at age 98. This summer, we made time to spend with my own grandmother, who in turn passed away a couple of weeks after our visit. While I'm glad I could share these much-loved relatives with my children (and share my children with them, too), their passing makes me realize how vital it is to make every moment count as I raise my family, especially when I want my kids to absorb the lessons and experience our oldest generation provides.

Now that they're gone, I wonder what examples of charming, elegant grace remain?

So, here is my question to you readers. How do you teach grace? Do you think it is something that comes from within? Or do you make opportunities for you children to 'absorb' good qualities from the graceful people in your life? Where else might I look for examples to enrich my children's understanding of graceful living?

- Midwest Mom

Worms in the Fridge

2009-08-31T14:08:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that some of the realities of marriage and motherhood aren't exactly what you would've expected??

I think I may have bemoaned the worms in the fridge before... it's one of those little things that are a part of being married to my fisherman husband that I have to put up with. Honestly, though, the positives of my marriage (especially when he comes home with fresh fish for our supper) far outweigh the revulsion I feel at the wriggling contents of that little green styrofoam container I force myself to ignore whenever I'm hunting up supper ingredients. So, I overlook it ~~(but not really)~~.

But, there are other things about motherhood that really aren't my cup of tea. One is the ever-growing list of 'rules' I have to follow now that my boys are growing older. I can't kiss them or tell them 'I love you' in public because it makes them feel uncomfortable. (Fortunately for me, affection is okay at home.) I try to accommodate their quirky disdain for motherly PDA, but honestly... I hate it. And every so often, I slip up. Last year, on the last day of school, I unthinkingly kissed my oldest son on the top of his head as I left the classroom and said, "see you later on, honey." His ears blazed bright red and I knew I'd embarrassed him. Oh, well. (What can I say? I love the kid.)

Now, I'm in the strange situation of having to back off from sports, something I've always shared with my oldest, because as he grows older (and lets face it, as his skills improve) he's outgrowing his mother's ability. It's hard for me, because I want him to outgrow me -- especially in his areas of talent.

But, I'm just no good at being a sideline parent.

So, today, he's asking me to come outside to play soccer with him. Like a good mom, I'll strap on the sneakers and head out. It's fun to get out there and play a little, something I'm still allowed to do when no one is watching. But it will make it tough tomorrow, when he goes to practice and I'll be expected to fade into the background.

I'm already missing the days when he'd turn to me for approval when he made a great play. But, now it's all about Dad and coach. It makes a mom feel a little lonely.

I don't mean to wallow or anything. I mean, I'm happy that the boys are independent and strong. After all, that's what I'm raising them to be. But, just like no one can tell you how much your love for your newborn infant will overwhelm you, nothing prepares you for the times in your child's life when you will be made to feel extraneous.

sigh

I guess life is change. And my oldest, especially, is growing up.

So this Midwest Mom had better just take a deep breath and get used to it...

... just like the worms in the fridge.

- Midwest Mom

Our Family's Back to School

2009-08-20T07:06:00.001-07:00

Midwest Moms and family have gone back to school!

For the boys, that means new teachers, old friends, library books, uniforms, and homework.

For my daughter, it means a giant leap into a world she's only ever seen from the outside.

Diving into preschool has been a great adventure for her, and she's enjoying it so much that she complains on non-school mornings that she wants to go. Her favorite things about preschool? Friends, of course. And singing. I have heard her version of "Going on a Bear Hunt" about 734 times now. She also loves learning numbers, colors, letters and shapes. I love watching her grow in this amazing new way.

There is some breaking news, though. Now Mom may be going back to school, too.

Last year, my family had a huge decision to make about whether to keep our oldest son at his current school or to send him to a special program for children identified as 'gifted.'

We investigated the new program and asked a lot of questions. We talked to our son's teacher and the principal of his school. In the end, we made the decision that best suited the needs of our family, and my son's needs as a whole person.

We kept him in his same school, but expressed an interest in providing some supplemental programs to keep the 'gifted' part of his brain engaged and challenged. As his mother and an active volunteer at school, I offered to shoulder as much of that responsibility as I could.

So, I started investigating Odyssey of the Mind. It's a creative problem solving club for students in grades 3 through college. In it, members work on long-term challenges in which they have to create a performance, build a structure, or design a vehicle. In the spring, they bring their projects to a State competition, where they can meet students from other schools and test their creations before a panel of judges. The students also work on spontaneous problem solving, in which they are given extra points for cleverness or good humor.

It's a great program. I thought, "I'd love to have this at our school."

So, guess what? Yesterday, I presented a proposal to our elementary school staff to make it happen.

I was surprised at how nervous I was to be talking to a group of teachers like that. It was like I was automatically transported back in time to 7 years old, getting up in front of the class for my first book report ever -- nerve-wracking! That is, until my son's first grade teacher gave me an almost imperceptible nod and wink... For some reason, that shot me back into reality and I was fine. -- Thanks, Mrs. H!

At the end of my presentation, I gave the teachers a chance to play one of the spontaneous problem solving games the kids use in the program. It was good to see them having fun with the problem and each other. Maybe it made my idea seem more real. All I know was that I left the room to smiles and chatter, and it felt good.

This morning, when I dropped off my boys at school, teachers talked to me who haven't said a word to me before. That felt good, too... like making new friends. It made me feel hopeful.

So, I guess Back to School has been fun for more than just the children in our family. So far, it's been a growing experience for all of us -- even Mom.

- Midwest Mom

More to do with Tomatoes

2009-08-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

Every year, I give a good bit of produce away to neighbors and friends, and always lots to family. They each have their favorites, whether it's cherry tomatoes, peppers, herbs or cucumbers. But this year, I gave away about twenty-five baby tomato plants to my husband's family. So, what I'm finding is that they're not as eager to receive my generous tomato deliveries as they've been in the past.

One of my commenters last week had a terrific idea about what to do with extra tomatoes. She suggested calling a local food pantry or soup kitchen to offer produce to them. What a terrific idea! As a matter of fact, that is a perfect option for any "bonanza" produce that happens to be coming out of your garden right now.

You can also try calling your child's school. Our school won a health grant last year to provide fresh fruits and vegetables as classroom snacks. So, each child walked in on the first day of school and found a shiny red apple on his or her desk. Offering excess tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, or carrots to your child's teacher as part of a healthy eating lesson is a great idea.

If you want to preserve some of your tomatoes for use during the winter months, though, freezing is an easy option. It's what I do, and it's not difficult. I prefer to freeze them whole, so that I can decide how to use them later on.

To freeze whole tomatoes, start by washing them. Boil a large pot of water and drop 8-10 tomatoes (I use Roma tomatoes) into the boiling water for 2 minutes. Lift them out with a slotted spoon and lay them on paper towels to cool. Once they are cool enough to handle, use a paring knife to gently remove the skin. Store in an airtight container or freezer bag and place in the freezer. They will keep for up to 1 year.

I use mine in soups and stews, and for large, bubbling pots of chili in the wintertime. As promised, here are a few more recipes -- this time, they're recipes you can use for your frozen produce. Enjoy them!

Julia's Chicken Cacciatore
Joe's Gold Medal Chili
NanaJane's Minestrone Soup

- Midwest Mom

What to do with All Those Tomatoes

2009-08-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

The warm weather is here and that means two things: swimming season and tomatoes.

We've got the swimming under control this year. But every year, I scramble to figure out what to do with the tomatoes that fill and re-fill every container imaginable every time I make my way into the garden.

I have some tried and true recipes I make for my family. I make salads and sauces that warm my tomato-loving heart. But there's no way I can cook at the rate my tomato plants produce fruit. This year, in my wisdom, I planted about a dozen each of cherry and Roma tomatoes. And they're going like gangbusters.

If you're in my boat, here are a few of my favorite recipes. They may help you tread water a bit until you're happily overwhelmed by the harvest.

Julia's Greek Tomato Salad
Erin's Mediterranean Pasta Salad
Fresh Tomato Salsa
Broiled Tomatoes with Herbs
Cucumber-Dill Salad
Joe's Black Bean Salad
Summer Squash Salad

I hope you'll give one or more of these a try. You'll find there are plenty of ways to enjoy your tomatoes without getting bored.

Later in the week, I'll write a little about cooking with them, with recipes for soups and stews, and preserving what you're pulling from the garden now so you can enjoy your harvest during the winter months.

Until then, Midwest Moms is headed back to the garden. I think I spy about fifty-seven more tomatoes coming ripe since this morning!

- Midwest Mom

Guilt

2009-08-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, what a morning.

Somehow, I managed to upset all three of my children at one time or another this morning before school.

What is it about the transition from the easy summer mornings of pajama playtime and breakfast by 9:00 a.m. to the hustle of the 6:30 alarm, uniforms, bookbags, packed lunches, and tardy slips that turns me from the fairy-godmother-mom to wicked-stepmother-mom?

On school days, my children call my hairspray "grouch spray". It was true this morning. They all agreed I was a grouch, first class.

Thank goodness for their Dad, though. At breakfast, he made sure to give each child a hug and kiss and tell them how nice they looked. He brought a smile to their faces.

I wondered whether he was playing good cop-bad cop. Or good-parent bad-parent. I was conscious of the fact that I could have crabbed at him, too, for showing me up. In the end, though, I didn't mind. At least one of us had his priorities right this morning.

I spent a little quiet time on the way to school, thinking gloomily about missing them while they were gone. And I regretted being grouchy as a means to get them out the door on time.

I did my best to make it up to my boys by leaving them with an extra hug and kiss. They left the car with smiles on their faces, but it didn't help the feeling I have that I wasn't fair to them this morning.

I guess that's the reality of motherhood. Sometimes things don't go according to plan. Sometimes, I'm not the ideal parent I hope to be. I make mistakes; I'm impatient or crabby or hot-headed. And afterward, I feel guilty.

So, this afternoon, when the boys come home, I'll take the time to apologize. And I'll try to make the evening as positive and nurturing as I can.

At the end of the day, I hope that's the part they'll remember.

- Midwest Mom

Glad to be Back

2009-08-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

What an ideal summer it's been.

I've traveled alone and with family. To family. From Family. Between families. You get the picture.

We swam in rivers and the Atlantic, and we kayaked for the first time. The boys are fully swimming on their own now, and Primo passed his deep-end-of-the-pool swim test two weeks ago.

As promised, we feasted on shellfish on the Maryland Shore and braved the crowds to see Fourth of July fireworks in Washington, DC. We watched the sunset and moonrise from a rooftop in Philly, and shared cotton candy as a gesture of peace after bashing each other to bits on bumper cars in Maine. I loved every minute.

Best of all, though, I loved clearing the schedule to enjoy my children -- playing with them, listening to them, learning from them. They have such unique perspectives on the world around them. If I weren't paying attention, I'd have missed them.

During this summer of travel, I've learned a few things, too.

I've learned that,

You shouldn't serve refried beans the night before you fly to Cleveland... Turbulence.
One of the most supportive and meaningful statements you can hear from a brother is, "Hey! I just subscribed to your blog on my Kindle!"
The world is changing faster than I thought. After listening to a relative describe a botched home improvement job, I heard my mother reply, "You know, whenever I don't know how to do something, I just google it."
Saying goodbye is never easy.
When swimming in Maine, no matter the season, just run for the water and jump all the way in. If you take the time to process just how cold that water actually is, you'll never do it.
In a pinch, a Dad really can make a fantastic Mom.
I will miss my Grandmother's laugh most of all.
I need to get over my youngest child starting preschool. She's ready for it, and she's in good hands. [repeats to self over and over again]
Airport food can be shockingly awful.
You can wait for 2 weeks for a handful of tomatoes to ripen, but leave the house for 2 days and you'll come home to a wheelbarrow full of them.
Primo has inherited a green thumb... maybe even two of them.
Nothing feels better than coming home.

It's good to be back. I can't wait to share another year of our life.

- Midwest Mom

Imagination and a Good Read

2009-06-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

What is the sound of a writer on vacation? One part sigh, one part stretch, twenty-seven parts hilarious laughter (that's the kids... at least partly).

As a little gift, here are some of my favorite parenting, gardening, and humor articles. I published them back when my blog had zero readership. So, if you come by while I'm away from the computer, enjoy them.

Then, imagine me sitting in my lawn chair with my feet in the inflatable kiddie pool as I don my shades and sip a Frozen Strawberry Margarita with my Mom friends while our kids go crazy in the backyard.

Or, alternately, you can imagine me setting out in the family truckster with Hubby and the kids to explore the wilds of the East -- the Shenandoah Mountains, the Maryland Shore, the City of Brotherly Love, the Farms of Connecticut, the White Mountains of New Hampshire, and the Rocky Shores of Maine, only to return exhausted and sunburnt, but with renewed closeness that comes from spending 601 hours in the car together with nothing but country stations on the radio (Okay... that's only in Indiana).

Or, you could imagine me helping my sons fulfill a summer adventure wish with a day at a waterpark where they have the courage to go on the biggest, fastest, most watery of the waterslides! (And I hope your imagination photoshops my face onto the body of Cindy Crawford... for the sake of -ahem- accuracy.)

However you imagine me, though, please imagine me with a smile on my face.

There's nothing better than being a Mom, spending summer vacation with your family.

But if you get lonely for something fun to read, please consider one of these:

Gardening
Plants that Attract Butterflies
Going Green: Early July Vegetables

Tips & Tricks
Laundry Tip: Keeping White Clothes White
The Art of the Long Car Trip
Getting Ready for Kindergarten

Parenting
Separation Anxiety: We all have Clingons from Time to Time
On the Road to Raising Resilient Children
Can't We all Just Get Along? What to do when Children Fight
Chores or No Chores?
Time for Me: The Sisterhood of Moms

Humor/Our Life
I am Carnac, the Magnificent
Ants in My Pants
Giving Primo his Props
The Best Laid Plans of Elastigirl

I should be back in a bit. Until then, I hope all is well for you and yours. If you want to reach me, please email me at midwestmome@yahoo.com . I can't wait to hear from you.

Until next time!

All the best,

Julia (aka, Midwest Mom)

Summer Vacation Survival Guide

2009-06-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

Like most of the country, we are now on Summer vacation. It's a fun time to be a kid, but it can be a challenging time to be a parent.

Here are some tips to keep the schedule manageable and maximize your summer fun:

Make a Family Calendar: Try writing down weekly activities like dance rehearsal and wrestling practice, but also some of the fun activities you want to do regularly. Do you want to go to the pool a couple of times a week? Put it on the schedule. Write names next to the adults responsible for each activity. That way, Dad or Mom or Uncle Gerald become the go-to person to make the activity happen. Also include contact phone numbers for coaches, camps, or other contact people for each activity. Having all the info in a single place will make things easier when all doesn't go as planned.

Put Down-Time in the Schedule: While you're so busy writing down all the obligations, be sure to set aside time for family day or movie night. On Saturday afternoon, write "Mommy's Nap - Do Not Disturb." Claim your downtime. You deserve it.

Plan an Adventure: We like to have a conversation about adventure plans with our children at the beginning of the summer. We let them make one adventure wish that we work to make come true in the most creative way we can. One year, my 3 year old son's adventure wish was to ride a rocket to the Moon. So, we went to the Christa McAuliffe Planetarium while we were on vacation in New Hampshire. He got to ride a Space Shuttle simulator and touch moon rocks. The day ended with him sporting a planetarium T-shirt that said MOON and carrying a Curious George Rides a Rocket board book. Wish Granted.

Looking for an adventure activity? Try:

climbing walls
the zoo
the beach/tide pools
museums
botanical gardens (ours has a great butterfly house!)
the aquarium
petting zoos
farms/orchards
water parks
county/state fairs

Plan Outdoor Fun: I always laugh when I see my children ignoring 25 brightly colored plastic toys so they can play with rocks and sticks and mud. We try to spend outdoor time every day, just for them to have backyard adventures. But we also use hikes, canoe trips, and camping as a way to get away from the busy everyday and have peaceful time as a family. There is something wonderful about getting away from the phone and computer, the playstation and television, even electric light. We find it renews us.

Keep an Activity Bin: This is especially important for rainy days. Our art supplies, play doh, lacing/sewing games, and board games come out on days when going outside is not an option. I know many parents like to just give their children extra screen time on rainy days, but it's nice to have low-tech options that can help keep their minds active.

Encourage Pretend Play: Never throw away a big appliance box. Let your children make a sailing ship or a puppet theatre with it instead. It can be fun to give the kids space and supplies to create something of their own. If you support them through the planning stages and help with tools, you'll be surprised what they can come up with.

Keep Reading in the Game Plan: When I was growing up, our family used "Reading Hour" as our daily downtime. We went on a library trip every week or two and kept a ready supply of books available. After lunch, instead of naps, we had quiet reading time for 30-60 minutes. It kept our minds active and our imaginations engaged. Sometimes Mom would ask questions about what we were reading. It was always fun to talk to her about exciting stories.

Don't Leave School too far Behind: For my own children, I have added to the Reading Hour concept. I offer math workbooks and writing paper during down time. Surprisingly, they choose those activities about half the time. I also encourage my older children to keep a Summer Journal to write about their feelings and adventures. They even illustrate the stories in their journals. By the end of the summer, it really is stunning to see how many skills they have retained as a result.

Put your Kids to Work: If your children are too young for a summer job, they can still help around the house. We encourage ours to help with household chores like vacuuming, dusting, setting and clearing the table, cooking, and bathroom cleaning. They know that we are a family, and we are all responsible for keeping our home. So, just like we play as a team, we work as a team.

Maintain Friendships: Plan play dates with friends from school or trade babysitting with other moms. It can be fun to meet at the park or the pool and let your child's little herd of friends go wild while you stand on the sidelines to watch. Keeping in touch with friends can help your child not feel so isolated during the summer months, too. So, when summer ends and school begins again, their relationships are still strong.

Relax and Have Fun: It really is the key to a great summer. Do your best to let go and just enjoy being together. So, let go and laugh a lot. It feels great.

Good luck and have a wonderful summer! Today, we're off for a play day with my children's cousins. The weather will be HOT, so water play is a given. There's nothing quite like spending a hot day with cool fun.

p. s. -- When all else fails, bring out the Popsicles.

- Midwest Mom

Conquering Fear

2009-06-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

This was a big weekend for us. Each of the kids made huge progress conquering their fears at the swimming pool.

It all started Friday night. We went for our usual evening swim, only to find out that the pool was sponsoring a Flick & Float -- essentially a drive-in movie right at the pool with night swimming until 11 p.m.

I asked the pool director what movie they were showing. In one word, she became my sons' favorite person.

Transformers.

So, Friday night was spent swimming and cuddling in sweatshirts and beach towels to watch a great film.

But... back to the fear. As we were walking from our seats over to get into the shallow end, my three-year-old daughter was looking at her brother instead of watching her step. She walked right off the edge into the water.

I jumped in after her and pulled her out, but not before she had quite a shock. She cried more out of surprise than actual hurt, and as I comforted her, I stressed again that you have to watch where you're walking when you're near water!

When she calmed down, and the pool director was sitting near us making sure she was okay, I told her, "Congratulations! You just jumped into the pool for the first time!" Through the tears, she gave me a high-five.

What a trooper.

She was a little clingy afterward, but once we were back in the shallow end, she was too busy making friends with other girls to worry about clinging too much to me. I was relieved, but thought the jury's still out on whether or not fear of the water will kick in.

Saturday was a busy day with chores and church. Sunday, we were the host family for coffee and donuts for the parish, so I spent equal time serving people and making sure my children didn't gorge themselves on donuts.

As the weather turned hot, I pulled my husband aside. "Do we have time to go to the pool again this afternoon?" I asked. He smiled. Of course.

So, off we went for another evening swim. I held my breath as my daughter approached the water. Her brothers had struggled for years against water fear, but she was our little mermaid. The boys still only swam with a noodle or lazy river ring, even though they had the mechanics of swimming and floating down pat. I worried we would have the same struggle now with our daughter.

Then she smiled at me and jumped right in.

I was thrilled... And I wasn't the only one who noticed how brave she was. Her six year old brother told me he could jump in, too. (Although he never had before.) A minute later, there he went! So did my oldest. The boys and their sister spent the next hour climbing out and jumping in, with no worry about getting their faces wet or getting water up their noses. They just laughed and had fun.

Then came the real shocker.

My oldest came out of the pool to put his lazy river ring by our seats. "I'm going to swim without it." He said matter-of-factly.

He jumped in.

And he swam!

He didn't need any help or support. (Just an attentive audience and plenty of praise, which I was happy to provide.) I was so proud of him. Better yet, he was so proud of himself. He positively glowed with confidence.

He said to me, "Mom, I know why I couldn't swim before, but now I can.
F - E - A - R. I don't have it anymore."

"That's right," I said and returned his grin.

Check one fear off the list. My boy is growing up.

- Midwest Mom

Summer Means Letting Go

2009-06-11T08:57:00.000-07:00

Ahhh... Today was report card day, and now the school is quiet.

We had a terrific time with teachers and classmates. We brought bubbles to the kindergarten class and pinwheels to the 2nd grade. It was fun to see even the older kids get a kick out of something so simple. We brought cards to teachers and cherry pies as special thank you gifts. (We baked them last night!)

And when all was said and done, we left the school with smiles on our faces. (I think the teachers were smiling too.)

I was talking with another parent on our way out of school. She rolled her eyes when talking about her family's schedule -- they juggle dance lessons and two sports on opposite sides of town during the summer. She seemed stressed about it, but happy that at least her mornings would be free now.

The conversation made me feel so grateful that we've taken a season off from sports. This summer there is no baseball, and after next week there will be no dance class. We're not signing the kids up for sports camps or College for Kids or anything like that.

They just get to be kids. And I just get to be Mom.

-sigh-

It was a relief to drive home and know that the only thing we have to worry about is whether the weather will be nice enough to go to the pool. Summer is freedom from the schedule, so the kids will sleep when they're tired and eat when they're hungry.

They're all sitting behind me right now, working at the art table -- taking time to be quietly creative. Why? It's just what they want to do.

They're letting go of the busy feeling. To me, that's what Summertime is all about.

- Midwest Mom

Tips for Easier Weeding

2009-06-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine pointed out yesterday that the downside of living in a place that anything can grow is that anything and everything does grow.

Even (and especially) weeds.

I weed my gardens by hand, without the use of chemicals. It's not as difficult as it may sound. I follow a few basic guidelines to make the job run smoothly. And somehow, I manage to have my flowers and vegetables remain the centerpieces of my garden -- not the weeds.

I have family members and neighbors who have questioned why I bother. I have two main reasons. First, weeds are resource thieves. They eat up the moisture and nutrients in the garden that other plants will absolutely need to grow their best. If allowed to grow, their root systems will entangle other plants' roots. Their leaves can eat up the sunlight and shadow other plants.

My second reason for weeding is aesthetic. I want my gardens to look tidy. For that reason, I will even keep sprawling perennials in check by treating them as weeds when they spread. My mother and mother in law are always aghast when they see me with a handful of rudbeckia or moneywort that I've pulled out of the garden. When I can, I make room for useful plants in another area of the yard. But when it comes to keeping order, I confess to being a bit ruthless.

Experience has taught me (as have plentiful garden mistakes) what makes for effective weeding. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you put order to your plot.

Educate yourself. - Know what kinds of plants you are dealing with before you start pulling willy-nilly. A great resource is Newcomb's Wildflower Guide. I also use the online weed index from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Check with your own state university or university extension to see what resources exist for your own area. If you know what you're dealing with, it can be easier to avoid potential mistakes.

Be selective. - Spend time evaluating whether or not a weed will do damage. Sometimes, native plants can be attractive additions to your garden. In our first home, my husband and I spent hours digging sweet violets out of the yard. We wanted them to have their own area and for the lawn to be just grass. My first garden sage, a neighbor named Janet, asked us what on earth we were doing. "I love having the violets in the grass. They're green, too -- what does it matter if they're not grass? Besides, if you wait until Spring, they'll turn the whole yard lavender. It's beautiful." We listened to her wise advice and have never looked back. Now, our springtime "lawn" is a carpet of purple. We love it.

When in doubt, wait. - If you're not sure what something is, just let it grow a bit. You have until the plant sets seed to pull it. Sometimes, you can discover some real beauties by just letting an interesting-looking plant grow.

Wear gloves. - I am usually an ungloved gardener. I like the feel of soil in my hands. But when I am weeding, particularly if there might be weeds I don't recognize at first, I do wear gloves. All it takes is your first case of poison ivy or your first spider bite to teach that lesson.

Wet the ground. - I spend time weeding immediately after it rains. The moisture softens up the ground and makes many weeds easier to pull, roots and all. If it hasn't rained in a while, I will choose an area to weed and shower it with the hose for a few minutes -- not enough to make mud pies, but just enough to loosen the soil.

Use tools. - My mother used to pull dandelions with a long tool that looked like a giant screwdriver. I opt for a narrow hand trowel. I carry it with me, plunge it into the dirt next to a stubborn weed and pry upward slightly. With the soil loosened, taproots are easy to pull. Once the weed is out, I heel the soil back down smooth. For soil that is already light and loose, try using a hoe. Turn the corner down and scrape, digging the earth a you go. Pick weeds from the surface of the area you've worked, and use the hoe again to level and smooth the soil.

Be persistent. -- The more consistently you weed, the more you will stay ahead of what your garden needs. I take about 10 minutes each day, usually while the children are playing outside, to attack a section of the garden. By the end of the week, I've cleared quite a bit. And by the time I get the last bed weeded, I can start back at the first again.

Honestly, weeding no gardener's favorite chore. But, hopefully, if you keep ahead of things, your work will yield good results.

- Midwest Mom

Lots of Misc

2009-06-08T06:32:00.001-07:00

Have you ever read the garage sale section of the newspaper and seen the magic words people imagine will send loads of prospective buyers their way with fists full of cash?

Lots of Misc

It's at the end of every ad, and quite frankly, I find its meaning ambiguous at best. "Lots of Misc" could mean every piece of my grandmother's German china or it could mean seven bottles of my grandmother's Miss Breck hair color from 1968. You never know. Which is why I stay away from garage sales that just give an address and Lots of Misc.

With that said, today's post is a hodge-podge. It is miscellany at its best, so do your best to wade through. Hope you find something you like.

********

Have you ever noticed that in the Midwest, a man is not a man until he owns a riding lawn mower? And once he owns one, which he will call "the tractor" (although it is clearly not a tractor), he will find any opportunity to use it. He will spend hours of his precious Saturday mowing all five acres of his property to a precise 2.5 inches height. Not that he'll use the 5 acres. Not that he'll golf on it or chase his children on it. He just wants to have a ride on "the tractor".

With that said, Midwest men have a virtual age of 7 where tractors are involved.

********

Here's a unfortunate realization I've made during my last seven years here...

In the Midwest, there is nothing wrong with ending a sentence with a preposition. It makes my East Coast daughter-of-an-English-major's blood curdle to hear my Midwest friends and family ask for someone's location.

Where you at?

It has been spoken into Nextels and Blackberries thousands of times in my town alone, just this morning. I am fortunate that my husband is sensitive, in that he understands my revulsion for the phrase and tries not to use it. The rest of the population, however, is oblivious.

Though my skin crawls, my mind feels assaulted, my inner grammarian wants to shout, "Listen to yourselves!!" I suffer in silence.

But the moment it comes out of one of my children's mouths... I swear to you, I will declare war.

********

Now an admission: When my mother and I talk on the telephone, we inevitably compare garden notes. She always seems so impressed with the way my garden is progressing. But, honestly, I can't take credit for it. It's the soil and the weather.

Is it any wonder that Midwest farms are so productive? The soil where I live is as black as coal. I could grow a lollipop tree from a scrap of paper and a grain of sugar.

So, as much as I go on about my garden this and my garden that... I am keenly aware that my garden is as successful as it is only because of where I am, not necessarily what I do. What I do helps, to be sure... but the key to garden success is the same as the key to real estate success -- location, location, location.

********

This weekend I noticed some newcomers to our little plot. I was pulling alfalfa from the garden -- it had grown as tall as I am and was blocking the sunlight from the lance-leafed coreopsis just coming into bloom -- when I noticed a small, grey creature as small as one of my daughter's shoes. Our bunnies have had their babies.

They. Are. Darling.

I love that they have found a home in our wildflower garden (not our vegetable garden, like last year!) There is nothing as cute as watching a bunny chew on something -- even if it is your entire pea crop. Fortunately, thanks to the bunny hutch fencing we chose for our vegetable garden this year, we don't have to go through that again.

Also, my eye caught a flit of yellow as I looked out the window this morning. Our goldfinches are back. This year, I want to get a picture of them. Looks like I'll have to camp out for a while until they get comfortable with me... or until our sunflowers bloom. At current count, there will be 14 of them in the wildflower garden.

It's a good year to be a goldfinch.

********

A bit of news that is pressing on my mind today... I found out this weekend that one of my best friends back East was attacked by a man with a gun in broad daylight. Without going into detail about it, she is bruised but okay -- never underestimate the power of screaming your head off.

But if you're a praying person, please keep her in your prayers. She is feeling a good bit of fear right now.

********

Today, the kids have the day off. They go back to school Tuesday and Wednesday for Field Day and the last day of school. Then, we're off for the summer. Part of me can't wait for the schedule to ease up. But, part of me is ambivalent about the portion of our time that will be spent "adjusting" (i.e. bickering). Summer vacation is fun, but sometimes my children need some time to get used to sharing the same space.

The bigger they get, the smaller our house seems.

********

That's it for now. Hope there was something in there of interest.

If not, I'm sure I could dig up a couple of half-filled Avon perfume bottles, a pair of used Odor-eaters, or a paperweight shaped like a human heart.

I'll give you the lot of them... Got a nickel?

- Midwest Mom

No Battery Required: Toys for Summer Fun

2009-06-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

Today is the start of summer vacation for children in our neck of the woods. (My own children, on balanced calendar, have a week still to go. They're doing their best to keep a stiff upper lip about it.)

I thought a fun way to start the summer off -- before everyone resorts to their PlayStations and Wii consoles -- would be to give a list of our favorite summer toys. These ones are super-fun and don't require batteries!

Jump Ropes and Hula Hoops - great exercise!

Sports Balls - soccer, basketball, football are classic favorites

Baseball/T-ball Mitt, balls & tee - The backyard is a great place to teach the game.

Frisbees - A nice big field can make a game of Frisbee more athletic. Give yourself room to run.

Bubbles -- Giant bubble makers or bubble machines are really fun!

Magnifying glass and Bug catching container - for your little scientist

Big Wheels - There's nothing like that cool Big Wheel sound. We have our own neighborhood Big Wheel motorcycle gang -- the Ankle-biters.

Bikes - I remember whole summers where I only got off my bike to eat and sleep. We take family bike rides in the evening. They're a great way to cool off.

Roller Skates/Blades - Fisher-Price makes a great beginner skate that fits over a child's shoe.

Super-soaker - The key to a good water-fight is the element of surprise (and plenty of ammunition.)

Skateboard - Have plenty of band-aids on hand... and a helmet & pads don't hurt either.

Scooter - This is like skateboard, Jr. Still very fun.

Sidewalk chalk - Sometimes some quiet fun is in store. So keep a ready supply.

Beach Ball - A gentle alternative to hard core sports for little ones. There's something about how big it is that is extra fun.

Sprinkler - Splashy fun to cool you down (and water the lawn in the meantime...)

Inflatable Pool - Great for younger kids (and older ones when no one is looking.)

Baby carriage/Playhouse - Pretending to be a grown-up is so much more fun than actually being one.

Gardening tools & a place to dig - for the kid that likes to get dirty (what kid doesn't?)

Tonka Dump Truck or Loader - Rocks or a loose pile of dirt make these ten times more fun.

Shovels, Pails, and Sand toys - Oh... and some sand would be good.

Pinwheels & Kites - For those windy days. My kids put pinwheels on the front of their bikes, too.

Tennis Racket & balls - Summer is a great time to teach tennis. It gives Mom a workout as much as the kids.

Golf Clubs - You're never too young to learn, and trips with Dad to the driving range can be special time.

Many of these toys -- especially the sporting equipment -- may require that Mom or Dad do a little bit of teaching. But that's part of the fun.

So, get out there and have a great time. And if you have a favorite I've left off the list, add it in the comments! (And keep this list tacked to the fridge for when summer boredom strikes.)

Enjoy your summer break!

- Midwest Mom

Right Here in River City

2009-06-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!

~ "Ya Got Trouble" from The Music Man

Yesterday, we had our first visit to the community pool. The pool actually opened on Saturday, but as luck would have it the weather was cool and overcast. My husband got called in to work to boot.

So, Sunday it was. We packed up the beach bag and a cooler of snacks, noodles, goggles, and lazy river rings, and headed out the door for an afternoon of swimming.

It was fantastic.

The boys jumped right in and started swimming. It's the doggy paddle, but it worked for them. I think their goggles made them feel a lot more confident about whether they would survive getting water in their eyes. Plus, this year, they are taller than last, so they could explore the pool more confidently without feeling like they would get in over their heads.

There was one problem I hadn't anticipated, though. My Little Mermaid, who has always been the most comfortable of my three, started acting afraid of the water! I thought, "unbelievable! Just when the boys are finally finding their feet... this happens!"

I took her out a few times, usually against her will at first, and got her to kick and float on her back. We decided to buy a membership at the pool this year (they just opened a new Sprayground adjacent to it!) So, we'll be swimming our hearts out several times a week.

Hopefully, it will just take a little time, patience, and persistence to bring back the Little Mermaid's fins.

... if I don't turn into Ursula the Sea Witch first.

(Wish me luck. )

- Midwest Mom

Celebrating One Year of Midwest Moms

2009-05-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

These days, it seems like everyone is starting a Mommy blog -- that strange hybrid of family scrapbook, confessional, parenting manual, and late-night comedy routine.

We're a hundred thousand Erma Bombecks.

Who knows why we do it? I can answer only for myself.

I started Midwest Moms one year ago because I was the only one in my family raising children far from home. The transition from single life to married motherhood was one of the toughest life-altering transformations I have ever experienced. Through the highs and lows, after the tremendous the changes I underwent on the outside and the inside, I became stronger and tougher and more loving and patient than I ever thought I could be. Motherhood was like a trial by fire; it transformed me, not because I wanted it to... just because that's what becoming a Mom does to a woman. And once it did, once I was a Mom, I was surprised to find I had gained entry into an amazing sisterhood of strong women who had all undergone the same metamorphosis.

But motherhood is isolating work. It makes a grown woman spend the entire day speaking in two-word sentences, just to be understood. It turns a woman with a master's degree into a trained parrot, teaching her son or daughter to speak by repeating every phrase twice. It forces former professionals to resort to discussing the consistency of their little ones' diapers, the price of bananas, and how to get our whites whiter instead of using our time together to talk about the real challenges of mothering -- balancing love and discipline, raising responsible resilient children, fostering communication in the home, battling our need for appreciation with the reality that true appreciation most often comes only from our sisters in the trenches.

We don't talk about those things in the produce aisle. Or at PTA meetings.

We blog about them instead.

We blog to give a voice to our family journey, to document the challenges and the victories, if for no one but ourselves. In the process, we find friends we never knew we had -- women who live in other places, but who understand the people we are and were and hope to be. For me, blogging is a way to reach through the isolating work I do, to move past the everyday even as I write about it.

In the process of writing Midwest Moms, I have found a voice I didn't know I had, an outlet for my weird sense of humor, a way to convey my experience of the world. I find it hard to believe I've only been at it for a year -- it has become so much a part of who I am.

So, thank you for coming by Midwest Moms and sharing this strangely, surprisingly meaningful journey with me. I never could have imagined the past year of writing would be so, well, important. But it is. It continues to be.

Many thanks for a wonderful year.

- Midwest Mom

Tickled Pink

2009-05-27T02:54:00.000-07:00

My daughter is tickled pink. Can't you tell?

You see, we spent the weekend painting our garage. Well, not actually painting it per se. We scraped it and primed it.

Since we decided to change the color of the garage from it's original (stained and peeling) white to a darker, deeper red brown that matches our brickwork, the helpful man in the paint department suggested we tint the primer.

He dutifully plugged our chosen color name into his trusty paint-mixing computer, and out poured perfectly-measured amounts of red, brown, and black. He loaded the can of primer in the shaker. He warned us that the color would not come out as dark as our paint -- so there would be a contrast between coats.

Out of the paint shaker it came; our daughter couldn't have been more pleased.

We started to apply the primer, and just as we finished, the sky opened up. It rained and rained, preventing us from painting the much darker finish coat.

It's raining again today, much to my daughter's pleasure and my husband's chagrin.

Why? This is why.

All I can think of is Pepto Bismol and the fact that our neighbors may disown us.

But at least my daughter is happy. That has to count for something, right?

- Midwest Mom

Mom-Blogging Basics at BlogCatalog

2009-05-26T09:27:00.000-07:00

Some of you may know I'm a frequent participant over at BlogCatalog. There is a great (and varied) core group of bloggers there from whom I have learned a lot.

psst... If you're not listed there already, you should be.

At any rate, the bigwigs at BlogCatalog recently asked me to write a piece about Mom-blogging for them. I was honored to do it. It was fun to sit back and reflect about why I write and how and what I've learned from writing Midwest Moms. If you're interested, head on over and let me know what you think. I love thoughtful comments.

Have a great four-day week!

- Midwest Mom

Here Comes the Sun: Hints for Sun Safety

2009-05-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

A light wind swept over the corn, and all nature laughed in the sunshine.

~ Anne Bronte

We are an outdoor family. My husband and I took a stroll through the garden in the early morning light this morning, checking on the plants as mother hens fuss over their chicks.

The boys talked eagerly at breakfast of afternoon plans for a bike ride and water play at our local AMBUCS Sprayground.

Once the boys were off to school, my youngest wanted to ride her own bike up and down the sidewalk, an activity usually reserved for the heat of the day, now enjoyed with ten times the excitement because of her large shadow cast in the slanting rays of the rising sun.

Maybe we're a photosynthetic clan. But we do love to be out in the sunshine -- from its rising clear through to sunset.

It's the time of year I have to remind myself about sun safety. That first sunburn of the year can be painful -- best to avoid it altogether with a little prevention.

If you're headed out with your crew, these tips might save you a little hurt later on:

Keep your eye on the clock - The sun is strongest from 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Early morning and later afternoon sun are less damaging to the skin.

Stock up on Sunscreen - Did you know that your sunscreen has an expiration date? It is best to purchase sunscreen in small bottles that can be replaced frequently. We choose sunscreens with Sun Protection Factor [SPF] 15 or above. For fair-skinned children or babies, I have gone as high as 50. (To find out your lotion's sunburn protection, do this calculation: Average time to sunburn with no sunscreen X SPF factor = Average time of protection with sunscreen. So, if you usually burn in 10 minutes and use SPF 15, you should be protected for 150 minutes before burning.)

Reapply, reapply, reapply - The SPF calculation works only in the best of circumstances. Several factors can weaken your sun protection. Water, sweat, and rubbing skin on clothing are a few common ones. It's best to reapply sunscreen every hour, just to be sure it's doing its job, especially if you're going to be outside for hours on end.

Watch those tender places - Pay extra attention to protecting areas of the body prone to sunburn. Shoulders, cheeks and noses need extra protection. So do the tops of the ears (for boys with short hair or girls with ponytails) and the tops of the feet (when feet get sunburned -- ouch!)

Let clothes do the trick - Boys and girls can wear rash guards as a part of their swimsuits to protect their bodies from getting too much sun. Putting a hat on babies or older children can help shield their faces without having to douse them in SPF 700. Large t-shirts, hooded towels, or bathing suit cover-ups can be great ways to cover up when taking a break from the swimming pool.

Go easy on the eyes - Sunglasses are a summertime must. Most drug stores and department stores are starting to sell them right now. Be sure to check the tag -- it will tell you the UVA/UVB protection they will give your and your child's eyes.

Now... if I can just remember these tips myself! One of today's errands is to pack my 'beach bag' with all our supplies, so I'm ready to head out on a moment's notice. When the weather is this beautiful, it pays to be prepared. In it, I'll bring our sun care essentials, snacks, water, hand wipes, and a beach towel or two.

You can never be too ready to head out in the sunshine!

- Midwest Mom

When Mommy Gets Sick: Guidelines for Self-Care

2009-05-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

My family has been battling colds & flu (no swine flu, though - oink) for the last two weeks. I have dutifully played Dr. Mom, waking in the night to administer medicine, driving 40 minutes to our pediatrician's office as many times as is necessary, cooking special foods like homemade chicken soup, and keeping track of who is at which stage of illness at any given time.

But bad news came last night in the form of aches and exhaustion. Mommy has finally succumbed to the germs.

Like all moms, I am tempted to just medicate and plug on. But if the recent flu scare has taught us anything, it is that sick people should slow down instead of pushing it.

Why is that so tough for a mom? Or is it just me?

I remember years ago when I was growing up, my Mother got sick only very rarely. But what a time we had getting her to rest and take care of herself! She would continue cooking and cleaning and shuttling kids here and there, even though she felt awful. She had a home daycare, so she put tremendous pressure on herself -- she never wanted to let down the families who relied on her. Because she was a nurse (I'm told they make the worst patients...) she thought she could manage to care for everyone without spreading germs. She was a hand-washing fiend.

But while she was caring for everyone else, she kept forgetting to care for herself.

Several times, we had to force her to the doctor's office for antibiotics. She always claimed she was "on the mend" or "getting better". It was a load of hooey. She was diagnosed with 'walking pneumonia' more than once and ordered to rest. She agreed only reluctantly and because the doctor ordered her like a drill sergeant orders a new recruit.

I remember saying to myself, as I saw her suffering on the couch, that I would never drive myself to be so sick. And I helped my brothers and sisters and father care for her until she was healthy again.

Fast forward to last Fall. I found I wasn't so different from my mother after all. I got a cold that turned to a cough. I insisted repeatedly that it was improving. It wasn't. An x-ray showed that I had pneumonia. Just like Mom. I had a V-8 moment, a what is wrong with me? revelation.

I needed to take better care of myself.

So, now that I've succumbed to the family flu bug, I'm following a few rules that apply to everyone -- even Mommy.

When you're sick, stay in bed. Clear the schedule. Cancel your meetings. Bundle up and get extra rest.

Ask for and accept help. Rely on a friend to pick your children up at school. Order take-out for dinner or heat up leftovers instead of cooking. Ask your husband to put the children to bed or give them baths. Let your mother know you are ill and ask if she can pick up groceries for you when she goes to the store.

Drink, drink, drink. Dehydration is your enemy when you are under the weather. Flushing your system with fluids (one small glass per hour of clear liquid) can help your body to heal. It can also help keep fever in check. My beverage of choice today is chamomile tea with honey -- great on a tender throat.

Talk to your Doctor. Your doctor and you are on the same team. Sometimes it's good to remember that. You cooperate when it comes to caring for your children; do the same when you need to heal yourself. Keep track of your symptoms and communicate with your physician. Don't wait until until your fever reaches 104 degrees or until you're coughing so hard that you lose bladder control. Don't be stubborn about it -- you're not invincible.

When we take care of ourselves, especially when we're sick, we are modeling self-care for our children, too. It is comforting for kids to know that Mom and Dad are taking care of their health. Whether it's a cold or flu or something more serious, giving yourself the time to rest and recover and the medical attention you need is actually a remarkable gift to your children.

When I allow my children to see that I'm feeling sick, they often respond with care and compassion. My son will get me a blanket, unasked. My daughter will bring me a cuddly toy or a glass of water. They play more quietly, giving me time to heal. (Okay, okay... sometimes they need a little reminding on that one.) And in the end, when I am feeling myself again, they will welcome me back to the land of the living.

Sometimes Moms need a reminder that self-care is important. Paying attention to our own bodies and health is an important part of being the best Mom we can be.

So, I'm off to get a little rest. Hopefully, before long, I'll be feeling much, much better.

- Midwest Mom

Our Midwest Garden: First Fruits

2009-05-18T08:11:00.000-07:00

Attention, Parents! Herein lies the secret to your children eating their vegetables...

Have them grow their own.

This weekend marked our first garden harvest. What fun! I don't think I've seen Primo more proud than he was while eating lettuce and radishes grown from seeds he planted himself!

Lettuce is so easy to grow -- you can even sow the seeds in a flower box. Let your child water every day at first, then every other day. And when the seeds have sprouted and you need to thin the plants to let the lettuce grow healthy and large, serve your child a big plate of this:

Trust me, if your little one is anything like my oldest, he or she will eat like never before. When Grandma and Papa came by last night for supper, he even went into the garden to pick them one radish each. (And then stood by watching them eat and waiting for words of approval.)

On the way to school this morning, he said to me. "Thanks for teaching me to be a farmer, Mom. I think it's my talent!"

I thought, Maybe it is... maybe it really is.

- Midwest Mom

***********************
Looking for ways to get your child started helping in the garden? Check out Gardening with Kids: An Easy Guide at Midwest Parents. There's no better time than now to get gardening!

Laundry on the Line

2009-05-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

Drying clothes on the line is one of my favorite things about a return to warmer weather. There is nothing like the look and feel of clothes and linens that have dried in the sunshine. And the smell -- oh, it's wonderful.

Sure, there are drawbacks -- like having to run out and gather in the clothes in a sudden downpour. (But secretly, I enjoy being out in a summer rain, so even that isn't so bad.)

Another drawback is the time it takes. I have a clothes-tree in an unused corner of the yard. It holds two loads, so that's my maximum number of loads in a given day. (Which means no more marathon laundry sessions? Remind me of the downside of that again??)

The positives are easy to list. Pinning up the clothes gives you time outdoors, it keeps you in tune with the sounds of the birds and the feel of the fresh breeze blowing through the trees. Sunshine is free, unlike the gas and electricity it takes to run my clothes dryer. The time it takes to line-dry my clothes gives me time to reflect and think deep thoughts, to watch the children playing in the yard, to be grateful.

Of course, I imagine there are those who prefer the feel of machine-dried clothes and smell of fabric softener to fresh air. If you're concerned that your jeans or towels might not be as soft if they're dried on the line, try tumbling your clothes for 5-10 minutes before hanging them out. They will dry wrinkle-free and gorgeous. Or, you can give them a short tumble in the dryer after you take them down from the line to help the fibers in your towels, for instance, soften up. Either way, you're saving energy and money.

At our place, the return of line-dried laundry is the return of summer simplicity. We bike to the store instead of driving. We spend our days outdoors. We swim at the pool instead of dragging ourselves out the door to school every day. We grill out and visit with our neighbors on the sidewalk as our children ride their bikes up and down the street. We pull fresh produce from the garden. Lazy, simple summer days.

It all starts with the warmer weather and the clothes line. Now I find I'm checking the calendar and starting the end-of-the-school-year countdown.

Those easy summer days can't come soon enough.

- Midwest Mom

Dilly Dally: Tales of a Lady in Waiting

2009-05-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

My three-year-old is testing my patience.

Daily.

Okay, maybe it's hourly.

She must have been listening back in April when my mother came to visit. During a dinner table discussion of appropriate manners, my mother shared a bit of her family history with my brood. "When I was a child, my mother told us that my Grandmother's Grandmother was a Lady-in-Waiting for Queen Victoria."

I heard the Lady-in-Waiting story often when I was growing up. My daughter did not ask her Nana what exactly a Lady-in-Waiting was. But apparently she liked the sound of it so much that now waiting is all I ever seem to do. After all, there is a family tradition to uphold, right?

Sadly, my patience is not as boundless as it might be.

Here is a partial list of the tasks that cannot possibly be done in less than 30 minutes and without an elaborate cajoling ritual...

Choosing clothes/Getting dressed for the day: First we must have a "favorite colors" guessing game or a "guess what shirt I'm thinking of...?" game. Then comes the "I need you/I don't need you" tug-of-war.
Putting shoes on: Oh, and they're slip-ons, by the way. God help us when it's time for tie shoes. And we can't forget the issue of matching shoes to one's outfit. (Gah!)
Brushing teeth: She must brush, then I must brush. "First, count to 19," she will say before handing the brush to me as I slowly pull out my rapidly greying hair.
Getting into the car: Not getting to the car... just into it. She has to do a super-jump and climb into her car seat, smoothing the back of her shirt just so. Otherwise, she will spend the entire ride complaining that it "frickles."
Getting out of the car: Frickling is not a problem getting out. We are usually searching for a lost item before getting out -- a marble, barrette, or toy. Today it was a bit of plastic from a juice box straw wrapper. She's meticulous... I'll give her that.
Putting on a jacket: Here we fall victim to "I'll do it myself" syndrome. Even the zipper. It takes For-Ev-Er.
Choosing a book: I love to read to her, but often 20 minutes of looking will have her settling (finally) on a book with 6 pages.
Any meal: She just wants to talk to whomever is at the table. She's a social girl... that is, until dessert is served. Then she's full (except that she has room for dessert.)
Bedtime: Tonight I was kissed by no less than three dogs, two bears and a blankie. I then had to fight for a kiss from my daughter playing "you can't find me" under her bedsheet.

Let's face it, by the end of the day, I'm exhausted. My sweet, darling girl has figured out how to monopolize my time and attention as often as she can. I get exasperated with it, quite honestly. I wonder when she will ever just stop playing all the time.

And then I think, What Is Wrong With Me??

She's three. And playing your way through the day is what age three is all about. It's also about asserting your independence (which has issues of its own -- trust me.) But mostly, it's about operating on your own "schedule" and doing things in your own time.

Since the boys are so independent, I guess I had forgotten that.

And then something happened yesterday while I was planting my garden that made my parental hypocrisy meter top out. I was planting a bed of Basil when my daughter came up and asked me to play soccer. "After I'm done with these Basil plants," I told her. She waited. She made conversation. She made up a game to make the waiting go faster, which I played with her as I planted. Finally, she left for a few moments and returned.

"Are you ready to play now, Mommy?"

It hit me that I was "playing" in my garden while she patiently waited for me, doing whatever she could to spend time with me. (And also, I am an idiot for making her wait like that.)

So I stopped planting, and we had one heck of a backyard soccer game. Of course, she had to blow a whistle and say, "Argh, he's in the stretch, there's the pitch!" and pantomime a swing for the fences before every kickoff. (Apparently, she's a pirate baseball-playing soccer player??) We also had to establish before kickoff exactly who would be allowed to score the goal. And afterward, she would shout, "SCORE!" and do that breathy crowd noise thing. And despite my sham sorrow at losing yet another point to the masterful mistress of soccer, I did my best to hide my tears, extend my hand, and say, "good game." And then we'd start all over again.

We played for a long time, but it was fun, so that makes it time well spent. In the end it was my own little Lady-in-Waiting who taught me a lesson about patience and being considerate. And about making time to play.

I wonder what my daughter's Grandmother's Grandmother's Grandmother would think of that.

- Midwest Mom

It's Planting Time

2009-05-12T03:53:00.000-07:00

There are so many markers of the right time to plant in the Midwest. Some people mark the calendar to plant on Mother's Day or Memorial Day. Others measure the soil temperature to know when the optimal time will be.

I like to pay attention to my flowering plants. Because they respond to the moisture level, sunlight, and air temperature, I find them to be excellent indicators of the right time to plant.

This is where the garden is right now:

The peas, spinach, carrots, lettuce, and radishes I planted from seed in April are proceeding nicely. The peas are about 18 inches tall, and the lettuce is about a week away from harvest. The radishes are small, but we're checking weekly to prepare for harvesting them.

Blooming perennials abound in shades of purple. Until this week, I hadn't realized how many there were. In full bloom now are allium, meadow sage, dame's rocket, bluebells, Virginia bluebells, pansies, and violets. We also have plentiful blossoms on our red columbine and strawberry plants.

Ready, but not quite blooming are garden sage and clematis. I imagine they'll start within the week.

The weather has been dry for a few days, but we're expecting rain tomorrow. So, today is the day for planting my most tender (and prized) vegetables -- my tomatoes. I started them in seedling trays in early April, and they have several sets of leaves. I'll also plant my zinnia seedlings, basil, and pepper plants. Once they're in the ground, they are sure to take off.

I can't wait to get out in the sunshine and get digging. If I'm in the mood, I just might have the kids help me, too. Which reminds me -- today I've written a feature for Midwest Parents, Gardening with Kids: An Easy Guide. If you're getting ready to plant and want to find ways to involve your kids in the family garden, head on over for some great tips! (And please comment! I'm sure it will warm the hearts of the Midwest Parents crew to hear from you!)

Until tomorrow, hope you enjoy your garden. I know I will!

- Midwest Mom

The Deep Well of Motherhood

2009-05-07T06:55:00.001-07:00

What is the source of a Mother's courage? Of her strength? They come from somewhere deep inside all of us. They come from the care and support we give to each other. They exist without intention or recognition; we do what we do simply because we are Mothers.

When a new Mother is expecting, she waits and dreams about the future. She wonders and worries if her baby will be healthy and whether she will be any good at the monumental task of mothering. Facing feelings of fear and choosing to educate oneself in response are acts of courage, the first signs of what is to come. We watch every bite of food and drink that passes our lips, forgoing medicine because of its effect on the baby, shifting our focus from our self as one person to two as we metamorphose into Mothers. We are tested to relinquish control and to trust in new ways as our bodies grow and change.

Once our children are born, we grow with them, teaching and tending. Their victories make our hearts leap and their challenges gnaw at the pit of our stomachs. We carefully foster our child's sense of self, allowing her to experience the world in its variety. We learn to step aside, to allow our child to bask in success without having to share the spotlight. We learn to let go, to let our child fail or succeed all by himself, so that he can own his achievement. We pick up our little girl and dust her off and set her on her way again, knowing that in doing so we empower her to do the same for herself down the road. We listen, we advise, we enrich. It is the mission of Motherhood, our calling, our vocation.

At the beginning of the journey, the first test of our Mother's courage, we face the unknowns of labor and care for our newborn child. Sometimes, we face much more. My husband's cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer while her youngest son was in the womb. She delayed treatment until she could be assured her baby would be safe from its effects. Her son never knew his mother without cancer, and although her battle ended when he was only five years old, she would not have changed her decision to bring her vibrant, healthy boy into this world whole. That is bravery, sacrifice, strength.

Many Mothers dream of adopting and patiently wait, enduring the scrutiny of strangers and repeated disappointments so they can give a child a loving home. They nurture their adopted children in a way the circumstance of birth would have made otherwise impossible. Often, they rescue and give children who have been abused, mistreated, or neglected the gifts of acceptance and love. Adoptive mothers are courageous volunteers, displaying a brand of dedication all their own.

The courage of a mother can reveal itself in the face of loss, when we lose a child whom we have not even been blessed to know. Mothers don't like to talk about the pain of miscarriage, but it remains even years later. I can testify to the truth of that. But we do not let it beat us; we face that pain and move forward. After my own miscarriage, my spirit was crushed under the weight of a sadness so profound it is difficult to describe. In time, I became pregnant again and gave birth to my second son. I was so grateful for another chance, another child to love. He was my miracle. Only later did my husband admit that he considered the way I carried him and loved him and was renewed by him an act of courage. I never thought of it that way. I was just his Mother.

Mothers often have to hear life's most difficult truths from the mouth of a doctor. Our child may have Downs Syndrome or Autism; she has suffered a stroke; he has a seizure disorder. A doctor informs us that our daughter or son will not walk or talk or eat or learn the same way as other children. And though the truth of that shatters a part of every mother's dreams for her child, we gather ourselves up and move forward. We patiently teach, we become unpaid speech therapists and pediatric nurses. My sister spent seven years of her son's life sleeping on a chair in his hospital room and could put in an IV when no nurse on the floor could. Mothers can be the best, most courageous advocates and the foremost experts on their child's condition. Mothers of the sick are, to my mind, some of the most self-sacrificing courageous creatures ever created on this Earth. Yet, if you admire their endurance and strength, often they will shrug it off as nothing special. It is special.

Mothers give and derive strength from our networks of support. We help guide each other, we listen to each other, we appreciate each other. What is it about Mothers that makes it possible -- despite the chaotic nature of our own lives -- when another mom is in trouble, to respond without question? When my young nephew passed away, my girlfriends set aside their own schedules to cook for my husband and the boys, to babysit when needed, so I could fly across the country with my infant daughter for his funeral. Those girls, my fellow moms, were a part and source of my strength. They eased my burden and made it possible for me to comfort my sister, a mom facing what no mother should ever have to.

But even when the situation is not difficult, but everyday, Mothers are courageous. Single mothers bravely balance work and their child's care, never letting hard work or a hard life make them hard individuals. We need to recognize the difficulty of what single moms do, with little or no backup. It is, in my mind, superhuman.

Elderly mothers, our grandmothers, can face pain, illness, and loneliness while their children live their busy lives. We should honor them and support them. We should visit them and send them cards that say, THANK YOU for being the amazing woman you are. My own grandmother has a brilliant sense of humor and a full, throaty laugh. She is an artist and taught me how to cook. She is a vibrant woman who has lived a full, courageous life, surviving the Depression and war, loss of siblings, children, husband. She deserves honor and love and care.

And my own mother, who has so often faced trouble with a quiet, prayerful faith that leaves me in awe of her stillness, has a reserve that I will never possess -- a grace that should be cherished. Her three daughters are all mothers now, and she helps us and listens to us and guides us to make our best decisions. She takes care of her health meticulously, which takes some measure of inner strength. For a year, she has endured Graves Disease without allowing it to shatter her sense of purpose or self. She is my unwavering friend. She does not just have strength, she embodies it.

There is no Mom I know, no family I know, who has had an entirely easy life. That's not what life or Motherhood is or is meant to be. Instead, Motherhood contains unspeakable joys and the deepest sorrows. It tests the core of who we are. It defines us in many ways. It changes us.

When I am honest about my own mothering, I must admit that I fail as often as I succeed. I am not as patient as I should be. I am temperamental. Sometimes the effort to deal with a situation creatively proves too much for me. But no Mother is the perfect Mother. I believe learning from my failures is a part of the journey. Facing my weaknesses and trying to do better next time is a part of the process. Continually learning what I can to be a better parent, accepting that I sometimes need help, taking time to reset and recharge, all help me to be a better Mother -- not perfect, but better.

Sometimes, I have to dig down for the strength to begin again.

Fortunately for me, the well of Motherhood is deep. From it, I can draw strength and endurance and courage. From the example of the women around me, the other mothers who are a part of my life, I can find renewal.

Maybe that's why I am taking the time to appreciate the power and wonder and courage of Mothers and of Motherhood itself today. With Mother's Day on the horizon, it seems like the perfect time.

To my fellow Moms, I wish you warmth and joy and continued strength in the coming year. Thank you for all you do, and Happy Mother's Day.

- Midwest Mom

Mother's Day Gift Idea: How to Make Garden Stepping Stones

2009-05-05T05:29:00.000-07:00

Home-made stepping stones make the perfect Mother's Day gift. They are easy to personalize, fun to put together, and when done right they will last a good long time.

The first time I made stepping stones was about eight years ago. My mother placed a request with all her children's families. She wanted a stepping stone in her garden from each of her grandchildren for Mother's Day. At the time, my oldest child was still an infant. So my husband and I sat down to plan his stone for him.

My husband's job was to figure out the best concrete mix to use to survive frozen Northeast Winters. My job was to design the stone. I am a stained-glass artist and my workshop was filled with scraps and shards of colored glass. So, I made a mosaic ocean scene with seaweed and cute fish. My mother loved it.

Then, two years ago, we did a similar project for my Mother-in-law, who had recently built a shade garden. She has 10 grandchildren, so we gathered more kid-friendly supplies, had the Dads mix some cement, and spent Mother's Day at Grandma's house making stepping stones for her. She loved them, and the children love walking through her garden and seeing their creations.

For this project, you'll need the following items:

~ Portland Cement
~ Coarse Sand
~ Water

~ Transparent, light plastic planter drip trays (to use as molds.) You can find them at your local garden center in a variety of sizes. I like to use the largest size, 14 inches in diameter.

~ Colored glass beads or gems
~ Seashells
~ Polished rocks
~ Colored glass pieces (for mosaic designs)

Instructions:

1. First, Mix your Cement. (Here are some basic mixing instructions and the proportions of cement to sand to water.) Because the stepping stones should have a smooth appearance, we have avoided using gravel aggregate. Instead, we increase the proportion of sand in the mix to make the stepping stones resist cracking. Some hardware stores sell cement mix with embedded fibers in the mix. This can be a great option for those wanting to purchase a ready-made mix. [Note: Cement can burn skin with prolonged contact. Be sure to wear work gloves and appropriate clothing. This is no time to make a fashion statement.]

2. Next, arrange the circular mold on a level surface situated where you want the stepping stone to dry. The area you choose should be part-shaded and free from any sort of falling leaves or other tree debris. (So, not under the Maple tree!) Pour the cement into the mold, filling it right up to the top.

3. Gather your decorations and arrange them in a pretty design. You can make hand-prints or scratch a child's name into the stone, too. As the cement rests, water will rise to the surface. Gently press the decorations farther into the cement at this point, making sure that outer edges (especially anything sharp) is buried in the stone. If you're using beads, this extra pressure will bury them deeply enough to keep them from popping out as the stone wears.

4. Leave the stone undisturbed to dry for the length of time listed on the cement packaging. If you're planning to ship the stones to Mom, keep them in their tray-molds (like those pictured). If you're going to place them in your own garden, just gently flip the dried stone over and cut away the mold with a utility knife.

These are fun to make and are guaranteed to please the gardener in your family. They don't cost a lot to make, but trust me, Mom will think of you every time she looks at your stepping stone. Because it is a gift that lasts, garden stones will help Mom feel the love of her family every time she steps into the garden.

In my mind, that's a very good thing.

- Midwest Mom

My Simple Hopes for Mother's Day

2009-05-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

I don't consider myself to be a high-maintenance woman.

And yet...

When it comes to holidays like Mother's day, my uber-intelligent husband is usually stumped.

On the off-chance that he is a regular reader of Midwest Moms, I'm going to make things easy for him this year by listing my simple hopes for the day. And I'll bet dollars to doughnuts the price tag at the end will be within reach.

On Mother's Day, I want...

My husband to be the one who gets up and showers early so that he can help the children get dressed for church. I also want the luxury of an extra five minutes of silence in the shower, and of choosing only my own church clothes, not everyone else's.

To get family obligations (i.e. any visit or gift-giving or phone calls to my Mom or his Mom) done before noon. Afternoon and evening belong to me. I am hereby claiming them.

Home-made drawings from my children. Honestly, they are the best gifts the kids can give me, and I will never tire of getting them. Hallmark and American Greetings have absolutely nothing that will out-do my kids. (And I save every drawing, so you know I must love them!)

Time outdoors. If it's good weather, I want to be outside. So, if you're planning, plan to be out. (Hint: pack a bag with essentials, like sunscreen and drinks... It's what I would do.)

A clean kitchen at the end of the day (that I didn't clean!) I don't care if we eat every meal and snack out for the entire day or if we just use paper plates and napkins all day. I just don't want to wash a single dish on Mother's day -- or have a pile of them waiting for the day after.

A letter from the man I love. It doesn't have to be the great American novel, but it does have to help me feel appreciated for all the things I love to do for our family.

That's it. Pretty simple. I don't require diamonds or roses or a trip to Europe (although, if you're planning that, super!) I just want an easy day with my family with a few of the usual burdens lifted from my shoulders.

Now, isn't that easy?

- Midwest Mom

April Showers and Midwest Flowers

2009-04-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

Spring is a gorgeous time in a Midwest garden, especially when you have camera in hand.

The past week has been rainy and warm, perfect weather for everything that grows. We had a brief respite from the wet yesterday, so I took quiet time in my garden for renewal. I found that the greens were greener than ever and much of the garden had sprung into bloom. Every corner of the yard had a pleasant surprise.

There were fragrant lilacs, waving in the breeze ...

... and tulips galore.

The grassy places were filled with wild violets, giving the yard a purple cast.

And these petite beauties had even started peeking out from their hiding places.

But the most spectacular sight of the season was one we will have to remember in our minds alone -- one no gardener could have planned or planted.

During a warm spell on Sunday afternoon, we hiked a local nature area with my parents. Our trail overlooked the river, and as the river-view emerged from the trees, before us lay endless acres of bluebells. It looked as though a misty pale blue fog was descending upon the shoreline. Just inside the trees, blue morphed into pale pink mounds of Spring Beauties.

How I wished I had my camera, just to share the beauty of it. It was breathtaking. And we stood in silence, drinking it in, for quite a long time.

At long last we continued on, circling down to the rivers edge -- a place we often play during hikes in the summertime. The water level was higher than usual, so the rocky shoals were all but buried. We spied a northern water snake innocuously sunning itself, and left it alone to enjoy the warmth. The boys picked along the shoreline in their water shoes and rolled-up jeans, looking for fossil rocks while my daughter plunged into the shallows. We took care to explain the swifter, deeper Spring current, but increased caution could not hamper their explorer's spirit. Even in the shallows, we played our hearts out.

The family returned home exhausted and happy, with muddy pants and sunkissed faces. I thought, such is the wonder of Midwest Springtime. And my father remarked to me on what a beautiful home we have made here. The image of the field of bluebells, he said, will remain with him for a long time.

I feel the same way. There is no place on earth I would rather be.

- Midwest Mom

Compulsion Cleaning

2009-04-22T05:11:00.000-07:00

Moms agree: there are certain types of cleaning that qualify as compulsion. It can be a three-week-long Spring cleaning binge or weekly cleaning before the cleaning lady comes. I have a friend who used to clean like a fiend -- for the exterminator. As for me, my compulsion cleaning is the cleaning I do before my Mother comes to visit.

What am I afraid of?

Will she disown me if she looks under the love seat and finds the lonely remnant of the stinky sock fight my boys had last night?

Will she click her tongue in disapproval at the tiny hand prints of my three-year-old left from watching squirrels play outside our dining room window? Will she check for dust behind the refrigerator? Will she scowl at an unscoured bit of shower soap scum?

Does she walk through my home judging, running her glowing white gloves over every surface?

Of course not. But in case you're listening, SC Johnson, if you ran television ads with only the words

YOUR MOTHER IS COMING

and the music from Psycho, I would buy every product in your product line.

What is funny is that my Mom and I have a good relationship, and I look forward to her coming. She is my friend and my children's treasured grandmother. But while she is here, I live in fear that she will notice something that needs doing around our home and utter those four fateful words no mother wants any other woman to say in her home.

"Let me do it."

When Mom comes to visit, I work myself ragged just trying to beat her to whatever job catches her attention. After supper, there is practically a race for the job I despise the most -- washing the dishes.

In any other circumstance, I would bring flowers to someone who washed the dishes for me. I have been known to pay my oldest son a whopping dollar to do a big load of dishes. Today's true confession of motherhood is this: our supper dishes usually wait until morning to be done. At the end of my day there are just a thousand places I would rather spend my last reserves of energy. So, dishes get rinsed or scraped and neatly stacked, but I do not load the dishwasher or wash the pans until morning. Need proof?

Voila. Last night's dishes. Martha Stewart perfection I am not.

Maybe that's what I'm worried my mother will suddenly "discover." It's my horrid truth of mothering, that I would rather have a tickle fight with my kids after supper or sit and watch the news with my husband than tackle a pile of dishes.

I guess that's why for the next five days there will be a race from the supper table to see which woman can get the fastest case of dishpan hands. It's a pride thing.

I suppose it's something I should work on. Maybe I should be more accepting of help or give my mother more credit for understanding the stresses of raising my brood. After all, she raised six of us, so she's no stranger to the cluttered life of a mother with young children -- right?

Right.

So, I'm resolving to do better during this visit, here, publicly, on Midwest Moms. (She arrives tomorrow... have I mentioned it?) I will try to let go of small details and stop this compulsive cleaning behavior.

Yep. I'll get started on that...

... right after I clean the grout in the front hallway. Anybody got a toothbrush?

- Midwest Mom

Moms Gone Wild

2009-04-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

When the weatherman says it's going to be 70 and sunny mid-way through April, it's time for an impromptu girls day.

We're headed to the garden center. My daughter calls it the flower shop. We called her godmother on the spur of the moment and are taking advantage of the beautiful weather to do a little exploring.

I'm looking for hardy Spring-flowering shrubs that like acid soil. We have an area that just needs a little something extra to hide a nasty fence, and why not add color at the same time?

I'm hoping to find Forsythia, Azalea, Rhododendron, or Flowering Quince. We'll look at the size and color to see what would be best, and by the end of the day, we may have some new plants to put in!

Then "the girls" will head out for an outdoor lunch.

-Sigh-

Days like this make me appreciate this week's disappointment. There's nothing like getting a little perspective from a friend to help you appreciate the positive side of things. This time, it came from JCK at Motherscribe, specifically As to Why I Didn't Get the Job. A great read.

So, today, I'll sit back and enjoy this life. The warm sun will feel so good. I hope you enjoy it, too.

Sometimes what seems like a roadblock might just be a bend in the path.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

- Midwest Mom

Resilience

2009-04-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

resilient: adj. capable of resuming its shape, position, etc. after being subjected to stress, elastic. [from the Latin, resiliens, resilire, to spring back]

I often say it is my goal to raise independent, resilient children. As a Mom, though, it's hard to gauge how resilient I actually am.

At first, the relentless physical and emotional demands of caring for a tiny baby, of being responsible for his well-being, even feeding him from my very self, was a shock. It took a good six weeks for me to come to terms with the fact that motherhood was a 24 hour per day job. Until I did, resilience eluded me.

But with time and help, I adjusted. That first stretching into the new shape of motherhood almost broke me, but didn't. To my surprise I found I had a stronger, more flexible core than I imagined.

I have come to love being a Mom. And I have learned that this process of stretching, reaching, snapping back occurs on multiple levels over days, weeks, even years. Every childhood phase, medical scare or job worry pulls at me. In time each stress passes. I adjust and make my way again.

My life as a Mom has its undisputed high points. I had a few moments on Easter day when I stood fully in the warm sunbeam of familial love. When I felt the perfection of the day and of our life. It couldn't have felt better. What a contrast from those first difficult days.

There are lows as well, sometimes right on the heels of the highs.

On Monday, I was pounded by relentless waves of bickering. The children clawed through their last day of vacation by finding innovative ways to annoy and betray one another. I grew tired of the rancor. It was an assault to my spirit and my senses.

The sole piece of mail I received that day was a one-line rejection of a resume I had submitted to a local non-profit. It was for a job I knew I could do, was excited about, was hopeful for. Despite my skills, background, and stellar references, they didn't even interview me.

Talk about bruised pride.

It was a sad end to a difficult day.

I fumbled my way through supper and put the children to bed. My husband, seeing my disappointment, was quiet. He brought me tea and asked about my plans for the evening.

I was nestled in a blanket in a cozy corner of the couch, but three full baskets of clean, unfolded laundry glared at me from across the room. I gave them a nod, "tackle those, I guess."

"Nonsense. Wait here." Moments later, he left the house.

It was the nudge I needed to give myself a reprieve from the housework. I looked over the letter again and took guilty pleasure in finding a spelling mistake.

I was content with the quiet until my husband returned. "You need a distraction," he told me as he popped in a DVD.

It was Beverly Hills Cop. He knew just what would brighten my mood. Vintage Eddie Murphy.

I was so grateful for him. We talked into the night and I confessed my feelings.

The worst part of it was that I knew at least ten different ways I would have been able to help this non-profit do its work more effectively. He listened carefully and told me it was their loss that they hadn't given me a chance. The fact that theirs is a cause I care about just made the rejection harder to take.

It has forced me to face the question: How resilient am I?

My caring spouse gave me a pretty good bounce back in the attitude department. But the professional side remains unresolved.

I am a woman of action, impatient with waiting for others' approval. Maybe it's time to make my own opportunities. I may have been stretched, but I haven't shattered, right?

So I'll take some time to rethink, reset my priorities, and make a plan of action. Through the process, maybe the way forward will reveal itself.

There are times when I want to break instead of springing back.

Then I tell myself today is not the day for breaking.

It's not what Moms do.

- Midwest Mom

How They Grow

2009-04-15T03:45:00.000-07:00

We put a lot of effort into our garden here on the homestead. The seeds are planted and sprouting. The daffodils have bloomed in the sunshine and the clematis is climbing. There are pots of pansies on the front porch for a little dash of color.

But we have other things that grow around here. We tend them carefully, feed and water them. We talk lovingly to them. And they just grow and grow.

Some have long legs...

Others have broad shoulders...

And one is a beautiful flower.

Sigh...

I'm so glad to be their gardener.

- Midwest Mom

Sweet Temptation and Johnny Depp

2009-04-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

One of the few things I cannot stand about the Easter aftermath is the fact that my house is now filled with sweets.

We are not a candy family, and yet I am now surrounded by...

M&Ms
Robins Eggs
Jelly Beans
Dove Chocolate eggs
Chocolate bunnies
Sweet Tarts
Carrot cupcakes
and three kinds of coffee cake.

Yikes.

To offset the monumental ingestion of sugar over the weekend, I worked out yesterday evening. I'm planning to again today (the first day my boys are back at school). But life would be a whole heck of a lot easier if my dining room table didn't look like a scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Wait a minute! Maybe all I have to do is think about this creep haunting my dining room...

[shudder]

Yep, that'll keep me from looking like Augustus Gloop by the end of the day... Then I can sit back and think about this guy instead.

MMM-mm. Now that's a sweet indulgence I don't mind in the least.

- Midwest Mom

Raising an Adventurous Eater

2009-04-13T07:15:00.001-07:00

Try it, try it, and you may!
Try it and you may, I say!
~ Sam-I-Am

My husband and I love to cook. It's a pretty frugal alternative to eating out. We have some tried and true recipes, but we also love to learn new ways of cooking. That can mean making Thai or Indian or South American meals, or our most recent favorite, foods from the Middle East.

Friends wonder how on earth we get our children to do it. They complain about their kids' preferences for hot dogs and Kraft macaroni and cheese or wonder whether it is possible for a toddler to survive on carrot sticks and a bowl of Cheerios.

I will admit, our children like those kids favorites just as much as the next child does. But our oldest has an abiding love of Curried Brown Lentils. Our youngest gobbles up anything with Roasted Red Peppers in it. And our 6 year-old son, the most conservative eater in the family, considers fajitas with homemade salsa and guacamole "A 5-Star Meal."

To answer a couple of questions in advance: Yes, we started offering our kids a variety of foods early on. But No, I don't think that kids who eat nothing but grilled cheese and applesauce are too far gone to be brought back on track.

Here are some hints to get your kids to branch out:

Start Small: Introducing one new food at a time is the best practice for babies just starting to eat solid food. It's also the best way to ease a timid eater into unfamiliar taste territory. Offering one taste -- even a lick -- of a new food at every meal can help to wake up your child's palate.

When in Doubt, Choose Fresh: Fresh blueberries or raspberries, baby spinach, or cherry tomatoes are great foods to incorporate into your child's diet. They offer new textures and flavors without requiring a lot of preparation by you. The fresh foods you use to help your child branch out now may become tomorrow's healthy snacktime favorites.

Use Color: Offering a rainbow of foods can be so appealing to a child. Lightly blanched broccoli is so green -- a favorite for my children. Roasted red peppers are brilliant red, equally appealing. Toasted pecans offer a light, nutty sweetness -- and a beautiful brown color. Red Lentils start out orange and cook to a soft, golden yellow. When you create foods for your children that appeal to them visually, they are more likely to give them a taste.

Some Assembly Required: My children are inherently suspicious of foods that are all mixed up. (Something my Mother In Law is reminded of every time she serves them up a lovingly-prepared all-in-one casserole.) When I want them to try new things, I will often cook and serve the ingredients separately and have them assemble the dish on their own plate and on their own terms. They can eat foods separately or together. The more adventurous they become, the more they will find the combination that suits their individual palate. Sometimes one of my children will say to the other, "try this and that together! They taste great!"

Feed them Hungry: I don't think my kids have caught on to the fact that on nights when we're introducing something new, we usually eat a little later. Maybe it happens because cooking something new takes us a little longer. Maybe it's because we know that hungry children will eat anything in their path. Regardless of the reason, it works.

Make Reliable = Neutral: We always offer a reliable dish alongside an adventure food, but we never make it more appealing than the food we hope the children will try. Having a dish of rice on the side when you're trying a new main dish or a brand new vegetable combination really works. Often, my children will try the new foods first, then move on to the rice. If I were to use Kraft Mac & Cheese as my alternate, you'd better believe they'd be asking for seconds of that before they tried anything new.

Use the "Try It" Mantra: We recite those penultimate lines of Green Eggs and Ham when our children start to dig in their heels. "Try it, try it and you may! Try it and you may, I say!" They laugh and relent. One small taste is all we ask. My oldest came up with his own (I think borrowed from Elmo.) "It's National Try a New Food Day!" he will tell his brother. Only occasionally will his brother grumble back something about him saying that every day.

Respect Choices: There is nothing more discouraging than your children rejecting a food you love or have lovingly prepared. But parents who want their children to be willing to try new foods have to listen when a child says they don't like it. I don't force my kids to clean their plates, especially if they have already told me they aren't crazy about the adventure food taking up residence. I tell them, "different people like different things." My husband is crazy about beets; I can't stand them. I love feta cheese; my sons think it tastes like stinky socks. If I want them to trust me at the table, I have to be sensitive to their palate.

Try, Try Again: With that said, there is something to be said for persistence. Two years ago, my boys wouldn't touch spaghetti (one of my favorite meals). There was something about the sauce that just didn't hit their palate right. I experimented with the recipe, adjusting the spices or the sauce-to-noodle ratio. I found a combination that works for all of us. Now they ask for it.

Model Adventure: Finally, adventurous eaters usually don't come from parents who eat nothing but chicken and mashed potatoes. The more willing you are to try new things, the more curious your children will be about what, exactly, is on your plate. Why is Dad crazy for curry? Why does Mom flip over tabouleh? How would this taste with a squeeze of lemon like my brother uses? Do parsnips really taste like cauliflower? Mom, can I have a bite of your grapefruit? Children love to imitate. Take advantage of it.

Appreciating food is such a fun part of living. I hope you will have a little food adventure with your child soon. Don't be nervous. It doesn't have to be a battle. Just relax and start offering alternatives. Have fun with it.

Pretty soon, you may have an adventurous eater on your hands.

- Midwest Mom

Parenting Through Easter and Passover: Survival Strategies

2009-04-08T07:36:00.000-07:00

This is the week of Easter and Passover. Families all over will be celebrating with family and friends. Although it is a meaningful and joyful time of year, it can also be a stressful time, especially for parents and children.

My own children are anticipating the next few days with a mixture of dread and excitement. We attend Holy Week services in the days leading up to Easter. Believe it or not, those services can be tedious and demanding for children, particularly because they are solemn. For parents who celebrate Passover, there are days of preparation and celebration that can bring children to the brink of their patience as well.

But we celebrate our family traditions because they are important to pass along from one generation to the next. Parents are, first and foremost, teachers. And so we ask more of them at this time of year than we ordinarily would.

For Christians, the prize at the end of the race is always Easter. It is a day of celebration, family dinners, egg hunts, and candy candy candy. For our family, Easter Sunday can be just as much, if not more demanding than any other part of the week. It is a full day, to say the least.

My goals during this week are twofold:

1.) To teach my children carefully about why we celebrate the way we do, and

2.) To keep them whole and cared-for in the process.

It can be a tough balance to strike, especially because my children range in age from 3-8. What our 8 year old is ready for, his little sister may not be. So, I start the juggling act.

Here are a few strategies for surviving the week:

Be Selective - Parents and children may not be able to participate in everything this week. Evaluate what your children might be able to handle and do one or two of those activities. If they won't sit through a 2-hour church service, make private time to pray at home. Find ways to honor your family's traditions that might be more age-appropriate.

Talk about expectations - Lay out your plan for the week with your children so they know what to expect. Let them know what relatives might be coming into town or who you may be planning to visit. Tell them in advance what kind of behavior you expect. If they know ahead of time, it will be easier to parent them through it.

Teach Before the Moment - Read children's books about the meaning of Easter or Passover. Find an activity to do each day, from simple crafts to special prayers, that will help your children understand the deeper meaning of your family's celebration. Children learn a lot from repetition, so the sooner you start to talk about what these holidays mean, the more able you will be to answer the questions your children are bound to have. Teaching in advance will make the celebration more meaningful for all of you.

Keep Perspective - Even though you are busy cleaning and making special recipes, decorating your home, and welcoming guests from out of town, your children have needs that will not go away. Do your best, despite everything, to keep that in mind. Taking time to involve them and let them know that they are loved can make all the difference. It can keep both of you from having a 'meltdown' further on down the road.

Watch the Big Three: They are, of course, diet, sleep, and exercise. Keeping your family healthy through the holidays means doing your best to keep some sort of schedule. When you know church services will run late, prepare by taking naps. If you know there will be a candy-fest at Grandma's, prepare by feeding your children nutritious snacks packed with protein, like nuts or cheese. Making time for 30 minutes of vigorous exercise outside in the sunshine can make it easier to ask them to sit still when you need to.

Let Love Guide You: At the holidays or any stressful time, it can be easy to lose sight of the reason you celebrate. At the core of our holiday traditions is Love. It is the reason we gather with family and friends. It is even the reason behind our faith traditions. Focus on that Love and don't lose sight of it. Even when the jello doesn't set. Even when your daughter toilet papers the bathroom 5 minutes before Aunt Gertrude arrives. Even when your nephew makes confetti out of the matzo. Take a deep breath and do your best to react with love and patience.

I know you can do it.

Have a safe and Happy Easter and a Blessed Passover.

- Midwest Mom

******************
Midwest Moms will return after Easter, on Monday, April 13.

The Power of Change

2009-04-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

It takes a lot of courage to release
the familiar and seemingly secure,
to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting,
for in movement there is life,
and in change there is power.

~Alan Cohen

My twenty-year high school reunion is coming up this year, so I've been spending time catching up with old friends on email and facebook. We're planning a summer trip to the old homestead to participate.

The reunion gives me cause to reflect on where I started and where I am now. It makes me wonder whether the woman I am now bears any resemblance to the seventeen year old girl I was when I graduated.

Some things about me have changed very little. Back then, I was a stubborn, shy, intelligent girl who loved to write. I had a few close friends rather than many. But I laughed a lot, loved sports and adored my Dad. Those things haven't changed about me.

But some things have.

There are the surface differences. My hair now is less like a fluffy pile of feathered wonder and more like a good pretzel -- golden brown with a healthy dose of salt up top. My body shows the signs of having borne three children. My hands are the evidence that I'm raising them.

There are also changes it would be hard to pinpoint in before and after photographs.

I know who I am now and I'm not afraid of what other people think. Back then, I spent a lot of time being afraid. I wanted to do everything right in others' eyes. Now I just do what I feel in my heart is right.

I've learned to trust my inner voice. Back then, I was more likely to trust the guidance of others -- I didn't even know what my inner voice sounded like. It's shocking to realize how much influence other people had over me in my decisions about friends and boys, even what to wear. But, those days are over.

I am more forgiving of other people's faults now, more compassionate, more generous and understanding. When you're a mom it's part of the job description.

I'm more politically Liberal now. I probably always was. I just couldn't find expression for it until college and afterward. Now that my core and I are on speaking terms, it's easier to keep my beliefs in line with my politics, and vise-versa.

I have followed a winding path to get where I am -- through college and graduate school, living in Michigan, DC, Russia, New Hampshire, and Illinois, working, through friendships and relationships, through heartbreak, disillusionment and disappointment, growth, rebirth, love, and marriage, bearing and raising three children. But I'm grateful for the path and happy with the destination -- this place, this day, this family.

I am not who I was. But I am satisfied with who I am.

It makes me wonder what kind of transformations my high school friends have gone through, what challenges they have succumbed to or overcome? The historian in me wants to know it all, to trace the pathways of their lives. The friend in me wants to be introduced to the new people my old friends have become.

Maybe that's what reunions are meant to do. Maybe they aren't about the 'glory days' so much as they are about using them as a starting point for new relationships. I hope so.

In a weird way, I guess that means I'm looking forward to this reunion.

How completely unexpected.

How unlike me.

How exciting.

- Midwest Mom

We Have a Winner!

2009-04-06T06:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who entered the JumpStart giveaway over the past two weeks. It was such a treat to be able to try out and review their learning software. Because I could recommend the programs so highly, hosting a giveaway was the icing on the cake.

I know that many high-fallootin' review sites use a Random Number Generator to ensure that their results are truly, verifiably, unequivocally random.

Our random number generator was numbered pieces of paper folded in quarters and placed haphazardly in a pink Boston Red Sox baseball cap belonging to my youngest daughter.

My oldest son, notorious for taking so long stirring his hand around before making a choice that my arm felt like it was going to fall off, my eyes bugged out, and "pick one already!" came bursting out in frustration, made the selection.

And the Winner is... #10 - Sumpteretc . The Sumpter family will receive a free three-month full membership at JumpStart.com.

Here is the winner's comment:

Our 4-year-old just finished the two free levels of the JumpStart software we bought him. We are missionaries in Mongolia, so there are not a lot of options for buying new software here. We have been considering buying a membership for him, but I'd love to try it out for free before I sink $75 into an annual membership. Thanks for the opportunity.

Thanks for playing, everyone! Hope your week is off to a great start!

- Midwest Mom