Friday, January 2, 2009

Welcome to the Midwest!

If you're new to the Midwest, especially small-town Midwest, here are a few things you should know...
  • You can always tell where you are by reading the name on the nearest water tower.

  • All roads intersect at right angles. As a result, directions are always given in cardinal directions [go north 2.4 miles, turn east…] Funny thing, though, a road named 2800 East is actually a north-south road.

  • A town actually can have more miles of road to maintain than it has residents.

  • Don't trust the Governor as far as you can throw him... especially if he has more hair than your Aunt Matilda's persian cat.

  • The land here is so flat you can actually see the curvature of the earth as you look at the horizon… as long as you can see past the grain elevators.

  • Housing bubble? What housing bubble?

  • Where we live, there are three donut shops but no Starbucks. We manage just fine.

  • Yes you may let your dog ride in the front seat... Heck, you can let him drive if you want.

  • December music programs at school actually can still contain the word “Christmas”.

  • It’s okay to play with your food. Dried corn is a great substitute for sand in the sandbox. (Castles are tough to make with it, though.) And corn mazes are an essential part of fall fun.

  • It can be just as thrilling to see $3.60 corn prices as it can be to see gas prices go down below $2.00 (we heat with corn, by the way… another Midwest reality. It’s nice to know that my energy dollar is going to a local farmer instead of a conglomerate.)

  • Here, sunsets and storms help you understand just how small you really are. And a little perspective can be a good thing.

So, welcome to the Midwest... and welcome to a new year of Midwest Moms.

- Midwest Mom

7 comments:

  1. Small Town, USA - you can't beat it. I grew up in a southern town of 20,000 - we left our doors unlocked, we were allowed to play outside beyond the boundries of our yards and we gathered together as a community.

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  2. I really enjoyed this post. It was both hilarious and informative. Thanks for visiting my blog and i wish you the best in the New Year!

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  3. great description.i am sure if I visit,I would be fully armed with information.. :)

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  4. This is absolutely hilariously true. There are many people out here on the east coast that don't even know what grain elevators are, and I learned to drive by circling around one. Gotta love the midwest.

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  5. I sure miss the midwest! I grew up in Wisconsin and just moved out to CA last year. Your list is so true and it reminded me of home! Thank you for sharing.

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  6. LOL You made my day. I will always be a Midwest Girl. I miss it!

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