Monday, August 31, 2009

Worms in the Fridge

Have you ever noticed that some of the realities of marriage and motherhood aren't exactly what you would've expected??

I think I may have bemoaned the worms in the fridge before... it's one of those little things that are a part of being married to my fisherman husband that I have to put up with. Honestly, though, the positives of my marriage (especially when he comes home with fresh fish for our supper) far outweigh the revulsion I feel at the wriggling contents of that little green styrofoam container I force myself to ignore whenever I'm hunting up supper ingredients. So, I overlook it (but not really).

But, there are other things about motherhood that really aren't my cup of tea. One is the ever-growing list of 'rules' I have to follow now that my boys are growing older. I can't kiss them or tell them 'I love you' in public because it makes them feel uncomfortable. (Fortunately for me, affection is okay at home.) I try to accommodate their quirky disdain for motherly PDA, but honestly... I hate it. And every so often, I slip up. Last year, on the last day of school, I unthinkingly kissed my oldest son on the top of his head as I left the classroom and said, "see you later on, honey." His ears blazed bright red and I knew I'd embarrassed him. Oh, well. (What can I say? I love the kid.)

Now, I'm in the strange situation of having to back off from sports, something I've always shared with my oldest, because as he grows older (and lets face it, as his skills improve) he's outgrowing his mother's ability. It's hard for me, because I want him to outgrow me -- especially in his areas of talent.

But, I'm just no good at being a sideline parent.

So, today, he's asking me to come outside to play soccer with him. Like a good mom, I'll strap on the sneakers and head out. It's fun to get out there and play a little, something I'm still allowed to do when no one is watching. But it will make it tough tomorrow, when he goes to practice and I'll be expected to fade into the background.

I'm already missing the days when he'd turn to me for approval when he made a great play. But, now it's all about Dad and coach. It makes a mom feel a little lonely.

I don't mean to wallow or anything. I mean, I'm happy that the boys are independent and strong. After all, that's what I'm raising them to be. But, just like no one can tell you how much your love for your newborn infant will overwhelm you, nothing prepares you for the times in your child's life when you will be made to feel extraneous.

sigh

I guess life is change. And my oldest, especially, is growing up.

So this Midwest Mom had better just take a deep breath and get used to it...

... just like the worms in the fridge.

- Midwest Mom

1 comment:

  1. Which is exactly why I'm so lucky I get to take karate with my boys!

    ReplyDelete

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