People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
- George Bernard Shaw
Lately, I have been a terrible coward.
It's difficult to admit it, but there it is.
You see, this Fall, I took a chance to do a kind of writing I haven't before. I wrote a weekly feature article for an online publication. It was work I enjoyed, and my writing was well-received.
My feature highlighted blogs and bloggers whose work deserved to be showcased. In return, I was supposed to receive compensation. But benefits promised never materialized, and my sense of trust in the people I had devoted time and work and energy to promote eroded.
In the end, I stopped writing my weekly feature. Stopped cold. The response?
Looking back, I understand that I was taken advantage of. It's awful to have to admit that, because it was the most recent of many failures 2009 held for me. But worse than just 'not panning out', it truly made me feel foolish to have trusted untrustworthy people.
Afterward, I lost my motivation to write altogether. Even though I wouldn't admit it, in some way I blamed myself for the dishonest behavior of others. (And thanks to Stacy at 4everMom for picking up on my funk almost immediately. You're quite an insightful friend.)
But it's time to stop moping.
So, here I am again. Back at Midwest Moms. And, quite honestly, it feels good to be writing in my own space. Here, I write to my own deadlines and standards. My work is driven by my own sense of creativity and purpose. And the friends who come to visit and leave a note are exactly that -- friends.
So, let's agree to pick up and dust off. I have a feeling 2010 will be a better year.
- Midwest Mom