2009 -- Resolutions Report Card

Oh my. I know I have that resolutions list from last January hidden around here somewhere...

Ah. Here it is.

Now it's time to see how I did... (oh, boy.)

Resolution #1: Listen to my children more – I try to appreciate how wonderful my children are, but I always feel like I could be doing more to really listen to them and know the marvelous individuals they are becoming. This is an ongoing resolution, but one that I’m looking forward to.

Grade: B
There's always room for improvement on this one, but I think I remembered this resolution at least monthly. Having listening as a goal helped me to be more open and accepting. More joy seeped in when I wasn't paying attention. (A nice side-benefit.)


Resolution #2: Make some Dough -- By the end of the year, I would really like to be able to bake bread consistently and well (with no bread machine.) I know it’s something that takes practice – I just haven’t been willing to endure the failure it will take to finally get it right. This is the year I will do it.

Grade: D+
I didn't make bread more than twice this year... and my in-laws got me a garage sale bread machine to use. Needless to say, I have taken the 'busy housewife' route of using frozen bread dough or take-n-bake bread. So, Julia Child I am not. I accept it and wipe this resolution from my list with a clear conscience.


Resolution #3: Get Moving – Everyone always starts their resolutions with diet and exercise. I am afraid I have been falling down on the job, or more accurately sitting down at the computer screen. The problem is, I really truly enjoy getting daily exercise. It makes me feel better about myself in too many ways to count. I just haven’t been real good at fitting it into my routine. I have to find a way to change that reality.

Grade: B+
This year, I made a point of staying active during the winter, and all summer long we swam at the pool. (Obviously, I felt good enough about my figure to spend that amount of time in a bathing suit, so that in itself is a mark of success -- or loss of shame?) Still, I asked for my gym membership back as a Christmas present, and Santa lovingly obliged. So, we'll kick it up a notch.


Resolution #4: Go West – We have a family goal of getting out West this year. We love camping and the mountains, but we haven’t taken our children very far west of the “Mighty Mississip”. This is the year we will change that.

Grade:C+ [Due to assignment change -- extension given until 2011]
We traveled so much this year, including a 20-day grand tour of the Eastern-Seaboard in late summer and another 10-day trip at Thanksgiving. Needless to say, we get an "A for effort", even if our year was more Amber Waves of Grain than Purple Mountain Majesty. (Plus, there's always next year.)


Resolution #5: Work on my Sisterhood – On Midwest Moms, I have talked about the amazing support network I feel whenever I turn to other Moms for help or advice. “The Sisterhood of Moms” has been such a blessing to me. But one thing I have to work on is regularly including my own sisters in my friend network. We live in different parts of the country, and it can be difficult to keep in touch. This year I don’t want distance to be an excuse.

Grade: A+
I'm happy about renewing my friendship with both of my sisters, including *actually* seeing them and visiting their homes with my family. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but sharing the same space with my sisters for a while sure was an important part of my year.

Overall: B- (On the Michigan scale -- not too shabby.)


And now I can start to think about 2010. (oh, boy.)

- Midwest Mom

Glad to be Back

What an ideal summer it's been.

I've traveled alone and with family. To family. From Family. Between families. You get the picture.

We swam in rivers and the Atlantic, and we kayaked for the first time. The boys are fully swimming on their own now, and Primo passed his deep-end-of-the-pool swim test two weeks ago.

As promised, we feasted on shellfish on the Maryland Shore and braved the crowds to see Fourth of July fireworks in Washington, DC. We watched the sunset and moonrise from a rooftop in Philly, and shared cotton candy as a gesture of peace after bashing each other to bits on bumper cars in Maine. I loved every minute.

Best of all, though, I loved clearing the schedule to enjoy my children -- playing with them, listening to them, learning from them. They have such unique perspectives on the world around them. If I weren't paying attention, I'd have missed them.

During this summer of travel, I've learned a few things, too.

I've learned that,

• You shouldn't serve refried beans the night before you fly to Cleveland... Turbulence.
• One of the most supportive and meaningful statements you can hear from a brother is, "Hey! I just subscribed to your blog on my Kindle!"
• The world is changing faster than I thought. After listening to a relative describe a botched home improvement job, I heard my mother reply, "You know, whenever I don't know how to do something, I just google it."
• Saying goodbye is never easy.
• When swimming in Maine, no matter the season, just run for the water and jump all the way in. If you take the time to process just how cold that water actually is, you'll never do it.
• In a pinch, a Dad really can make a fantastic Mom.
• I will miss my Grandmother's laugh most of all.
• I need to get over my youngest child starting preschool. She's ready for it, and she's in good hands. [repeats to self over and over again]
• Airport food can be shockingly awful.
• You can wait for 2 weeks for a handful of tomatoes to ripen, but leave the house for 2 days and you'll come home to a wheelbarrow full of them.
• Primo has inherited a green thumb... maybe even two of them.
• Nothing feels better than coming home.

It's good to be back. I can't wait to share another year of our life.

- Midwest Mom

Here comes 2009! Resolutions checklist

As we welcome 2009, I have a few goals for the new year.

Listen to my children more – I try to appreciate how wonderful my children are, but I always feel like I could be doing more to really listen to them and know the marvelous individuals they are becoming. This is an ongoing resolution, but one that I’m looking forward to.

Make some Dough -- By the end of the year, I would really like to be able to bake bread consistently and well (with no bread machine.) I know it’s something that takes practice – I just haven’t been willing to endure the failure it will take to finally get it right. This is the year I will do it.

Get Moving – Everyone always starts their resolutions with diet and exercise. I am afraid I have been falling down on the job, or more accurately sitting down at the computer screen. The problem is, I really truly enjoy getting daily exercise. It makes me feel better about myself in too many ways to count. I just haven’t been real good at fitting it into my routine. I have to find a way to change that reality.

Go West – We have a family goal of getting out West this year. We love camping and the mountains, but we haven’t taken our children very far west of the “Mighty Mississip”. This is the year we will change that.

Work on my Sisterhood – On Midwest Moms, I have talked about the amazing support network I feel whenever I turn to other Moms for help or advice. “The Sisterhood of Moms” has been such a blessing to me. But one thing I have to work on is regularly including my own sisters in my friend network. We live in different parts of the country, and it can be difficult to keep in touch. This year I don’t want distance to be an excuse.

That’s it for this year. I hope by next December, I will be able to say that I listened to my beautiful children while baking perfect rolls for Christmas after taking a three-mile walk in Utah with my sisters. (You never know… It could happen.)

I hope you and yours have a very Happy New Year!

- Midwest Mom

The Art of the Long Car Trip

My family recently took a two-week trip to Philadelphia. From Illinois, it was a long haul. And when I say long, I do mean long -- like two separate days of driving to get there long.

But, I have to say, the drive wasn't so bad. We usually take driving vacations, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Fortunately, they are tricks I don't mind sharing...

Trick #1: Do your homework.

When I plan one of our drives, I involve the children in the planning. We talk about which states we'll be going through and what that state will be like. Our last trip was a 5 state trip. So, we learned about Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. But the state which captured my children's imagination, at least during the drive, was West Virginia. We were only there for about 30 minutes of the drive, but the kids knew that it was a state of mountains and coal mines. It was there that the roads first got winding and that we saw our first tunnels. Knowing the road ahead helped them to have something to look forward to and gave them a sense of place along the way.

Trick #2: Make the most of your stops.

I remember, when I was a child, we would stop and eat around roadside picnic tables, with expressway traffic shooting by. I never do that with my kids. (Sorry, Mom & Dad... I know you're reading this...)

When we are planning the trip, I use Google Earth to check out towns we will consider stopping in. So many communities across America have invested in beautiful parks (with amazing playgrounds!) If we're going to stop for lunch, we make it standard practice to get the kids out of the car and running around. It lets them be loud and run off all that extra energy and it's a nice reward for their patience in the car. If we're taking an unexpected stop, we ask locals where to find the best playground in town, or we look for a local school playground. It doesn't take a lot to satisfy the kids; if it's new to them, they will love it. And, they're more likely to nap in the car afterward if they're nice and tired when they get in the car.

Trick #3: Eat smart -- good for the waistline, good for your wallet.

When our family takes a road trip, we are more likely to get a loaf of bread, fresh fruit, and sandwich fixings at a local store than to stop for lunch at a fast food place. Providing lunch at the park is more satisfying and laid-back (you don't have to expect a 4 year old to mind his manners), not to mention more nutritious. And in this economy, the most important thing is, you save money. There is nothing worse than paying too much for bad food that your child does not eat. When we're on a trip, we set a maximum of one (yes, I said one) restaurant meal a day. That way, when they do get into the restaurant, a) they are hungry, b) they are willing to mind their manners and c) you can afford those special foods they (and you) don't get all the time -- a good steak, seafood, that beautiful chocolate cheesecake or sundae at the end of the meal.

We find that the one restaurant meal a day rule makes us more portable, too. We can be selective in what we eat by carrying fruit or carrot sticks or fresh water and eating on the go. We can take a walk in the morning, get good coffee and give our two-year-old her first raspberry croissant or take a hike and open our backpack to apples and cheese and juice boxes at the top of a mountain. There is something satisfying about food that is fresh, light, and well-earned. We find it keeps us from feeling that ugly "I've been traveling too long" feeling you can get from eating rich food at every meal.

If you're worried that you may be caught without something appropriate, you can always repeat what I tell myself when packing -- I live in the United States of America. There is nowhere you can go in this amazing country that you cannot find something to sustain your family.

And some of our neatest discoveries have come during a stopover "food search". On our trip through Pennsylvania, we stopped in a small farm town and went to the local store. My seven year old decided it was time to try sardines for the first time (that was a shocker!), but the rest of us had some fresh fruit, crackers, cheese, and large cartons of milk. And while we sat on a grassy hillside adjacent to the store, here came buggyful after buggyful of Amish men in brightly colored shirts right past us. It was a neat moment that gave us a chance to teach our children and to see something we don't get the chance to see everyday.

Trick #4: Never underestimate the power of something new.

Every mom searches her brain for which toys and books to bring on the trip. We ask ourselves how much to bring and which toys or games are best. I like toys that are based upon imaginary play (so action figures or dolls are good), ones that are small (so magnetized games are great), ones that are low-tech (no loud sounds or annoying lights, and no need to bring batteries). I like small puzzles that can be done and re-done, or toys that involve something to figure out (my boys love transformers), but they can't have too many pieces. We bring a large number of small paperback storybooks and usually a chapter book for me to read when the ride seems long. We like mysteries or adventure stories, but classics are fun, too. On our last trip, we read a children's version of Treasure Island. For boys who love pirates, it was something they never tired of listening to.

That probably seems like a standard list of basic ideas, but the trick is this: pack your toys and books into a few separate packages and introduce them to your children in stages. And be sure to reserve a small bag of totally new books and toys for the ride home. If we're planning on being away for two weeks, and my children have had the same 10 books the whole time, they are so sick of those stories by the ride home, that all I hear is complaining. So, I try to keep a little mystery in the ride for them. At the end of each day, I pack up some toys and put them away until later in the trip. On our last vacation, I even packed one brand new toy into each of their suitcases. It was "the hotel toy", and they could only play with it in the hotel room. (It was my smart idea to avoid having to schlep everything up from the car all the time.) It worked beautifully. Never underestimate the power of something new.


If you and your family are going away for the long weekend, please have a safe and pleasant trip. I hope you come across some exciting new things along the way. Hopefully, you'll discover what we have discovered -- that the art of the long car trip is not lost, and that there's no reason to dread the road that takes you where you're going. If you can discover new things along the way and treat yourself to the joy of getting OFF the expressway for a while, you will find that getting there can be just as much fun as the rest of your vacation.

Happy Fourth of July!

Midwest Mom

A Memory to Share

Mr. Rogers once said, "I find out more and more every day how important it is for people to share their memories."


I have always liked Mr. Rogers. When he was alive, he found simple ways to talk about feelings and events that were, in reality, not simple at all. As he appeared from our television (when the rabbit ears were positioned correctly) he seemed very wise, for someone in a cardigan.

Mr. Rogers was from my mother's hometown of Latrobe, Pennsylvania. His calming, genteel drawl is actually the local accent there, which may be a key to the reason I liked him. It may also be why, even as an adult, I find Latrobe a comfortable place to be.

On a recent trip "out East", my family made a stop in that wonderful little town to visit with my mother's oldest living relative. She is a widowed Great Aunt, just a few years shy of 100. She is a joy. She is also one of the sharpest people you'll find.

It was wonderful to see my three children interacting with her in completely different ways. The youngest, my 2-year-old daughter, immediately reached up to feel her hair and touched her face to see how soft it was. My Aunt was elated at her tenderness.

Later in the visit, my 5-year-old came up for a nice close look. He said over his shoulder to me (as if my Aunt weren't there), "Mommy, why does she look so... old?"

To her credit, my Aunt laughed. "Children are so honest, aren't they?" she said, in her Mr. Rogers voice. I put my son on the spot by asking how old he thought she really was. He demurred.

"I couldn't say." A pause. "Oh, maybe about 79."

My Aunt was supremely complimented. "He says I look 79!" she repeated several times during the rest of our visit. "But I get that a lot." she beamed.

My oldest boy, just finishing first grade, had a different take on visiting someone so close to a century old. He wanted to know about her history. And as every boy knows, history begins with your first car.

My Aunt told us about her Nash, purchased in Europe after the end of World War II. "Jimmy [her husband] told me I could have any car I wanted. They had Mercedes and BMWs, even back then. But I was such an American girl. I had to have an American car. So, there I was, driving through Europe in that Nash. Everywhere we went, people knew us by that car."

As children do, they soon decided it was time to explore. So, my husband took them for a walk to get a cookie from the nurses and to meet the other residents. I was glad to be left alone with my Aunt for a bit.

When I was a baby, she and our family lived closer. My Great Uncle Jimmy had passed away, and my Aunt enjoyed visiting with us, holding me, teaching me things. She called me 'precious'. Now that we were alone, she addressed me with that old name.

"Oh, Precious. Doesn't it just amaze you how fast the time goes? I remember holding you when you were the same age your daughter is now." She put her hands on her temples and her eyes were wet. "Life is just so wonderful, isn't it?"

All I could think of was how grateful I am for this woman and for the opportunity to share my family with her and hear her stories and share our time together. I feel pride in knowing that I have a connection with such a remarkable woman as my Aunt.

Of course, I will always wish that I lived closer or stayed longer. But to me, it is so important to maintain the connection between generations. And someday, my children will remember my "79" year-old Aunt with soft hair and skin and a beige Nash.

But, even if they don't remember, I will. It is a memory I will love to share.

Midwest Mom

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