Unanswerable Questions

Does anyone know why laundry and dirty dishes seem to self-generate? Do they breed in the dark? Is there something I should be feeding them or should I walk them every day to keep them trim, wet-nosed and shiny-coated?

And why must my daughter have an urgent need for a bathroom when we're halfway home from school -- every day? Could it be something about passing the bus station? or the Library? Is the Post Office a bladder activator?

Is there a reason my husband invariably chooses as his snack something I've prepared for supper? Does he have supper-preparation mind-reading capabilities I know nothing about? Isn't there some kind of E.S.P. disclosure clause in the marriage contract?

And why do I seem completely incapable of saying 'No' when someone from school approaches me with a project? Why am I not earning a paycheck from there?? I spend more time there than anywhere else I can think of. Even Walmart.

Does everyone think their own kids are the cutest in the world? Even when they're barfing or annoying each other or jockeying to be first in line for something? Even when they say things like "he got a bigger scoop of ice cream than I did! No fair!" Because I think that is just *precious.* Okay, not really.

Did I mention the laundry is piling up? And is there a reason why I repeat myself all the time? Could it have something to do with having to ask my kids to put on their shoes 5 times before school?? Did I mention the laundry is piling up?

-sigh-

I guess there are some answers no Mom is meant to discover. Even me. Or maybe especially me.

But if you have a compelling answer to any of these ridiculous questions, I'd love to hear from you. Truly.

In the meantime... did I mention the laundry is piling -- I did?

Oh.


- Midwest Mom

The Blessing of Fertile Ground

Autumn arrives in early morning,
but spring at the close of a winter day.

~Elizabeth Bowen

Spring is finally here, thank goodness. For some reason, this Winter seemed to last an eternity. But the weekend was and it seems like the whole next week will be comprised of perfect Spring days.

It makes a gardener feel joyful inside.

Over the weekend, I itched to get out in the sunshine. I will admit, the inside chores tore at the edges of my patience. Why was I washing dishes when I could be out there? At the first available moment, I called to the kids to put on their shoes and head out.

They whooped like a pack of wild Indians in a 1950's Western.

I guess I wasn't alone, noticing the sunbeam slanting through our yellow kitchen had a strength that hinted of warmth.

I spent Saturday clearing brush and fallen leaves from every corner of the garden. It was amazing to see the sheer number of plants ready to burst from the ground. Even the later Spring bulbs like hyacinth and tulips are a good three inches up. Our clematis has to many buds to count.

I can't wait for Easter pictures.

When I was finished, the compost bin was piled higher than I could reach and my husband was unwrapping our roses. I turned to the wildflower garden.

Now, I know you're not supposed to "weed" a wildflower garden. I don't weed, but I do prepare it for the growing season by removing thick mats of grass and creeping groundcover to make room for the abundant seed left there at the close of last year. I always add a little new seed -- a few annuals to brighten up the garden. This year, I mixed compost and peat and hard raked it in to the seedy top layer of soil. As I worked on Sunday, I noticed that there were the tiniest seedlings everywhere. It was as though they suddenly burst from their shells overnight.

Once the wildflower garden was ready and, with the help of three very dirty but enthusiastic children, we had transplanted our brown-eyed Susans to make a border at the back of the yard, I turned to the vegetable garden. Another, thicker layer of compost and peat went down. My husband and I turned it into the soil with spades to help lighten the brittle texture of the ground there. It's something we do every year. Slowly but surely the soil texture is improving.

I know we could build raised beds and be in total control of the soil characteristics. But there is something wonderful about using what God has given us, working with it, getting it under our nails and coaxing it to bear fruit that I find satisfying.

It's the one reason I would have a hard time leaving the Midwest -- fertile ground. We can grow anything here, and do.

I try not to take it for granted.

In the Springtime, I savor the sight and smell of freshly turned fields, the first mist of tiniest green in perfectly straight rows, the trees that grow tall because they are able to drink deeply and soak in the perfect balance of rain and sun.

There is no place in the world, I think, where life can be so simple and so fruitful at the same time. When the world is growing and you've worked hard to help it along, being thankful for it comes naturally - the seed of gratitude banked against the cold for so long showing its promise, seemingly overnight.

Who knew my soul needed to work the earth so desperately?


- Midwest Mom

Midwest Gardening: Spring Starter Chores

We had a wonderful Spring weekend here in the Midwest.

It was typical -- a little sun, some gentle rain, and by the end of the weekend, 50 mph winds with tornadoes and power outages.

Ahh, the Midwest! Isn't it grand?

This was the weekend when my garden clean-up chores began. It was muddy and wonderful to get out with my spade to start moving perennials. This was the weekend when garden plans started to become garden reality. But, there is a lot to do! It was hard not to feel daunted by the sheer volume of work.

After a long Winter, the sun and warm temperatures made the work worth it. (Maybe I'm part plant.)

My spring clean-up chores were few, but significant. I have decided to devote our entire side garden to vegetables this year. I will be setting aside some space on the south slope of our yard for vegetables as well. To make the most of both planting zones, I will build raised beds this week.

But first, I had to get started moving perennials. I started digging up Brown-eyed Susans and peppermint from the herb garden. I moved them back to the sunny edge of our wildflower garden. All it will take is a few plugs of each to make a beautiful border back there.



When moving vigorous perennials, try to cut them from their bed with a large spade. Lift the entire plant with at least 5 inches of accompanying soil. Keeping the roots intact will reduce stress on the plant and increase the chances of survival in its new location. Dig a deeper hole than you need, and backfill it loosely with soil. I usually put water into the hole before inserting the plug of rooted perennials into the moist soil. Try to keep the level of soil even with the earth around it and press firmly to ensure good contact between the roots and the soil. Water again thoroughly.

Another chore I started to tackle this weekend was moving the compost pile. We use a 2-bay compost system, where we fill one bay each year. In the Spring, I move material that is not completely broken down from the full bay to the empty bay. It is a long process. But my philosophy of Spring chores is Slow and Steady Wins the Race. If the Earth can take it's time getting ready for growing, so can I.

I will work on the compost over the course of the next month. I combine moving it over with other clean-up jobs, so that I am layering older material with newer. We mulch our beds with leaves in the Fall. When the time comes to remove that mulch (not yet) each bed will provide a nicely broken-down layer for the new compost bay. If you're moving the compost at your house, be sure to make the outside edge of each layer a little thicker than the middle. A compost pile that is lower in the center than the outside funnels rain into the pile and breaks down faster. If you build your pile like a haystack, the rain will sheet off and the center of the pile will remain dry.

With steady work over the next few weeks, the compost will be completely moved and the lowest layer of soil, rich in nutrients, will be ready to work into my vegetable garden. There is no better fertilizer than fresh compost. It is my garden's "secret ingredient".

The final "chore" of the weekend was to complete my seed purchase with Johnny's Selected Seeds. I cannot say how clearly superior I find the seeds from Johnny's as compared to hardware store packeted seed. Their varieties are specifically designed for disease-resistance and many are tailored for Northern growers. They also have a wide variety of organic seed. They have a place on their website for gardeners to make a 'garden wish-list'. I love that I can shop for seed, choose a few varieties, and save them until I'm ready to buy. This weekend, I finalized my list. As soon as my seeds arrive, I'll post directions for home seed-starting.

As expected, our lovely Midwest Spring weekend is transforming into a chilly week. Rain today and tomorrow will help those perennials I moved to take root. But our trusty weather channel tells me that night-time lows will be well below freezing after Wednesday, so the layer of protective mulch I have on the flower beds must stay in place for now -- even if the daffodils and day-lilies are poking through the leaves to find the sunlight.

I'd love to hear about your gardens. Are you going to try to plant more vegetables this year? What chores are your biggest challenges of the Spring?


- Midwest Mom

Super Quick Turbo-Cleaning Tips

~Your mother-in-law just called. She's "dropping in" for tea in a half hour.

~Your son announces that he's invited a friend for dinner. Tonight.

~Your husband calls. The guys are coming by for a beer after work.

~You just got home from a rough day at the office. The calendar tells you that book club is tonight -- and it's at your house!


You look around you and see an ocean of clutter.

You ask yourself, Why don't people just put things away?

Don't panic. We've all been there.

It's the problem with actually having human beings living in your house. I mean, I would challenge any home decorating magazine to photograph that lovely living room on the cover after my children had been set loose in it for 15 minutes. I bet their readers would be surprised at the transformation. Better yet, we could televise the metamorphosis as a new reality show called "School-Kid Room Makeover: Clutter Edition".

But the clock is ticking!
You've got to get this place cleaned up!

Tip #1: Vacuum and dust at the same time. A quick vacuuming job does wonders, but why stop at floors? Slap on an attachment to quick clean ceiling fan blades or dust the mantle. (Take care not to suck up that photo of Great Aunt Winifred or the glazed clay dinosaur your husband made in kindergarten!)

Tip #2: Choose a gathering place for Clutter. As you vacuum each room, choose a table that you can throw "loose items" onto. In our house, that usually means the Han Solo Ice Planet Hoth Action Figure that was defending the dining room table, one pink sock that had been sticking out from under the couch (that's where it was!), and yesterday's mail, newspaper, and 17 fliers from school that were scattered around the kitchen. Choose a central location as you clean and just pile up that clutter!

Tip #3: Use Laundry baskets for more than Laundry. Once the floors are picked up and the clutter is centralized, I make a run from room to room with a laundry basket. Clutter goes in and either A) gets put in its place when I get to the next room, or B) holy mother of heaven they're going to be here in 2 minutes! ...so into the closet goes the clutter basket. It's true. I do it. (Don't you dare check my closets next time you're over unexpectedly!) Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Tip #4: Give hard surfaces a Lick and a Promise. Ever heard of Clorox wipes? Love 'em. They are made for situations like this. A greener alternative is to have a damp cloth, a dry cloth, and a bottle of eco-friendly cleaner ready under your sink. Take a quick run through each room looking for jelly fingerprints, dirty light switches, face-prints on the windows, or toothpaste spit onto the bathroom mirror. Ew. Wipe down counters, door knobs, faucet handles, and anywhere else that grime rears its ugly "this is our house and we live in it" head. (Also, ever since Mr. Clean graced the world with his handy Magic Eraser, my love for him as increased tenfold.) You can always do a better clean-up job later when you have time. For now, a quick clean is enough.

Tip #5: Don't just use your eyes -- use your sniffer. Have you been cooking cabbage today? Open the window! Does your garbage can smell like a stink bomb? Take that bag out to the garage. (Or if you don't think your guests will need to use it, take the whole can out there!) And, have mercy on us all! Hubby's running shoes must be moved from the front hallway!

Tip #6: Use products that do more than one thing. Next time you're shopping, look for products that can do more than one thing. Swiffer Wet can clean a dusty floor and deodorize a room. Putting a dryer sheet in your vacuum bag can do the same thing. Some Green cleaners can be diluted to different concentrations to fit a variety of cleaning tasks. There is nothing wrong with saving labor -- especially when you're tight on time!

And finally...

Tip #7: Marshal the troops! When time is tight, everyone in the house should be helping to get things ship-shape. Ask your sons to clean up their toys and books from the clutter depot. Ask your spouse to put dishes in the dishwasher. Ask your daughter to assemble some snacks and drinks for your guests. And don't forget to schedule in 2 minutes for yourself when all the work is done, to change into a shirt with no spit-up and brush your hair. (If you have time, a glass of wine wouldn't hurt, either!)

Take a deep breath... Whew! You're done.

You can slap on a welcoming smile and answer that door.



- Midwest Mom

Going Green: Today, I Moved A Mountain!

Thanks to those of you who encouraged me to get out in the garden and get the job done this week. We've had terrific weather, and I've gotten quite a bit done!

My children begin their fall break today and are off for three weeks. So, now that we are finally lighter on the schedule (the boys' teachers have run me ragged lately!) I can spend a little time each day getting the garden chores done one by one.

I started three days ago with the toughest job of all: ridding my front garden of a certain ground cover called "Snow on the Mountain".

In the Spring, Snow on the Mountain is one of the first foliage plants to fill out. It has variegated leaves of pale green and white that make a beautiful mound wherever it is growing. Delicate white flowers grow on tall, slender stalks that poke up out of the mountain of leaves (thus, "snow" on the mountain!)

However, in the heat of Summer, the leaves brown horribly and the matted root-mass of this ground cover spreads into parts of the garden you never intended it to be. Now that Fall is here, sprouts of the stuff are coming up in and around almost all of my shrubs.

To remove this garden-hydra, I have had to use a spade to dig up the top 3-4 inches of soil throughout my garden and sift out the bean-sprout-like roots. In some places, they were thickly interwoven enough that the top layer of dirt came up like a carpet.

After three days of intermittent work, I think I finally got the last of it this morning.

Hallelujah!

Now comes the task of making sure the roots of the remaining shrubs are well-cared for. I will mix peat into the soil and start watering and feeding them to prepare for the cold weather. In the process, I may even put in some tulip and crocus bulbs to brighten our Spring.

- Midwest Mom

Going Green: Diary of a Lazy Gardener

I will admit it -- this time of year, I am an incredibly lazy gardener.

The gardening season begins so auspiciously for me. As soon as the sun is capable of warming the skin -- even for five minutes in February -- I get the itch to garden. It is as though my mind has a photosynthetic switch. I start going through seed catalogs and digging through last year's hastily stacked seedling trays. I start 8,000 different types of seeds, mostly flowers, but now also vegetables. I get them going under full-spectrum artificial light in the basement, misting them with water 2-3 times a day. My seedlings are like nested eggs waiting to hatch. When they do, I spend the month of April planning exactly how I can possible cram all 7,999 (one didn't germinate; I wonder why?) into my garden.

May is spent hardening seedlings, preparing them for the harsh reality known as the outside world. I introduce them to a lovely thing called sunshine. They usually love it. Around Mother's Day, I am ready to plant. The rest of the month is spent feeding and tending and watering to ease the transition from the crib to the nursery.

June is every gardener's golden month. The first fruits of the garden are harvested with enthusiasm and eaten at the very first opportunity. Flowers abound and the myriad shades of green that greet the eye wherever it may rest are in themselves fulfilling. The weeding is done religiously. There is not a plant out of place.

July is equally abundant, but the heat of the Illinois summer begins to nudge us indoors. The helping hands that had been so willing at planting time would rather be splashing in the pool or waving wildly as my children run through the sprinkler.

In August and September, I finally succumb to the wonder that is summer. My relentless pursuit of weeds, my insistence that watering follow a schedule, my careful measuring of the week's growth are forgotten in favor of the rigors of fun. To weed in August is pure asceticism.

And now September is drawing to a close, and after two months of walking from the house to the car with blinders on -- except to notice the pleasant surprises gardening has to offer, like our many 'volunteer' butterfly bushes or the delicious yellow cherry tomato plant that is flourishing, but that I most certainly did not plant -- I must force myself to open my eyes to the flood of fall garden chores that certainly face me.

This week promises to be a last breath of summer, and I am on the horns of a dilemma. Do I step backward and pretend September never happened? Or do I look at the jumbled chaos that is my late summer garden and dig in to the long work ahead?

I must admit, I am undecided. The idle person inside me could again claw her way to the surface.

Then again, she just might be too lazy to claw. Maybe she'll just mosey.

- Midwest Mom

Overwhelmed By The Schedule

Do you ever have those times when you feel like "the schedule" is in charge of you instead of the other way around? Lately, I have been going crazy with work. There are fall chores to get done in the house and garden, school activities to coordinate, volunteer commitments to keep, soccer practices, dance classes, religion classes, and tomorrow is my daughter's third birthday.

I need a vacation.

I find myself daydreaming about sleeping late or playing hookie from activities. I mean, why can't I just be the irresponsible one for a change? But then a friend in crisis calls me, and on top of everything else I am doing, I have to run to the rescue. At 10 p.m. some days, I am still folding laundry.

(Did I mention that I need a vacation?)

What about a facial? Or a weekend away, just by myself? Could that be possible? What about a solo shopping trip? (and no, I don't mean shopping for groceries!)

So, short of drinking myself into oblivion or running away, what are my options? When will the weight of "the schedule" be off my shoulders? (I'm sure those of you with older children are chuckling and saying, "umm, not for a long long time.")

Maybe I'm just missing the carefree simplicity of Summer. I love the natural feel of our summer schedule, and it always seemed like we fit a lot into each summer day. The difference is that I was the one deciding, along with my children, what kind of fun we would have together. Now that everything is school and activities, other people get to tell me when to be where and how long to stay. I hate that.

Maybe I just need an attitude adjustment. I need to get in the fall mindset. So, what do I love about fall?

• I love the cool feel that clean sheets have when you get into bed. I even like the winter feeling of cold, where you need a couple minutes for the bed to "warm up".
• I love the bright blue of the sky, especially when the sugar maples across the street are in full color -- yellows, oranges, reds.
• I love the smell of fallen leaves and even the little brown roly-poly bugs that live in them if you let them lay on the lawn for too long.
• I love fall foods -- soups and stews and pumpkin pie. The best comfort food in the world is cooked in our house during this season. Apples and cider are favorites. And hot potato soup. Just the thought of it makes my mouth water.
• My hair finally looks good in the fall. I have such humidity hair, but this time of year, it gets smooth and shiny -- like a Pantene commercial. I love it.

Well, that does it. I guess the power of positive mental attitude is proven again. I actually do feel a little bit better.

And maybe I'll take the whole day tomorrow to just spend with my daughter. No chores or work or distractions -- just us.

Yep. That'll do the trick.

- Midwest Mom

Chores or No Chores?

... That is the question.

Have you ever visited a friend who works outside the home (and whose children are in daycare) and been really discouraged because their house looks like a page from a magazine? That is so not my house. Why? Umm... we live here. So, sometimes things get messy. When you have three children, that's life, I guess.

Usually, I feel like I can keep up with things. There are those times, though, when I feel like Cinderella minus the Fairy Godmother. Then I think of my own mother, who had six children to chase after, six schedules to keep straight, and six clutter bugs leaving their "droppings" in every room of the house. She's either a Saint or she was crazy -- or both.

But, she had a way to get a little help around the house. It's a little something we like to call chores.

My mom's chore system was a complex affair. It was well-designed for maximum efficiency and completely even distribution of work. She labeled the kitchen chairs with numbers, 1 through 6. Each chair was assigned a household chore, like vacuuming or dusting or cleaning the bathroom, and a kitchen chore, like setting the table or loading the dishwasher. We rotated chairs each week. That way, there could never be the argument that one child "got off easy" or that a "favorite" chore was always assigned to the same child. It worked like clockwork.

But I know myself. A system like hers is completely beyond me. Now that I have my own children, my mom's chore system may as well be advanced particle physics or nuclear engineering. It would be nice to have a fully functioning team of professional cleaners, masquerading as elementary school students. But I don't have the discipline to make it happen. I just parent differently.

This year, I thought, "I have a 7, 5, and almost 3 year old. I need something simple." So, I came up with a more basic system that fits our family's needs (and gives me a little bit of a break!)

As part of our daily routine, we spend a little time at the beginning and end of each day tidying up the house. In the morning, there are chores like vacuuming or sweeping the floor. There are the morning dishes to load in the dishwasher, bathrooms to tidy, laundry to sort. The jobs are different each day, and there are some that lend themselves easily to helping hands. Those are the chores I share with the kids.

When they moan in that sing-songy voice, with a tinge of desperation (you know you've heard it), "WHY do we ALways HAVE to HELP??" I explain that they are members of this family, and I am not the only one who has to work around here -- maybe a little more wicked stepmother than Cinderella in my voice. On their best days, they fall in line and give a little effort.

Once in a while, though, they present me with a golden opportunity that cannot be passed up.

At those times, their response to my chore request will be, "Mom, can I earn some money today?" I make it a practice always to reward initiative. "Yes!" I say, with a smile. "I have four chores that need to be done. Each one will earn you a quarter." How many chores my children take on is up to them. We make a verbal contract for the work, I show them how to do it, and once it is complete, they submit it for inspection. If their work passes muster, I pay them. If they've done an exceptional job, I may give them a bonus. All money they earn goes into their piggy banks.

My oldest son loves to earn money for his bank. He likes the jingle of the coins, so I usually pay him in change. After he has completed his chores, he will count all the money in his bank before putting it away. As a result of his enthusiasm, my 5-year-old is catching on. Often, he will ask to clean, too. I give him chores that are difficult for me, but easy for him -- like crawling under the beds and making sure they are clear of toys and books and whatever else. He likes to use the swiffer, so I will attach a dust cloth to it and send him out after the dust bunnies. We use a lot of Clorox wipes or Pledge wipes. My kids can dust with the best of 'em. Often, they will catch things that I miss -- like the dusty bottom rungs of the dining room chairs. Even my little girl has asked for jobs. I give her basic clean-up jobs like putting all the books on the bookshelf (worth a nickel) or lining up all the shoes in pairs (a dime).

Not every clean-up session is a chance to earn money. The children are responsible for putting their dirty clothes in the laundry and making their beds each morning. When we get up from the table, each child cleans off their own place. Clean clothes must be put into a child's bureau before bedtime. And the children try each day to clean up their toys before Daddy gets home. ... not that that always happens.

When we're cleaning the house, I help where I can and try to keep my youngest focused on the task at hand. From time to time, though, I am busy with one of the other thousands of jobs assigned to me (not earning a dime, I might add.) So, I just give the children a task and set a time-limit. "Clean the playroom, please. I will be back in ten minutes to check your work." I check in on them as the time goes by to help them focus and divide up tasks, but they do the work themselves. It is fun to see how proud they are of having accomplished something without my help.

It's also fun for me to spend less time tidying up after them.

I tell my kids, "we work together so we can play together." As a reward, we'll go to the park or go play in the sprinkler or go on a bike ride.

Does the system work perfectly every time? Of course it doesn't. My house gets messy, just like anyone's. But having the kids help with chores does make me feel a little bit less like Cinderella all the time. I hope it is teaching my children about teamwork, responsibility, and taking pride in their work. I think it is.

Maybe I'll ask them when I'm done cleaning the bathtub.

.