On Illini Family Politics, I wrote an article, "Why We Parents Must Vote," that states part of my case for voting this year. I have a special message for moms, though. Your voice, in particular, needs to be heard in this election.
As a mother, I am convinced that this presidential election is a pivotal event for our nation. For me, it represents the opportunity to bring our priorities as moms to the forefront of the national agenda. Education, health care, and an end to the war in Iraq are important to me. I am also firmly committed to social justice and alleviating poverty. The economy, energy policy, protecting the environment are vital to our future -- to my children's future. These are my priorities. I understand they are not shared by all. Still, they are the issues that are important to me and important to my family.
I send a message about my priorities by voting.
I have voted in every election since I turned 18. I even bring my children to the polls. They have never been unwelcome (in fact, they are usually doted upon by the wonderful volunteers at our local polling station.) My children enjoy the outing, and learn something in the process. Even if we have to wait in line, there is always a sense that they are being involved in important work -- the work of our country.
If you feel uncomfortable bringing your children to the polls, you can vote while they are in school. If you have preschoolers, you can arrange to meet other moms you trust at the polls and rotate who goes in to vote and who keeps the children playing outside. Polling places are often schools or community centers with places for children to play. But if the weather is bad, bring them in with you. Having children is an important part of who a mom is; there is no reason that they would not be welcome, provided they respect what is going on inside. So, talk to them and take this rare opportunity to teach them something they can learn best from you.
If your child is sick, there has never been a better reason to get an impromptu babysitter. Do not be afraid to ask. I have watched neighbors' children so that they could vote. Call grandma to come over for a half hour to give you the opportunity to go to the polls. Trust me, she will say "yes."
When moms vote, we tell our government how we want it to run for the next four years. In addition to the presidential race, there are local races that will have a direct effect on our lives in our states, cities, and towns. Moms voices need to be heard nationally and locally. Don't just be a bystander.
So, please vote. Your views are so important. Take a break from work, or the kids, or the grandkids, make an appointment to make your voice heard.
VOTE.
Showing posts with label schools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label schools. Show all posts
Monday, November 3, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
I Can't Stand being Grounded!
This week, I have been 'grounded' by a non-working vehicle. It has been a royal pain. But, in the spirit of positivity, I'm trying to find ways to look on the bright side.
It isn't easy.
Still, I thought it would be good to list a few positives I've noticed from the week.
1) I have paid $0 in gas this week. (We won't go into how much the repair will cost... remember, I'm thinking positive.)
2) My daughter and I have taken walks every day through the neighborhood and to our local playground. It has been good to be out, and I find that we talk more and discover more together when we're walking than we ever do when I'm trying to drive the car safely.
3) My husband will not get upset about anything I've purchased this week. I didn't go shopping.
4) When we had soccer practice, the whole family biked there. I had my 5 year old and 2(almost 3) year old in the bike trailer. Can you say, Buns of Steel?
5) We have gotten into the habit of the boys riding to and from school on the bus. It isn't as tough as I thought it would be to get out of the house on time, and our bus driver told us to come to the corner about 10 minutes later than we thought, so the kids don't have to cross a busy street. (Have I mentioned I love our bus driver?)
and, finally
6) There has been absolutely no wasted food this week. What a meal planner I am when I can't just pick up and go to the grocery store! Perhaps I'll write a cookbook called, "Creative Leftovers: What to cook when your car konks out".
It's sure to be a best seller.
I wonder whether I can get my repair shop to carry it?
It isn't easy.
Still, I thought it would be good to list a few positives I've noticed from the week.
1) I have paid $0 in gas this week. (We won't go into how much the repair will cost... remember, I'm thinking positive.)
2) My daughter and I have taken walks every day through the neighborhood and to our local playground. It has been good to be out, and I find that we talk more and discover more together when we're walking than we ever do when I'm trying to drive the car safely.
3) My husband will not get upset about anything I've purchased this week. I didn't go shopping.
4) When we had soccer practice, the whole family biked there. I had my 5 year old and 2(almost 3) year old in the bike trailer. Can you say, Buns of Steel?
5) We have gotten into the habit of the boys riding to and from school on the bus. It isn't as tough as I thought it would be to get out of the house on time, and our bus driver told us to come to the corner about 10 minutes later than we thought, so the kids don't have to cross a busy street. (Have I mentioned I love our bus driver?)
and, finally
6) There has been absolutely no wasted food this week. What a meal planner I am when I can't just pick up and go to the grocery store! Perhaps I'll write a cookbook called, "Creative Leftovers: What to cook when your car konks out".
It's sure to be a best seller.
I wonder whether I can get my repair shop to carry it?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
We all have Clingons from Time to Time
Recently, a friend of mine asked a question about her 18 month-old and the issue of "clinging". You know what I mean -- when you bring your brood to that family gathering and there is one child who must be surgically detached from your leg. Or when your name is called desperately throughout the house because you dared to go down to the laundry room and switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer.
"Whew! Mom! I didn't know where you WERE!"
Yes. It happens to all of us.
While I can't claim to have an instant solution to a case of the Clingons, I can make a few suggestions:
1) Play games about absence. Believe it or not, games like Peek-a-Boo and indoor Hide-And-Seek really do teach young children to cope with being alone, even for short periods of time. The more your child can "play" with the issue of their independence, the easier it will be for them to handle your everyday need for space.
2) Start with short absences. By telling your child where you are going -- even in the house -- and when you will be back, you are teaching them to trust that you mean what you say and that you will, in fact, come back. A very young child does need to know that your disappearance into the kitchen to make dinner will not be permanent abandonment. At the same time, parents should understand that children may not like it when you are not there. (That comes much later, believe me!) If you are gentle, reassuring, and consistent in informing them about what to expect, you will help them prepare for longer absences like doctor's appointments, lunch with a friend, or (dare-I-say-it) a date with Daddy.
3) Build trust in other people. Sometimes, there can be an enormous emotional payoff in being your child's "one-and-only". Comforting a crying child by taking him or her from Daddy or Auntie or Grandma is not always the best option. This is especially true when a young child shows a preference for one parent over the other. It can be very easy for "the favorite" to play the role of comforter. But it may be better to stand aside and let your child build a stronger bond with others. Saying, "You're fine. Daddy's going to give you your bath today." or "I'm right here, but Grandma's going to read a story. Let's listen together," is a great way to reassure your child.
When you show your trust in others' ability to care for your child, you set a powerful example for your baby about trust itself. When you practice "sharing" your child with other caring adults, you give him or her a zone of comfort and let them know they have more than one person to rely on. That lesson will stay with them as they grow older and enter a day care or school situation.
4.) Approach big occasions with sensitivity. Of course, meeting 50 people at a family reunion is intimidating. That's why even some adults shy away from those gatherings! We have made a practice of going to big events with friends or cousins that our children really know. Approaching a crowd with friends alongside helps to make meetings easier. We also plan to arrive early, so that new people are introduced one at a time. And we stay only as long as our schedule allows -- not until our children are out of their minds with tiredness.
The more practice your child gets at handling your absence or meeting new people, the more confident he or she can become at her own independence. I have one child, in particular, who went through a prolonged shy phase, right when entering preschool. It helped to introduce one friend at a time each day we were at school. When my child focused on only one new friend every day or two, we soon found that there was a whole class full of friends to enjoy.
- Midwest Mom
"Whew! Mom! I didn't know where you WERE!"
Yes. It happens to all of us.
While I can't claim to have an instant solution to a case of the Clingons, I can make a few suggestions:
1) Play games about absence. Believe it or not, games like Peek-a-Boo and indoor Hide-And-Seek really do teach young children to cope with being alone, even for short periods of time. The more your child can "play" with the issue of their independence, the easier it will be for them to handle your everyday need for space.
2) Start with short absences. By telling your child where you are going -- even in the house -- and when you will be back, you are teaching them to trust that you mean what you say and that you will, in fact, come back. A very young child does need to know that your disappearance into the kitchen to make dinner will not be permanent abandonment. At the same time, parents should understand that children may not like it when you are not there. (That comes much later, believe me!) If you are gentle, reassuring, and consistent in informing them about what to expect, you will help them prepare for longer absences like doctor's appointments, lunch with a friend, or (dare-I-say-it) a date with Daddy.
3) Build trust in other people. Sometimes, there can be an enormous emotional payoff in being your child's "one-and-only". Comforting a crying child by taking him or her from Daddy or Auntie or Grandma is not always the best option. This is especially true when a young child shows a preference for one parent over the other. It can be very easy for "the favorite" to play the role of comforter. But it may be better to stand aside and let your child build a stronger bond with others. Saying, "You're fine. Daddy's going to give you your bath today." or "I'm right here, but Grandma's going to read a story. Let's listen together," is a great way to reassure your child.
When you show your trust in others' ability to care for your child, you set a powerful example for your baby about trust itself. When you practice "sharing" your child with other caring adults, you give him or her a zone of comfort and let them know they have more than one person to rely on. That lesson will stay with them as they grow older and enter a day care or school situation.
4.) Approach big occasions with sensitivity. Of course, meeting 50 people at a family reunion is intimidating. That's why even some adults shy away from those gatherings! We have made a practice of going to big events with friends or cousins that our children really know. Approaching a crowd with friends alongside helps to make meetings easier. We also plan to arrive early, so that new people are introduced one at a time. And we stay only as long as our schedule allows -- not until our children are out of their minds with tiredness.
The more practice your child gets at handling your absence or meeting new people, the more confident he or she can become at her own independence. I have one child, in particular, who went through a prolonged shy phase, right when entering preschool. It helped to introduce one friend at a time each day we were at school. When my child focused on only one new friend every day or two, we soon found that there was a whole class full of friends to enjoy.
- Midwest Mom
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Test Anxiety
My son's second grade class started standardized testing today. They are taking the Iowa Test of Basic Skills [ITBS] and a test called the CogAT.
I first found out about the testing because a note was sent home on Friday. "Please do not schedule your child for any doctors appointments next week," I was told. "We will be testing." The note went on to say which tests and when. I read it twice.
Quite frankly, I was shocked and a little bit worried. Would my son even know how to do a test like that? What if he reads the question wrong or doesn't understand the instructions? And isn't this a bit young for us to be measuring students this way??
I called the school. The line was busy. Maybe I wasn't the only one who had concerns.
Testing only two weeks into school is a change for our school system. Usually, standardized tests are given in the Spring. The results are used to re-tool the curriculum for the new school year and to place children in gifted programs.
A quick search of the internet -- I wanted to find out what, exactly, these tests were all about -- plunged me into a quagmire of message boards where frantic parents were asking the same questions. Some were convinced that "a bad day" would doom their child. Others wanted to know how to "beat the system." It didn't take long for me to realize this was not the way to find answers.
On Monday, I spoke to my child's teacher. She let me know that the decision to test and when came from our school district, not the school itself. I spoke with the principal, who informed me that the scoring of the tests takes into account the year and month in which they were taken. That was a relief to me -- it means that our just-out-of-first-grade bunch won't be compared to their ready-for-third-grade counterparts.
My next job was to prepare my child. We talked about taking "fill in the dot" tests. I told my son to relax and just do his best. I make sure he got an extra half-hour of sleep last night and gave him a breakfast with extra protein so he wouldn't get tired. I explained that it was okay to leave a problem he had trouble with and come back to it later in the test and that it was okay if he looked at a problem and was stumped.
"You know, Mom. I've never had a problem with that before," he said in a tone of voice that made him sound twenty years older than he is. "I'm pretty smart, you know."
Yeah, I know.
What was it I was worried about, again?
Midwest Mom
I first found out about the testing because a note was sent home on Friday. "Please do not schedule your child for any doctors appointments next week," I was told. "We will be testing." The note went on to say which tests and when. I read it twice.
Quite frankly, I was shocked and a little bit worried. Would my son even know how to do a test like that? What if he reads the question wrong or doesn't understand the instructions? And isn't this a bit young for us to be measuring students this way??
I called the school. The line was busy. Maybe I wasn't the only one who had concerns.
Testing only two weeks into school is a change for our school system. Usually, standardized tests are given in the Spring. The results are used to re-tool the curriculum for the new school year and to place children in gifted programs.
A quick search of the internet -- I wanted to find out what, exactly, these tests were all about -- plunged me into a quagmire of message boards where frantic parents were asking the same questions. Some were convinced that "a bad day" would doom their child. Others wanted to know how to "beat the system." It didn't take long for me to realize this was not the way to find answers.
On Monday, I spoke to my child's teacher. She let me know that the decision to test and when came from our school district, not the school itself. I spoke with the principal, who informed me that the scoring of the tests takes into account the year and month in which they were taken. That was a relief to me -- it means that our just-out-of-first-grade bunch won't be compared to their ready-for-third-grade counterparts.
My next job was to prepare my child. We talked about taking "fill in the dot" tests. I told my son to relax and just do his best. I make sure he got an extra half-hour of sleep last night and gave him a breakfast with extra protein so he wouldn't get tired. I explained that it was okay to leave a problem he had trouble with and come back to it later in the test and that it was okay if he looked at a problem and was stumped.
"You know, Mom. I've never had a problem with that before," he said in a tone of voice that made him sound twenty years older than he is. "I'm pretty smart, you know."
Yeah, I know.
What was it I was worried about, again?
Midwest Mom
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
More Ways to Save Gas and Money
Earlier this summer, our family began a concerted effort to save money on gasoline. We didn't take a vacation this year and even tried to grocery shop by bicycle whenever possible. To be honest, the bicycle grocery trips were few -- they were more of an adventure than a practical way to do my shopping. But it was nice to have the option to pick up a few things while we were out instead of driving the car.
The result of our summer conservation push was that I was able to fill up once or twice a month, putting my gasoline budget at around $100/month. Considering that it had been about three times that before prices shot through the roof, I consider the summer effort a success.
But now, we're getting into the school year. There will be different demands on our schedule and the weather has the potential to ruin the bike plan. Like today. It's pouring.
The busy first week of school proved to me that I needed an action plan -- one week, one tank of gas was not going to work for our wallet. Here's my solution:
1) Use the bus: All parents want to be as accessible to and supportive of their children as possible. As a result, many of us drive them to and from school. I am trying to cut down on my driving, though, so I have decided to let the kids ride home on the school bus. Yesterday was their first day to try it, and they loved it.
2) Make a plan: Because I still want to see my children off in the morning, I have planned my volunteer time at the beginning of the school day. It makes the most of my trip and helps the school at the same time. On the way home, I stop at the grocery store closest to the school. It is a discount chain (Save-A-Lot), so it saves a bit of green as well.
3) Bundle your errands: I am trying my best to shop only once a week (with a family of five, that's a stretch), so it pays to "bundle" errands. Aldi, another discount grocery chain, is a little farther out of town, so I save errands in that part of town for a day when I am on my way there. By doing those jobs all at once (I keep a running list, so I don't forget any), I can pack in several errands and use the car as little as possible. Aldi is out of town, so gas prices are a little lower in that neighborhood, too. So while I'm there, why not fill up and save a dime a gallon?
4) Carpool: I spoke with a friend of mine who lives 40 minutes away but works here in town. She will be carpooling for the first time in 15 years, even though several of her coworkers live close to her home. I have to say, it is such a smart decision. Yes, there will be times when you will miss the convenience of having your car waiting outside. But if you think about the money you will save by conserving gas, I'm betting the trade-off will be worth it.
If you have room in your car, it may even be worth it to run errands with a friend. Shopping with a girlfriend does not have to be a rare thing. Think about how much more fun it will be to go to Walmart and be able to chat or have your child visit with a friend while you shop. In the age of the minivan, it's a shame to waste all that extra space.
So, good luck winning the wallet battle. It's tough out there right now for those of us managing our family budgets. With a little planning and good choices, though, saving money may not be as tough as you think.
Midwest Mom
.
The result of our summer conservation push was that I was able to fill up once or twice a month, putting my gasoline budget at around $100/month. Considering that it had been about three times that before prices shot through the roof, I consider the summer effort a success.
But now, we're getting into the school year. There will be different demands on our schedule and the weather has the potential to ruin the bike plan. Like today. It's pouring.
The busy first week of school proved to me that I needed an action plan -- one week, one tank of gas was not going to work for our wallet. Here's my solution:
1) Use the bus: All parents want to be as accessible to and supportive of their children as possible. As a result, many of us drive them to and from school. I am trying to cut down on my driving, though, so I have decided to let the kids ride home on the school bus. Yesterday was their first day to try it, and they loved it.
2) Make a plan: Because I still want to see my children off in the morning, I have planned my volunteer time at the beginning of the school day. It makes the most of my trip and helps the school at the same time. On the way home, I stop at the grocery store closest to the school. It is a discount chain (Save-A-Lot), so it saves a bit of green as well.
3) Bundle your errands: I am trying my best to shop only once a week (with a family of five, that's a stretch), so it pays to "bundle" errands. Aldi, another discount grocery chain, is a little farther out of town, so I save errands in that part of town for a day when I am on my way there. By doing those jobs all at once (I keep a running list, so I don't forget any), I can pack in several errands and use the car as little as possible. Aldi is out of town, so gas prices are a little lower in that neighborhood, too. So while I'm there, why not fill up and save a dime a gallon?
4) Carpool: I spoke with a friend of mine who lives 40 minutes away but works here in town. She will be carpooling for the first time in 15 years, even though several of her coworkers live close to her home. I have to say, it is such a smart decision. Yes, there will be times when you will miss the convenience of having your car waiting outside. But if you think about the money you will save by conserving gas, I'm betting the trade-off will be worth it.
If you have room in your car, it may even be worth it to run errands with a friend. Shopping with a girlfriend does not have to be a rare thing. Think about how much more fun it will be to go to Walmart and be able to chat or have your child visit with a friend while you shop. In the age of the minivan, it's a shame to waste all that extra space.
So, good luck winning the wallet battle. It's tough out there right now for those of us managing our family budgets. With a little planning and good choices, though, saving money may not be as tough as you think.
Midwest Mom
.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Kindergarten Chaos Theory
During the first week of school, there is no crazier place than the lunchroom. And once the novelty and strangeness of school wears off, there is no wilder group than kindergartners.
Today was the third full day of school for my son and his kindergarten classmates. The group is getting to know one another -- I've already been showered with stories about new friends or students who 'push the envelope', so to speak. On the first day, our teacher mentioned that parents should plan on helping out in the lunchroom. Yesterday, I was one of four or five parents who showed up. Today, it was just me.
Wrangling my son's lively class into an unfamiliar cafeteria 'assembly line' was like putting chickens into a pen. As soon as I would get a few doing what they needed to do, others would get distracted or stray. Getting them to sit down and start eating was equally challenging.
A few of them tasted the food and held me responsible. "I don't like this," I was told with a look that meant an alternative should be produced at once. I apologized and told the students that they should just try to eat enough to get them through the afternoon without being hungry. As a result, several children ate lime jello and chocolate milk and called it a day.
One child who brought a meal from home ate fruit snacks and juice for lunch. I suggested that his parents had sent him with a sandwich and that he should consider eating it instead of candy. I was told, "This isn't candy; they're fruit snacks." Yeah. Right. That's a clever bit of marketing if I ever heard it.
But, dietary choices aside, lunchroom behavior was moderately suppressed chaos. It was loud and crazy, with kids constantly moving to and from tables.
At one point, I praised a kindergartner who was doing a great job eating and behaving. He proceeded to cover his eyes and start yelling gibberish at the top of his lungs. "What are you doing?" I demanded. He responded that he was done with his lunch, so he was having some fun. "You should see my brother. He's four. He yells and runs around naked sometimes," he continued. "That's not appropriate behavior for school," I told him in measured tones. "Okay," he shrugged and turned to talk to the boy next to him as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
I joked with a teacher-friend as I finished my volunteer time that I could never do this for a living. "You guys don't get paid enough!" I said. She responded by saying I should run for a seat on the school board. We both laughed.
But, now that I think about it, that's not a bad idea. Maybe we should require that the people who will make decisions about teacher pay spend a few hours volunteering in the lunchroom during the first week of school. I can think of no better place to gain an appreciation for the people who make our schools really work. The teachers I saw today were patient and kind and professional in spite of the chaos.
After one hour, I felt like I needed a nap.
Midwest Mom
Today was the third full day of school for my son and his kindergarten classmates. The group is getting to know one another -- I've already been showered with stories about new friends or students who 'push the envelope', so to speak. On the first day, our teacher mentioned that parents should plan on helping out in the lunchroom. Yesterday, I was one of four or five parents who showed up. Today, it was just me.
Wrangling my son's lively class into an unfamiliar cafeteria 'assembly line' was like putting chickens into a pen. As soon as I would get a few doing what they needed to do, others would get distracted or stray. Getting them to sit down and start eating was equally challenging.
A few of them tasted the food and held me responsible. "I don't like this," I was told with a look that meant an alternative should be produced at once. I apologized and told the students that they should just try to eat enough to get them through the afternoon without being hungry. As a result, several children ate lime jello and chocolate milk and called it a day.
One child who brought a meal from home ate fruit snacks and juice for lunch. I suggested that his parents had sent him with a sandwich and that he should consider eating it instead of candy. I was told, "This isn't candy; they're fruit snacks." Yeah. Right. That's a clever bit of marketing if I ever heard it.
But, dietary choices aside, lunchroom behavior was moderately suppressed chaos. It was loud and crazy, with kids constantly moving to and from tables.
At one point, I praised a kindergartner who was doing a great job eating and behaving. He proceeded to cover his eyes and start yelling gibberish at the top of his lungs. "What are you doing?" I demanded. He responded that he was done with his lunch, so he was having some fun. "You should see my brother. He's four. He yells and runs around naked sometimes," he continued. "That's not appropriate behavior for school," I told him in measured tones. "Okay," he shrugged and turned to talk to the boy next to him as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
I joked with a teacher-friend as I finished my volunteer time that I could never do this for a living. "You guys don't get paid enough!" I said. She responded by saying I should run for a seat on the school board. We both laughed.
But, now that I think about it, that's not a bad idea. Maybe we should require that the people who will make decisions about teacher pay spend a few hours volunteering in the lunchroom during the first week of school. I can think of no better place to gain an appreciation for the people who make our schools really work. The teachers I saw today were patient and kind and professional in spite of the chaos.
After one hour, I felt like I needed a nap.
Midwest Mom
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Fine Art of Letting Go
This post appears as promised -- although much delayed. It is difficult for me to write, but I will do my best.
* * * * *
This morning was Big D's first real day of kindergarten. By "real" I mean that I actually had to leave the room. Yesterday was the pictures and paperwork and the excitement of the new school clothes -- all for a two-hour session where there were as many parents as students.
But today... today was different.
Today I had to bring my beautiful boy to school and turn around and leave. It was clearly much more difficult for me than for him. He marched in with a hundred and fifty-three other kids armed with a smile and a Batman backpack. As I went to kiss his cheek at the kindergarten door, he squiggled away. "Not so fast!" I said, and I hugged him close. In he went and got to work without batting an eyelash. He strode up to the teacher right away to ask a question. His voice was strong. My right brain relaxed, assuring me He Will Be Okay.
I finished saying goodbye to the other parents I'd seen and made my way to the door. I was accompanied by my delighted two-year-old, whose secret dream of becoming an only child was seemingly coming true. She beamed and giggled at the thought that she didn't have to wait to get into the car or take a turn or share -- at least until 2 o'clock.
I buckled her in and started the car. As I was backing out of the parking lot, the feelings struck -- and the tears. There is nothing that feels so completely and utterly wrong as driving away from your child.
My memory of the drive home is a little hazy. I know I 'took the long way'. How long? Long enough for my youngest to ask where we were going. I was focused more on the cornflowers blooming on the side of the road and the corn tassels that particular shade of gold only they have. I sniffed and blinked and finally succumbed at a STOP sign.
I had worked so hard to prepare my boy -- I hadn't really prepared myself.
I wonder, sometimes, why I feel the way I do when my children pass a milestone. They are such a gift to me, and as full as our life is of joy at their growth, I know that every step will take them further from my protection. As proud as I am of him and his excitement at this first big step, as much as I count his teacher as a dear and trusted friend, and as long as I knew this day was coming, I was not prepared for the desolate emptiness of my heart at leaving him.
In his wisdom, my husband had decided to be home when I got there. The one person who would understand was the one person there to hug me until I had returned to myself. Always self-critical, I told him I didn't understand why I was being so emotional.
"It's natural," he told me, "you'll miss him." -- A simple explanation for a very complex feeling.
I will miss my baby.
When I picked him up this afternoon, and he regaled me with tales of songs and stories and the children in his new class, I had a faint glimmer of peace. His babyhood may be gone, but it will be fun to get to know the boy he is becoming.
Midwest Mom
* * * * *
This morning was Big D's first real day of kindergarten. By "real" I mean that I actually had to leave the room. Yesterday was the pictures and paperwork and the excitement of the new school clothes -- all for a two-hour session where there were as many parents as students.
But today... today was different.
Today I had to bring my beautiful boy to school and turn around and leave. It was clearly much more difficult for me than for him. He marched in with a hundred and fifty-three other kids armed with a smile and a Batman backpack. As I went to kiss his cheek at the kindergarten door, he squiggled away. "Not so fast!" I said, and I hugged him close. In he went and got to work without batting an eyelash. He strode up to the teacher right away to ask a question. His voice was strong. My right brain relaxed, assuring me He Will Be Okay.
I finished saying goodbye to the other parents I'd seen and made my way to the door. I was accompanied by my delighted two-year-old, whose secret dream of becoming an only child was seemingly coming true. She beamed and giggled at the thought that she didn't have to wait to get into the car or take a turn or share -- at least until 2 o'clock.
I buckled her in and started the car. As I was backing out of the parking lot, the feelings struck -- and the tears. There is nothing that feels so completely and utterly wrong as driving away from your child.
My memory of the drive home is a little hazy. I know I 'took the long way'. How long? Long enough for my youngest to ask where we were going. I was focused more on the cornflowers blooming on the side of the road and the corn tassels that particular shade of gold only they have. I sniffed and blinked and finally succumbed at a STOP sign.
I had worked so hard to prepare my boy -- I hadn't really prepared myself.
I wonder, sometimes, why I feel the way I do when my children pass a milestone. They are such a gift to me, and as full as our life is of joy at their growth, I know that every step will take them further from my protection. As proud as I am of him and his excitement at this first big step, as much as I count his teacher as a dear and trusted friend, and as long as I knew this day was coming, I was not prepared for the desolate emptiness of my heart at leaving him.
In his wisdom, my husband had decided to be home when I got there. The one person who would understand was the one person there to hug me until I had returned to myself. Always self-critical, I told him I didn't understand why I was being so emotional.
"It's natural," he told me, "you'll miss him." -- A simple explanation for a very complex feeling.
I will miss my baby.
When I picked him up this afternoon, and he regaled me with tales of songs and stories and the children in his new class, I had a faint glimmer of peace. His babyhood may be gone, but it will be fun to get to know the boy he is becoming.
Midwest Mom
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Getting Ready for Kindergarten
My 5-year old son starts kindergarten next Monday. So, this week, I have been busy getting him ready. We've gotten all the school supplies, gotten uniforms all squared away (yes, his public school has uniforms -- I love it, by the way), purchased and 'broken-in' new school shoes... But kindergarten success doesn't come in your freshly-sharpened set of No. 2 pencils. It isn't packed in your lunchbox...
So we have done a few extra things at our house to get ready:
Getting Down the Schedule:
One of the toughest things about starting school -- for my children -- has been the schedule. From early wake-up to eating by the clock, the regimentation of the school day has been a big challenge. To prepare, we spend the last two weeks of summer vacation on "school time". That means my children have been woken by their alarm clock. Our morning routine has mirrored what it will be on school days, with grooming and dressing and breakfast all completed in time to leave for school. Instead of the usual drive to school, I have rewarded the kids with a game or loaded them in the car for early morning shopping. I have worked rest into the schedule later in the day to help their bodies adjust.
Getting Ready for Lunch:
My oldest son and his kindergarten classmates had a difficult time with -- of all things -- lunch! There were packages to open, trays to balance, those crazy milk cartons. Many of them were overwhelmed. Kindergarten lunch was also the first experience many of the students had with eating on their own. There is no parent there to say, "hurry up!" or "eat your sandwich first, then your cookie!" To prepare for lunch, I have tried to give lunchtime foods all at once, so my son can choose what to eat when. I also have made him responsible for opening his own packaging -- yogurt lids, for instance -- so that he'll be able to do that without a problem later on. I also keep an eye on the clock and don't let the lunchtime meal at home last too long. If he's used to eating in a timely way at home, he'll be more likely to get the nutrition he needs to last all the way through the bus ride home.
Reading, Writing, and 'Rithmetic:
Okay, a kindergartener doesn't necessarily need to have a lot of academic skills. But whatever skills you can teach at home will help the teacher move the class forward. We have worked on reading and writing the alphabet and short words, writing my son's first and last name, and numbers 1-20. Every afternoon after lunch, we sit down and "play school". Spending this time together helps us work on holding the pencil correctly, listening and following directions, and sets the stage for us to work together on homework later on. Besides, I love the one-on-one time I have with him, and he loves the feeling of success he gets from showing me something new he's learned.
Teaching About Safety:
Finally, I am preparing my son by going over some very basic safety items. He knows his address and phone number. We have talked about a variety of situations that may arise at school. He knows who may pick him up in an emergency. We've also talked about friends and being responsible for your own behavior and choices. He knows that he has to evaluate a situation and decide what to do about it for himself, but that he also has a group of trusted adults who are ready to listen and help him when he needs it.
In our family, we talk about feelings a lot, and I've tried to make space for my son to share his excitement and fears about this new adventure. We've checked out kindergarten stories from the library and visited his school to make things feel familiar, even as they're so new. One theme I've noticed about most of the stories we've read is the hovering parents reluctant to leave the room. I know I'll be one of them -- I'm not ready to let my little guy go so soon.
...but that's a post for another day.
Midwest Mom
So we have done a few extra things at our house to get ready:
Getting Down the Schedule:
One of the toughest things about starting school -- for my children -- has been the schedule. From early wake-up to eating by the clock, the regimentation of the school day has been a big challenge. To prepare, we spend the last two weeks of summer vacation on "school time". That means my children have been woken by their alarm clock. Our morning routine has mirrored what it will be on school days, with grooming and dressing and breakfast all completed in time to leave for school. Instead of the usual drive to school, I have rewarded the kids with a game or loaded them in the car for early morning shopping. I have worked rest into the schedule later in the day to help their bodies adjust.
Getting Ready for Lunch:
My oldest son and his kindergarten classmates had a difficult time with -- of all things -- lunch! There were packages to open, trays to balance, those crazy milk cartons. Many of them were overwhelmed. Kindergarten lunch was also the first experience many of the students had with eating on their own. There is no parent there to say, "hurry up!" or "eat your sandwich first, then your cookie!" To prepare for lunch, I have tried to give lunchtime foods all at once, so my son can choose what to eat when. I also have made him responsible for opening his own packaging -- yogurt lids, for instance -- so that he'll be able to do that without a problem later on. I also keep an eye on the clock and don't let the lunchtime meal at home last too long. If he's used to eating in a timely way at home, he'll be more likely to get the nutrition he needs to last all the way through the bus ride home.
Reading, Writing, and 'Rithmetic:
Okay, a kindergartener doesn't necessarily need to have a lot of academic skills. But whatever skills you can teach at home will help the teacher move the class forward. We have worked on reading and writing the alphabet and short words, writing my son's first and last name, and numbers 1-20. Every afternoon after lunch, we sit down and "play school". Spending this time together helps us work on holding the pencil correctly, listening and following directions, and sets the stage for us to work together on homework later on. Besides, I love the one-on-one time I have with him, and he loves the feeling of success he gets from showing me something new he's learned.
Teaching About Safety:
Finally, I am preparing my son by going over some very basic safety items. He knows his address and phone number. We have talked about a variety of situations that may arise at school. He knows who may pick him up in an emergency. We've also talked about friends and being responsible for your own behavior and choices. He knows that he has to evaluate a situation and decide what to do about it for himself, but that he also has a group of trusted adults who are ready to listen and help him when he needs it.
In our family, we talk about feelings a lot, and I've tried to make space for my son to share his excitement and fears about this new adventure. We've checked out kindergarten stories from the library and visited his school to make things feel familiar, even as they're so new. One theme I've noticed about most of the stories we've read is the hovering parents reluctant to leave the room. I know I'll be one of them -- I'm not ready to let my little guy go so soon.
...but that's a post for another day.
Midwest Mom
Friday, June 6, 2008
Risk vs. Reward in Danville Politics
Recently, in the Danville Commercial-News letters to the editor there was an exchange between a supporter of Lori DeYoung for State Representative and our current State Representative, Bill Black. At issue was speculation over why Black had decided to campaign for re-election to his seat and whether he would remain in office long enough to complete his term.
The back-story to this exchange [view it at the Commercial-News link at right] is the departure from the race of Danville Mayor Scott Eisenhower. Eisenhower's aborted bid for statewide office came after he suggested the closure of one of the city's fire stations as a way to close the city budget gap. A major downtown fire in the midst of already contentious budget hearings proved to be the spark that brought smoldering opposition to the closure to the level of a conflagration. However reasonable his suggestion may have seemed to him at the time, and however many people were involved in finding solutions to the budget crisis, in the eyes of the public, the blame rested with Eisenhower. This time, his understanding of the political climate was more accurate, and he pulled out of the State Representative race.
For a Mayor who has brought so much to the Danville Area in recent years, this was truly a stroke of bad political luck. One wonders what sort of lesson has been learned.
Urban renewal is not an easy path to pursue. In recent years, the City of Danville has stepped up code enforcement and begun a program to raze delapidated structures in the city. Tax Increment Financing zones have been established to give business owners financial incentives to invest in their property. Eisenhower and city officials deserve credit for showing initiative and finding creative ways to keep Danville moving forward.
Finding creative ways to promote growth in tough economic times is not easy. It is not without risk. But there are families throughout the area who are dedicated to remaining here. We like living in a town with teachers who care about our kids, with ample youth sports, DACC college for kids, vibrant churches, beautiful parks, youth theater, a city orchestra, and neighborhoods where people help each other and know each other. You might think that these things have nothing to do with city government. They do.
City leaders have the task of creating a safe place for my family to live and thrive. The policies the Mayor and City Council pursue have a direct effect on my husband's work, my children's school, and the safety of our home. Families depend on the Police and Fire Fighters for our safety, but also those maintaining our roads, bridges, and parks. There is a lot to do to serve this population -- not at the state level, but at the local level. It is just as important, if not more so. And all Danville residents know, there is much more work to be done.
I would hope that Mayor Eisenhower has not been turned off of creative problem solving for our city. Courage is what we need from our public servants. And, perhaps a lack of perspective during a tough budget battle can be forgiven, if the Mayor can remain creative, energetic, and enthusiastic about serving this local community.
As for Representative Black and Ms. DeYoung... let's hope their debate will be more about issues and less about speculation. An honest issues-focused debate will best serve the voters as they make decisions about who to support in the fall.
*Note: This and future politics articles will be available at Illini Family Politics
http://ilfamilypolitics.blogspot.com/
.
The back-story to this exchange [view it at the Commercial-News link at right] is the departure from the race of Danville Mayor Scott Eisenhower. Eisenhower's aborted bid for statewide office came after he suggested the closure of one of the city's fire stations as a way to close the city budget gap. A major downtown fire in the midst of already contentious budget hearings proved to be the spark that brought smoldering opposition to the closure to the level of a conflagration. However reasonable his suggestion may have seemed to him at the time, and however many people were involved in finding solutions to the budget crisis, in the eyes of the public, the blame rested with Eisenhower. This time, his understanding of the political climate was more accurate, and he pulled out of the State Representative race.
For a Mayor who has brought so much to the Danville Area in recent years, this was truly a stroke of bad political luck. One wonders what sort of lesson has been learned.
Urban renewal is not an easy path to pursue. In recent years, the City of Danville has stepped up code enforcement and begun a program to raze delapidated structures in the city. Tax Increment Financing zones have been established to give business owners financial incentives to invest in their property. Eisenhower and city officials deserve credit for showing initiative and finding creative ways to keep Danville moving forward.
Finding creative ways to promote growth in tough economic times is not easy. It is not without risk. But there are families throughout the area who are dedicated to remaining here. We like living in a town with teachers who care about our kids, with ample youth sports, DACC college for kids, vibrant churches, beautiful parks, youth theater, a city orchestra, and neighborhoods where people help each other and know each other. You might think that these things have nothing to do with city government. They do.
City leaders have the task of creating a safe place for my family to live and thrive. The policies the Mayor and City Council pursue have a direct effect on my husband's work, my children's school, and the safety of our home. Families depend on the Police and Fire Fighters for our safety, but also those maintaining our roads, bridges, and parks. There is a lot to do to serve this population -- not at the state level, but at the local level. It is just as important, if not more so. And all Danville residents know, there is much more work to be done.
I would hope that Mayor Eisenhower has not been turned off of creative problem solving for our city. Courage is what we need from our public servants. And, perhaps a lack of perspective during a tough budget battle can be forgiven, if the Mayor can remain creative, energetic, and enthusiastic about serving this local community.
As for Representative Black and Ms. DeYoung... let's hope their debate will be more about issues and less about speculation. An honest issues-focused debate will best serve the voters as they make decisions about who to support in the fall.
*Note: This and future politics articles will be available at Illini Family Politics
http://ilfamilypolitics.blogspot.com/
.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)