The Art of Spoilsport Parenting

We've had a summer of plenty here on the homestead -- abundant rain, abundant sunshine on the garden (abundant weeds...), good friends and food, swimming and camping. It has been a golden summer for my kids.

I feel grateful and blessed... but also a little bit worried.

I worry because I know that every summer won't be like this. Or maybe I let my mind get into fast-forward to a time when the kids will have summer jobs and dates and lives full of adult responsibility. Or, maybe I find it hard to parent about balance when we're having fun all the time.

Maybe I'm just a spoilsport parent. Debbie Downer. Whatever.

That must be why I purposely plan dinner without dessert and have to explain my reasons to my sons. Last night I found myself saying, "Sure we could have dessert... but it's healthier to set aside a couple of nights a week as dessert nights, so it's something special."

My nine-year-old and seven-year-old scoffed. They have monster metabolisms right now and scarf down food left and right to keep their engines running. "When I'm the parent, we're going to have dessert every day," they said.

Maybe so.

Maybe my spoilsport balance-parenting is the reason why now, in the height of summer, I chose to read the kids Laura Ingalls Wilder's The Long Winter -- a story of Laura's family's struggle to survive seven months of blizzard on the plains of South Dakota. I even invoked the book during last night's dessert discussion.

The reality is this:

There's a part of this Mom that wants to enjoy the present so much, and that's why I work to make summer a fun time for my children. But there is also a part that wants to teach them to appreciate their blessings and be grateful for what they have. It's hard to teach that second part when we're eating cupcakes and going to the swimming pool every day.

So, I'm teaching balance by holding back a little. We have chore days and camp instead of going to Disney. We place limits on screen time and play board games or go for bike rides instead. We occasionally go without dessert. (God forbid!)

Does that make me a spoilsport parent? Maybe. But maybe sometime soon, my kids will look back on this summer and not remember the holding-back. I hope they'll remember the good times we've had and be thankful.

That's what spoilsport parenting is all about, right? ... throwing a wrench in the works and expecting the kids to be grateful for it, or at least understand...

Then again, maybe I just need to relax a little and make a pan of brownies today.

I'll flip a coin. Heads - my house smells like chocolate for the afternoon, Tails - we go without.

(Now, where did I put that two-headed coin?)

- Midwest Mom

Battling The Flu: We've Got it Too

I don't know if we're more sensitive this year or if the flu is stronger, but our family is being walloped by germs.

Last week, my first grader was home all 5 days from school. Four of those days, he had a high fever. He had aches and pains. He had a dry cough.

Fortunately, the cough was short-lived. And no headache.

That means it was standard flu, not H1N1.

Honestly, my heart broke for the little guy. He was so sick that his emotions were on edge all week long. He had no energy and napped for at least a third of each day. Even this weekend, when the fever was gone, his appetite had not fully returned and he tired easily. I'm sending him back to school today, hoping that he'll make it through without getting too exhausted.

When he left with his Daddy, he asked me sincerely to just stay home and play with me. I don't think kids realize how tempting it is for a Mom to just say 'yes'. But I told him it was time to go back and reminded him of all the things he loves about school.

(If I ever considered home-schooling, it would be because of this child. Even when he's home sick, I feel spoiled by having him around. He is my buddy.)

My other two, the more driven ones, are home today instead. They have high fevers that started over the weekend. My oldest is weathering the flu rather well. He at least can play and his fever comes and goes. For my youngest -- my four year old -- the fever is constant, and it has sapped all her energy. She's just laying around in her footie pajamas asking to watch her favorite cartoon, The Pink Panther.

She was a steadfast friend to my first grader when he was sick. She sat with him and entertained him, and what does she get by way of thanks? Germs. Poor girl. She has the aches and the cough, but no headache (thank goodness).

To battle the flu, I've done a few things:

1) I've given them space of their own. We designate one couch as "the sickie bed", covering it with sheets and allowing only the sick child to lay there.

2) I'm pushing fluids. I went to the store and got juices that are my kids' favorites. My daughter can't get enough of Ruby Red Grapefruit juice (because it's pink?) My son is a fan of Cranberry-Apple. I alternate juice and water to keep them hydrated.

3)I'm making chicken soup. Whether it's a simple bowl of chicken ramen noodles or Hearty Chicken Soup with vegetables and noodles, soup really seems to help my kids. It's one of the few things they'll reliably eat when they're feeling feverish. I think the warmth and saltiness of the broth is soothing.

4) I encourage rest. I keep my kids completely out of school and activities. I keep the house quiet and make time for naps. I give them reading time and screen time. If the weather is nice, I might make time for 15 minutes out in the sunshine if they feel up to it, but no running or rough play. Instead, we spend time in the garden or on the swings and then go back inside.

5) I keep them warm, but not too warm. My daughter especially loves her fleece pajamas. But I like to dress my sickies in cotton or other breathable fabrics so they don't get too warm. That way, when their fever spikes, it doesn't have a chance to get dangerously high the way it can when they're bundled too warmly.

6) I treat the fever when needed. I use Motrin (ibuprophen) to control my kids' aches and fever. I know I'm not alone in this -- a weekend visit to Wal-mart found them completely sold out of every brand! Fortunately, I found it at Walgreens, my next stop. So, I stocked up. I always let the medication completely wear off before giving a second dose and take my child's unmedicated temperature. It gives me a good way to measure how the sickness is progressing.

7) I keep our doctor informed. I try to keep a healthy dialogue with our physician and his nurse, even if I don't plan on bringing the kids in. They can give me hints on treatment and let me know what danger signs to look for if my child takes a turn for the worse.


Based on the empty Motrin shelf at the Urbana Wal-mart, I know I'm not the only Mom doing battle right now. Honestly, caring for sick little ones is taking its toll (I'm exhausted!) But, so far so good -- we're not in dangerous territory.

I'm just hoping we're on the road to good health soon.

(But if you'll excuse me, this Midwest Mom is off to disinfect my house again. And get today's pot of chicken soup on to cook. A Mom's work is never done...)

- Midwest Mom

Halloween Photos and Fun

What fun Halloween turned out to be.

It started off a little rocky. My first grader started feeling sick on Friday night. That turned out to be our night of horror -- stomach flu. After a few bouts of the heaves in the middle of the night. He was in bed or on the couch for most of the day.

But, by afternoon, he was asking for -- and keeping down -- food. Hubby and I talked about it and decided he could go on limited Trick or Treating. He had to follow some rules we set about keeping his distance from other kids. (The irony here is that, before he decided to be a pirate, he had talked about trick or treating as a germ.)

The fun part was that I, for the first time, got to take him door to door. He went out early -- before the sun went down (... and before Illinois was done beating Michigan. Needless to say, my husband was glued to the TV to watch the Illini's only Big 10 win this season.) I always spend tons of time on my kids' costumes, but am the one who sits on the front porch handing out candy. So, I have settle for play by play from hubby and the kids when they get home with their haul.

Not so this year. I actually got my turn!

And I must say, the costumes turned out great. My caveman was convincing -- it was the mascara unibrow that made the costume. He also gives a convincing "Ugh!"



My pirate -- though peaked -- was swashbuckling with his home-made sword and make-up scars. He was so proud of his costume this year. (I was glad he got a chance to wear it! So was he.)



And my princess was royal, to be sure. I found a great resource, a blog called Hairstyles for Girls - A Story of a Princess and her Hair. It had every conceivable hairstyle I could have wanted for my little one, with great instructions on how to make them work. It took some time, but we made my little girl's hair into princess perfection. With a little pink on her lips and cheeks and some sparkle, too, she was darling.


After I went to just the houses on our block with my first grader, Dad took over. He stayed out nice and late with the healthy ones, even meeting up with some of Primo's friends to trick or treat as a group.

When they arrived home, they were exhausted. And the candy sorting began. For the first time ever, we actually found we had things to pull out. One of my kids had gotten unwrapped Halls cough drops. Another had gotten an unwrapped (possibly used?) tooth-flosser. Still another had gotten some sort of strange plastic something we couldn't quite identify. I asked my husband where they could have come from, and he said they were definitely from his later round of trick or treating. I was glad we checked carefully.

When the night was over, we were happy and exhausted. Everyone hurried off to bed, with an extra hour's sleep in our schedule.

It wasn't until Sunday that I wondered what on Earth we'd do with all that candy.

- Midwest Mom

Signs of Fall

We had our first autumn hike yesterday. It was a relief to get outdoors under blue skies, especially since we've been virtually home-bound for a week. My oldest and youngest have been ill, so we stayed in out of the cold as much as possible to let them recover.

My six-year-old has been healthy as a horse, though. Spending time with him alone has been wonderful. During this first week of vacation, my husband and I took time to appreciate him in a special way. Since he's our middle child, he doesn't often get the chance to really just have Mom and Dad to himself. But two sickie siblings on the couch made it easy to grab some time alone with just him.

So, over the course of the past few days, little by little, he has learned to ride his two-wheeler all by himself!


We are so proud of him, but not more proud than he is of himself!

After a week in bed, his siblings were finally able to get out a bit last night. So, we went to our favorite county park for a late-afternoon hike.

It was still a little early for much orange and red -- except to show us the plants we need to avoid!


But there was plenty of golden light filtering through the trees.


We hiked the river bluff trail, and the views were wonderful.


Fortunately for my daughter, fall asters, goldenrod, and queen Anne's lace were still in supply. The perfect combination for flower-picking.


It was the kind of early fall day I will always want to remember.


- Midwest Mom

Summer Vacation Survival Guide

Like most of the country, we are now on Summer vacation. It's a fun time to be a kid, but it can be a challenging time to be a parent.

Here are some tips to keep the schedule manageable and maximize your summer fun:

Make a Family Calendar: Try writing down weekly activities like dance rehearsal and wrestling practice, but also some of the fun activities you want to do regularly. Do you want to go to the pool a couple of times a week? Put it on the schedule. Write names next to the adults responsible for each activity. That way, Dad or Mom or Uncle Gerald become the go-to person to make the activity happen. Also include contact phone numbers for coaches, camps, or other contact people for each activity. Having all the info in a single place will make things easier when all doesn't go as planned.

Put Down-Time in the Schedule: While you're so busy writing down all the obligations, be sure to set aside time for family day or movie night. On Saturday afternoon, write "Mommy's Nap - Do Not Disturb." Claim your downtime. You deserve it.

Plan an Adventure: We like to have a conversation about adventure plans with our children at the beginning of the summer. We let them make one adventure wish that we work to make come true in the most creative way we can. One year, my 3 year old son's adventure wish was to ride a rocket to the Moon. So, we went to the Christa McAuliffe Planetarium while we were on vacation in New Hampshire. He got to ride a Space Shuttle simulator and touch moon rocks. The day ended with him sporting a planetarium T-shirt that said MOON and carrying a Curious George Rides a Rocket board book. Wish Granted.

Looking for an adventure activity? Try:

• climbing walls
• the zoo
• the beach/tide pools
• museums
• botanical gardens (ours has a great butterfly house!)
• the aquarium
• petting zoos
• farms/orchards
• water parks
• county/state fairs
  

Plan Outdoor Fun: I always laugh when I see my children ignoring 25 brightly colored plastic toys so they can play with rocks and sticks and mud. We try to spend outdoor time every day, just for them to have backyard adventures. But we also use hikes, canoe trips, and camping as a way to get away from the busy everyday and have peaceful time as a family. There is something wonderful about getting away from the phone and computer, the playstation and television, even electric light. We find it renews us.

Keep an Activity Bin: This is especially important for rainy days. Our art supplies, play doh, lacing/sewing games, and board games come out on days when going outside is not an option. I know many parents like to just give their children extra screen time on rainy days, but it's nice to have low-tech options that can help keep their minds active.

Encourage Pretend Play: Never throw away a big appliance box. Let your children make a sailing ship or a puppet theatre with it instead. It can be fun to give the kids space and supplies to create something of their own. If you support them through the planning stages and help with tools, you'll be surprised what they can come up with.

Keep Reading in the Game Plan: When I was growing up, our family used "Reading Hour" as our daily downtime. We went on a library trip every week or two and kept a ready supply of books available. After lunch, instead of naps, we had quiet reading time for 30-60 minutes. It kept our minds active and our imaginations engaged. Sometimes Mom would ask questions about what we were reading. It was always fun to talk to her about exciting stories.

Don't Leave School too far Behind: For my own children, I have added to the Reading Hour concept. I offer math workbooks and writing paper during down time. Surprisingly, they choose those activities about half the time. I also encourage my older children to keep a Summer Journal to write about their feelings and adventures. They even illustrate the stories in their journals. By the end of the summer, it really is stunning to see how many skills they have retained as a result.

Put your Kids to Work: If your children are too young for a summer job, they can still help around the house. We encourage ours to help with household chores like vacuuming, dusting, setting and clearing the table, cooking, and bathroom cleaning. They know that we are a family, and we are all responsible for keeping our home. So, just like we play as a team, we work as a team.

Maintain Friendships: Plan play dates with friends from school or trade babysitting with other moms. It can be fun to meet at the park or the pool and let your child's little herd of friends go wild while you stand on the sidelines to watch. Keeping in touch with friends can help your child not feel so isolated during the summer months, too. So, when summer ends and school begins again, their relationships are still strong.

Relax and Have Fun: It really is the key to a great summer. Do your best to let go and just enjoy being together. So, let go and laugh a lot. It feels great.

Good luck and have a wonderful summer! Today, we're off for a play day with my children's cousins. The weather will be HOT, so water play is a given. There's nothing quite like spending a hot day with cool fun.

p. s. -- When all else fails, bring out the Popsicles.

- Midwest Mom

Conquering Fear

This was a big weekend for us. Each of the kids made huge progress conquering their fears at the swimming pool.

It all started Friday night. We went for our usual evening swim, only to find out that the pool was sponsoring a Flick & Float -- essentially a drive-in movie right at the pool with night swimming until 11 p.m.

I asked the pool director what movie they were showing. In one word, she became my sons' favorite person.

Transformers.

So, Friday night was spent swimming and cuddling in sweatshirts and beach towels to watch a great film.

But... back to the fear. As we were walking from our seats over to get into the shallow end, my three-year-old daughter was looking at her brother instead of watching her step. She walked right off the edge into the water.

I jumped in after her and pulled her out, but not before she had quite a shock. She cried more out of surprise than actual hurt, and as I comforted her, I stressed again that you have to watch where you're walking when you're near water!

When she calmed down, and the pool director was sitting near us making sure she was okay, I told her, "Congratulations! You just jumped into the pool for the first time!" Through the tears, she gave me a high-five.

What a trooper.

She was a little clingy afterward, but once we were back in the shallow end, she was too busy making friends with other girls to worry about clinging too much to me. I was relieved, but thought the jury's still out on whether or not fear of the water will kick in.

Saturday was a busy day with chores and church. Sunday, we were the host family for coffee and donuts for the parish, so I spent equal time serving people and making sure my children didn't gorge themselves on donuts.

As the weather turned hot, I pulled my husband aside. "Do we have time to go to the pool again this afternoon?" I asked. He smiled. Of course.

So, off we went for another evening swim. I held my breath as my daughter approached the water. Her brothers had struggled for years against water fear, but she was our little mermaid. The boys still only swam with a noodle or lazy river ring, even though they had the mechanics of swimming and floating down pat. I worried we would have the same struggle now with our daughter.

Then she smiled at me and jumped right in.

I was thrilled... And I wasn't the only one who noticed how brave she was. Her six year old brother told me he could jump in, too. (Although he never had before.) A minute later, there he went! So did my oldest. The boys and their sister spent the next hour climbing out and jumping in, with no worry about getting their faces wet or getting water up their noses. They just laughed and had fun.

Then came the real shocker.

My oldest came out of the pool to put his lazy river ring by our seats. "I'm going to swim without it." He said matter-of-factly.

He jumped in.

And he swam!

He didn't need any help or support. (Just an attentive audience and plenty of praise, which I was happy to provide.) I was so proud of him. Better yet, he was so proud of himself. He positively glowed with confidence.

He said to me, "Mom, I know why I couldn't swim before, but now I can.
F - E - A - R. I don't have it anymore."

"That's right," I said and returned his grin.

Check one fear off the list. My boy is growing up.

- Midwest Mom

Here Comes the Sun: Hints for Sun Safety

A light wind swept over the corn, and all nature laughed in the sunshine.

~ Anne Bronte

We are an outdoor family. My husband and I took a stroll through the garden in the early morning light this morning, checking on the plants as mother hens fuss over their chicks.

The boys talked eagerly at breakfast of afternoon plans for a bike ride and water play at our local AMBUCS Sprayground.

Once the boys were off to school, my youngest wanted to ride her own bike up and down the sidewalk, an activity usually reserved for the heat of the day, now enjoyed with ten times the excitement because of her large shadow cast in the slanting rays of the rising sun.

Maybe we're a photosynthetic clan. But we do love to be out in the sunshine -- from its rising clear through to sunset.

It's the time of year I have to remind myself about sun safety. That first sunburn of the year can be painful -- best to avoid it altogether with a little prevention.

If you're headed out with your crew, these tips might save you a little hurt later on:

Keep your eye on the clock - The sun is strongest from 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Early morning and later afternoon sun are less damaging to the skin.

Stock up on Sunscreen - Did you know that your sunscreen has an expiration date? It is best to purchase sunscreen in small bottles that can be replaced frequently. We choose sunscreens with Sun Protection Factor [SPF] 15 or above. For fair-skinned children or babies, I have gone as high as 50. (To find out your lotion's sunburn protection, do this calculation: Average time to sunburn with no sunscreen X SPF factor = Average time of protection with sunscreen. So, if you usually burn in 10 minutes and use SPF 15, you should be protected for 150 minutes before burning.)

Reapply, reapply, reapply - The SPF calculation works only in the best of circumstances. Several factors can weaken your sun protection. Water, sweat, and rubbing skin on clothing are a few common ones. It's best to reapply sunscreen every hour, just to be sure it's doing its job, especially if you're going to be outside for hours on end.

Watch those tender places - Pay extra attention to protecting areas of the body prone to sunburn. Shoulders, cheeks and noses need extra protection. So do the tops of the ears (for boys with short hair or girls with ponytails) and the tops of the feet (when feet get sunburned -- ouch!)

Let clothes do the trick - Boys and girls can wear rash guards as a part of their swimsuits to protect their bodies from getting too much sun. Putting a hat on babies or older children can help shield their faces without having to douse them in SPF 700. Large t-shirts, hooded towels, or bathing suit cover-ups can be great ways to cover up when taking a break from the swimming pool.

Go easy on the eyes - Sunglasses are a summertime must. Most drug stores and department stores are starting to sell them right now. Be sure to check the tag -- it will tell you the UVA/UVB protection they will give your and your child's eyes.

Now... if I can just remember these tips myself! One of today's errands is to pack my 'beach bag' with all our supplies, so I'm ready to head out on a moment's notice. When the weather is this beautiful, it pays to be prepared. In it, I'll bring our sun care essentials, snacks, water, hand wipes, and a beach towel or two.

You can never be too ready to head out in the sunshine!

- Midwest Mom

When Mommy Gets Sick: Guidelines for Self-Care

My family has been battling colds & flu (no swine flu, though - oink) for the last two weeks. I have dutifully played Dr. Mom, waking in the night to administer medicine, driving 40 minutes to our pediatrician's office as many times as is necessary, cooking special foods like homemade chicken soup, and keeping track of who is at which stage of illness at any given time.

But bad news came last night in the form of aches and exhaustion. Mommy has finally succumbed to the germs.

Like all moms, I am tempted to just medicate and plug on. But if the recent flu scare has taught us anything, it is that sick people should slow down instead of pushing it.

Why is that so tough for a mom? Or is it just me?

I remember years ago when I was growing up, my Mother got sick only very rarely. But what a time we had getting her to rest and take care of herself! She would continue cooking and cleaning and shuttling kids here and there, even though she felt awful. She had a home daycare, so she put tremendous pressure on herself -- she never wanted to let down the families who relied on her. Because she was a nurse (I'm told they make the worst patients...) she thought she could manage to care for everyone without spreading germs. She was a hand-washing fiend.

But while she was caring for everyone else, she kept forgetting to care for herself.

Several times, we had to force her to the doctor's office for antibiotics. She always claimed she was "on the mend" or "getting better". It was a load of hooey. She was diagnosed with 'walking pneumonia' more than once and ordered to rest. She agreed only reluctantly and because the doctor ordered her like a drill sergeant orders a new recruit.

I remember saying to myself, as I saw her suffering on the couch, that I would never drive myself to be so sick. And I helped my brothers and sisters and father care for her until she was healthy again.

Fast forward to last Fall. I found I wasn't so different from my mother after all. I got a cold that turned to a cough. I insisted repeatedly that it was improving. It wasn't. An x-ray showed that I had pneumonia. Just like Mom. I had a V-8 moment, a what is wrong with me? revelation.

I needed to take better care of myself.

So, now that I've succumbed to the family flu bug, I'm following a few rules that apply to everyone -- even Mommy.

When you're sick, stay in bed. Clear the schedule. Cancel your meetings. Bundle up and get extra rest.

Ask for and accept help. Rely on a friend to pick your children up at school. Order take-out for dinner or heat up leftovers instead of cooking. Ask your husband to put the children to bed or give them baths. Let your mother know you are ill and ask if she can pick up groceries for you when she goes to the store.

Drink, drink, drink. Dehydration is your enemy when you are under the weather. Flushing your system with fluids (one small glass per hour of clear liquid) can help your body to heal. It can also help keep fever in check. My beverage of choice today is chamomile tea with honey -- great on a tender throat.

Talk to your Doctor. Your doctor and you are on the same team. Sometimes it's good to remember that. You cooperate when it comes to caring for your children; do the same when you need to heal yourself. Keep track of your symptoms and communicate with your physician. Don't wait until until your fever reaches 104 degrees or until you're coughing so hard that you lose bladder control. Don't be stubborn about it -- you're not invincible.

When we take care of ourselves, especially when we're sick, we are modeling self-care for our children, too. It is comforting for kids to know that Mom and Dad are taking care of their health. Whether it's a cold or flu or something more serious, giving yourself the time to rest and recover and the medical attention you need is actually a remarkable gift to your children.

When I allow my children to see that I'm feeling sick, they often respond with care and compassion. My son will get me a blanket, unasked. My daughter will bring me a cuddly toy or a glass of water. They play more quietly, giving me time to heal. (Okay, okay... sometimes they need a little reminding on that one.) And in the end, when I am feeling myself again, they will welcome me back to the land of the living.

Sometimes Moms need a reminder that self-care is important. Paying attention to our own bodies and health is an important part of being the best Mom we can be.

So, I'm off to get a little rest. Hopefully, before long, I'll be feeling much, much better.

- Midwest Mom

Our Midwest Garden: First Fruits

Attention, Parents! Herein lies the secret to your children eating their vegetables...

Have them grow their own.

This weekend marked our first garden harvest. What fun! I don't think I've seen Primo more proud than he was while eating lettuce and radishes grown from seeds he planted himself!

Lettuce is so easy to grow -- you can even sow the seeds in a flower box. Let your child water every day at first, then every other day. And when the seeds have sprouted and you need to thin the plants to let the lettuce grow healthy and large, serve your child a big plate of this:



Trust me, if your little one is anything like my oldest, he or she will eat like never before. When Grandma and Papa came by last night for supper, he even went into the garden to pick them one radish each. (And then stood by watching them eat and waiting for words of approval.)

On the way to school this morning, he said to me. "Thanks for teaching me to be a farmer, Mom. I think it's my talent!"

I thought, Maybe it is... maybe it really is.

- Midwest Mom

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Looking for ways to get your child started helping in the garden? Check out Gardening with Kids: An Easy Guide at Midwest Parents. There's no better time than now to get gardening!

Raising an Adventurous Eater

Try it, try it, and you may!
Try it and you may, I say!
~ Sam-I-Am

My husband and I love to cook. It's a pretty frugal alternative to eating out. We have some tried and true recipes, but we also love to learn new ways of cooking. That can mean making Thai or Indian or South American meals, or our most recent favorite, foods from the Middle East.

Friends wonder how on earth we get our children to do it. They complain about their kids' preferences for hot dogs and Kraft macaroni and cheese or wonder whether it is possible for a toddler to survive on carrot sticks and a bowl of Cheerios.

I will admit, our children like those kids favorites just as much as the next child does. But our oldest has an abiding love of Curried Brown Lentils. Our youngest gobbles up anything with Roasted Red Peppers in it. And our 6 year-old son, the most conservative eater in the family, considers fajitas with homemade salsa and guacamole "A 5-Star Meal."

To answer a couple of questions in advance: Yes, we started offering our kids a variety of foods early on. But No, I don't think that kids who eat nothing but grilled cheese and applesauce are too far gone to be brought back on track.

Here are some hints to get your kids to branch out:

Start Small: Introducing one new food at a time is the best practice for babies just starting to eat solid food. It's also the best way to ease a timid eater into unfamiliar taste territory. Offering one taste -- even a lick -- of a new food at every meal can help to wake up your child's palate.

When in Doubt, Choose Fresh: Fresh blueberries or raspberries, baby spinach, or cherry tomatoes are great foods to incorporate into your child's diet. They offer new textures and flavors without requiring a lot of preparation by you. The fresh foods you use to help your child branch out now may become tomorrow's healthy snacktime favorites.

Use Color: Offering a rainbow of foods can be so appealing to a child. Lightly blanched broccoli is so green -- a favorite for my children. Roasted red peppers are brilliant red, equally appealing. Toasted pecans offer a light, nutty sweetness -- and a beautiful brown color. Red Lentils start out orange and cook to a soft, golden yellow. When you create foods for your children that appeal to them visually, they are more likely to give them a taste.

Some Assembly Required: My children are inherently suspicious of foods that are all mixed up. (Something my Mother In Law is reminded of every time she serves them up a lovingly-prepared all-in-one casserole.) When I want them to try new things, I will often cook and serve the ingredients separately and have them assemble the dish on their own plate and on their own terms. They can eat foods separately or together. The more adventurous they become, the more they will find the combination that suits their individual palate. Sometimes one of my children will say to the other, "try this and that together! They taste great!"

Feed them Hungry: I don't think my kids have caught on to the fact that on nights when we're introducing something new, we usually eat a little later. Maybe it happens because cooking something new takes us a little longer. Maybe it's because we know that hungry children will eat anything in their path. Regardless of the reason, it works.

Make Reliable = Neutral: We always offer a reliable dish alongside an adventure food, but we never make it more appealing than the food we hope the children will try. Having a dish of rice on the side when you're trying a new main dish or a brand new vegetable combination really works. Often, my children will try the new foods first, then move on to the rice. If I were to use Kraft Mac & Cheese as my alternate, you'd better believe they'd be asking for seconds of that before they tried anything new.

Use the "Try It" Mantra: We recite those penultimate lines of Green Eggs and Ham when our children start to dig in their heels. "Try it, try it and you may! Try it and you may, I say!" They laugh and relent. One small taste is all we ask. My oldest came up with his own (I think borrowed from Elmo.) "It's National Try a New Food Day!" he will tell his brother. Only occasionally will his brother grumble back something about him saying that every day.

Respect Choices: There is nothing more discouraging than your children rejecting a food you love or have lovingly prepared. But parents who want their children to be willing to try new foods have to listen when a child says they don't like it. I don't force my kids to clean their plates, especially if they have already told me they aren't crazy about the adventure food taking up residence. I tell them, "different people like different things." My husband is crazy about beets; I can't stand them. I love feta cheese; my sons think it tastes like stinky socks. If I want them to trust me at the table, I have to be sensitive to their palate.

Try, Try Again: With that said, there is something to be said for persistence. Two years ago, my boys wouldn't touch spaghetti (one of my favorite meals). There was something about the sauce that just didn't hit their palate right. I experimented with the recipe, adjusting the spices or the sauce-to-noodle ratio. I found a combination that works for all of us. Now they ask for it.

Model Adventure: Finally, adventurous eaters usually don't come from parents who eat nothing but chicken and mashed potatoes. The more willing you are to try new things, the more curious your children will be about what, exactly, is on your plate. Why is Dad crazy for curry? Why does Mom flip over tabouleh? How would this taste with a squeeze of lemon like my brother uses? Do parsnips really taste like cauliflower? Mom, can I have a bite of your grapefruit? Children love to imitate. Take advantage of it.

Appreciating food is such a fun part of living. I hope you will have a little food adventure with your child soon. Don't be nervous. It doesn't have to be a battle. Just relax and start offering alternatives. Have fun with it.

Pretty soon, you may have an adventurous eater on your hands.

- Midwest Mom

Kids & Media: Getting Started

As a 21st century mom, one of my biggest challenges has been teaching my children about media and technology. I know I am not the only Mom who struggles to navigate the sea of information out there. Sometimes it seems like our children are bombarded by media in too many aspects of their lives, from too early an age.

I remember being horrified that friends would sit their infants in front of Baby Einstein for "stimulation".

I thought, "Stimulation?!? Isn't that what playing with the baby is supposed to do?"

Now that my youngest is three and my oldest approaches 8 years old, I have had to make hard choices about everything from what kind of television they can watch, how much TV is healthy, how old is "old enough" to start using the computer, and how to choose software and internet sites for my kids that are both fun and safe.

For us, the "ground rules" are:

1. Parents are the decision-makers in our home, so we have a very low tolerance for child-based marketing that presumes to sell something to our children. We will almost always opt for products or programs that do not have an advertising component.

2. Whatever my children view or play on the computer must have some learning value. It should provide something that 'real life' does not. In my opinion, diversion or entertainment is not enough to justify spending "screen time". So, with few exceptions, we don't engage in 'virtual' activities, like gardening or pet care, that would be better learned in a real setting.

3. I supervise what my children watch and what they play on the computer. I do not expect a 6 year old to have the judgment to know what is best; that is my job.

4. I never use the TV or the computer to be my babysitter. We set limits on the amount of time a child is allowed to be in front of a screen (30 minutes a day, tops.) Screen time is only allowed after other obligations around the house (homework or chores) are met, and each child must make choices about how he or she will spend the allotment.

5. We don't tolerate media that reinforces bad behavior. That means we don't watch violent movies or play violent games. Ditto with foul language (or, honestly, even 'edgy' language.) I consider it my duty to protect my children, so I don't expose them to the rough edges of the world. They'll get enough of that stuff just by living -- we don't need to beam it into our home.

As my guidelines probably telegraph loud and clear, I tend to be fairly conservative in what I allow. As the week goes on, I hope to share more about television, learning software, and the internet, including tips and safe site recommendations.

But, for now, what are your starting principles for your children and media? What are your ground rules?



- Midwest Mom

Tag! You're It! Kids Games to Keep you Fit and More

One of my favorite ways to stay active is to play games with my children. I have three between the ages of 3 and 7, and they are running around constantly. The more they run, the more they seem to want company -- "Mommy, Daddy, come play with me!"

It's music to my ears, really.

For today's Fit Mommy Friday tip, I give you another no-brainer. Try to channel your inner kindergartner and play outdoor games with your children. Here are a few to try.

Tag and Freeze Tag: One of the best ways to get running with your kids is to chase them or be chased. In the game of tag, one player is "it". He chases the other players trying to touch them. As soon as he catches one, the caught person becomes "it." In freeze tag, the tagger touches people to freeze them. Tagged players must stand perfectly still. They can only be unfrozen by another player crawling through their legs or running in a circle around them. The goal is to "freeze" all the players but one. Whoever is the last person left unfrozen becomes "it."

Blast Off: This is a great game to play with a playground ball and lots of room to run. The person with the ball gets ready to throw it while the other players stand in a circle around her. Everybody counts: 5-4-3-2-1, Blast off! She throws the ball as high as she can straight up into the air and calls out a name of one of the players. Everyone but the person whose name was called runs as far away as they can get. The child whose name was called tries to catch the ball. If they do: they automatically win. If not, they get it and call out, "1-2-3 STOP!" Everybody freezes. The person with the ball then has five giant steps toward the closest person. If they can throw the ball and hit that person, they get to be in the middle and the ball gets thrown up in the air again. If they can't, they are out. The last person remaining wins.

Monkey Races: We play this game at the playground. Essentially, it is an obstacle course race on the playground equipment. We call it monkey races because it always starts with a side-by-side race on the monkey bars. What a workout for Mommy! (I don't mind telling you that I usually lose to my 7 year old.) Set up the course, ready, set, go! There's nothing like winning to make any game irresistible.

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And now, for a different sort of Tag -- one that doesn't work up quite as much of a sweat!

My bloggy friend Melissa at Green Girl in Wisconsin tagged me the other day to participate in a meme called "Love Me, Love Me Not". I have to list 5 things I love about myself and 5 things that aren't so lovable about me. (Trust me, my husband had a ball "helping" me figure out what to write! Who knew he loved it when I let my hair dry naturally? Who also knew that he notices how grumpy I am before my a.m. coffee infusion?) Then, I have to "tag" 5 bloggers to play the game next.

Because I like to end on a positive note, I'll start with the 5 things I don't love about myself.

1. I am a worrier. I worry about my children and my parents, about their health and their futures. I worry about the country because I want us to finally have our priorities right. (Lately, I worry about that a lot less.) I worry that I'm not doing enough for everyone else. I worry that I will fail. Worrying is something I try to turn into positive action, to use it rather than succumbing to it. But in my heart, I know I will never be entirely free of it.

2. On a lighter note, I am far too ticklish -- physically ticklish. It is a terrible weakness because it means that my children (or my husband) can completely immobilize me at a moments notice. It has all but dashed my dreams of ever becoming a ninja. Ninjas can't be ticklish. But I totally am -- virtually everywhere.

3. I am risk averse. There is always this voice in my head that is telling me all the ways something could hurt before I do it. I often wish I could just turn that voice off instead of always having to overcome it or act in spite of it. My risk-averse nature comes out in my parenting; I know my children will tease me later in life for the number of times the words "be careful" came out of my mouth.

4. In the mornings especially, I am hopelessly grouchy. And when I say grouchy, I mean terse and crabby. My three-year old daughter calls my hairspray "grouch spray". (That disarms me right away, for sure!) Fortunately, my grouchiness is easily overcome by the caring look on her face when she asks if I'm feeling grumpy today -- and coffee... plenty of coffee.

5. I cannot eat anything I want. Trust me. I so totally wish I could, but I have always had to watch my weight and curb my appetites. Life has had a way of throwing that little foible in my face by making me fall in love with the one man who could eat pancakes and bacon for every breakfast, fries at every lunch, and cheesecake for dessert every day and never gain an ounce. He is metabolic perfection. I, sadly, am not.

Okay. Now, for the fun part! What I truly love about myself.

1. My teeth. I have always had straight teeth -- I get them from my mother. I've never had to wear braces, and was cavity-free until I was about 17 years old. Even then, I only had a pit in one tooth. My older sister had to go through a variety of face-altering devices so that she could look more like a human and less like a shark. Growing up, I tried not to gloat over my perfectly straight teeth. But as she moaned in the night from the pain of the medieval torture devices she was forced to wear by sadists we call "orthodontists", I secretly thanked the Lord Above for giving me a mouthful of dental perfection.

2. I have an abiding, honest-to-goodness L. O. V. E. of sports. I love to play them. I love to watch them. I love to talk about them. A side-benefit of loving sports is that my husband's friends have openly labeled me as being pretty darn close to the Ideal Mate. When we were dating, we went to a party for the Michigan-Ohio State game. After a great play, I noted that the guys on SportsCenter had been talking about the player involved. Hubby's friends looked at each other as though their world had been fundamentally altered. "You watch SportsCenter?!??!" they exclaimed with incredulity. Then, to Hubby, "She's a keeper." If my love of sports put me in the "keeper" category and makes me happy, anyway, it should definitely be on this list.

3. I love my sense of humor and my willingness to poke fun at myself at least as often as I poke fun at other people. Laughing is good therapy -- so is laughing at yourself. I would not change my sense of humor. It's one of the essential parts of me.

4. I love that I have a green thumb. There is something profound and powerful about being able to help the earth bear fruit. It is a gift I am grateful for because it nourishes me as much as I nourish it.

5. Finally, I love having an open heart. There are few people on this planet that I have no use for or that I believe are beyond hope. It is a wonderful feeling not to judge my fellow human beings, but to simply appreciate them and care for them. I have often said to friends and family members who have been hurt that, for me, one of the surest ways to know God is through the act of loving again. I have always tried to let love guide my decision-making. It hasn't steered me wrong yet.

And now, (drumroll please) for the five fantastic bloggers I hope will carry forward this fun game of Tag...

1. Laurie Rodak at The Playground Observer
2. Susana at Firefly Shop - My Thoughts
3. Suzen at Erasing the Bored
4. Julie at Octamom
and
5. Abby at My Sweet Babboo


Have a great weekend, everyone!

- Midwest Mom

Facts About the Peanut Butter Recall

I posted today over at my Twitter Moms blog about the Peanut Butter Recall.

It is important information for Moms and families, and the recall covers products that might surprise you. It's not just jars of peanut butter, but snack cakes, crackers, ice cream, diet products, granola bars, and pet food.

It's especially important for moms because half of those who have gotten ill are children! So far over 500 people have been identified as contracting Salmonella poisoning, 22% of them have been hospitalized and 8 have died.

This is serious business, especially if your family is as addicted to peanut butter as we are.

Please check it out for yourself. The article gives links to the comprehensive list of products to avoid -- everything from Wal-Mart bakery cookies to Keebler brand products to diet bars like NutriSystem bars and the Zone. Products from both Wal-Mart and Meijer are included, among other regional grocery stores.

It is worth the time to keep your family safe and healthy.

- Midwest Mom

Fit Mommy Friday Pint-Size Personal Trainers

Well, it's Fit Mommy Friday again, so I'm handing out another fun tip for Moms who want to be more active and raise a healthy family at the same time.

Today's tip: Get a Pint-Size Personal Trainer

Most moms I know take a look at their kids and wonder, where do they get all that energy? Well, what if we could channel that kid-energy and get a little workout at the same time? Well, you can when you play The Fitness Game.

Here's how you play:

1. All the players stand in a circle. In our case, there were four of us: myself and my three children.



2. Take turns being the Trainer. The trainer leads the rest of the group in any type of exercise he or she chooses for a pre-determined amount of time. Our turns were five minutes long. We played long enough for each of us to have one turn (20 minutes total) or two turns (40 minutes total) depending on how much time we had in the schedule.



3. The trainer is completely in charge, but he has to make sure that the exercise he teaches is fun for everyone. If he wants us to do something we've never done before, he has to teach the skill. (It was so fun seeing my oldest teach my three-year-old to do jumping jacks). The timer doesn't run during teaching -- only when we're exercising.

This week, my Pint-Size Personal Trainers came up with some very inventive stuff when it was their turn to be the leaders. Oddly enough, each session offered a nice balance of cardio and strength training. They even included stretches when they needed a breather toward the end of their turns.

Sit-up peek-a-boo: Players pair up. Each 2 players lay on their backs with their feet touching and their heads in opposite directions. As they do crunches, they say peek-a-boo to their partner and count to three before they lay back down. We did sets of twenty.

Jumping ABCs: My daughter wanted to jump and sing the ABCs, so we each took turns leading the song. Four ABCs worth of jumping is a lot of jumping, let me tell you!

Frog jumps: One of my sons had the idea to do frog jumps. We started in a squatting position with hands on the floor, stood up and jumped as high as we could with our hands in the air. As soon as we landed, back down to the floor went our hands and we were ready to jump again! We did thirty.

Foot fire: My oldest loved the "foot-fire" drills in his soccer camp, where the team ran in place as fast as they possibly could. He chose that drill for all of us when it was his turn to be the trainer. We all ran fast while he counted to fifty -- mighty slow.


It was fun to see what new ideas my Pint-Size Personal Trainers would come up with each time we played The Fitness Game this week. I don't think we did the same exercise twice! Have fun giving it a try with your crew, and here's to more healthy, active families!

- Midwest Mom

Itchy and Scratchy? Solutions for Winter Dry Skin

My family battles dry skin all winter long. So, I thought I'd share some of the ways we keep away the itchies and scratchies.

Cooler, Shorter Baths: When my little ones were infants and toddlers, I loved to give them baths. But all three of them had patches of dry skin and varying degrees of eczema. What worked for us was to bathe them less frequently so that we weren't always washing off their skin's natural oils. We didn't let them turn into Pig Pen baby or anything, but we set a bath schedule of Monday, Wednesday, Saturday. We let them play in the bath once a week instead of every time and kept the water mildly warm -- not hot. Believe it or not, it has helped our children's skin tremendously.

Easy on the Soap: I have come to love lotion-based soaps. Yes, they don't lather the same way, but they do the job just as well. When the kids were babies, we used Aveeno Creamy Baby Wash. It works so well that I give it to my friends who are brand new moms. Another tactic to try is to add a capful of no-tears bath soap to the water as it runs into the tub. If there is a little soap in the water, you won't need to place it directly on your child's skin.

Build good Habits: Now that my boys are in elementary school, they are in charge of their own hand-washing. Their hands can get really dry if they aren't rinsing all the soap off. We've also noticed that they have to dry their hands thoroughly or the crevices between their fingers will get raw and red. So, we reinforce good rinsing and drying habits. We also keep a bottle of lotion at each of our bathroom sinks. (Perhaps you remember that my youngest is a lotion fanatic? Now you know why.) Encouraging your child to get a little lotion every so often -- especially after washing -- can build good self-care habits and help heal their hands.

Don't be Flaky: When dry skin gets itchy and flaky (my daughter's legs get this way from time to time) I leave the soft washcloth out of the bath and use a mesh puff. It's a little scratchy, but it gets the job done (plus, it's girly and purple, so she loves it). I figure, if it's good enough for my knees and elbows, why wouldn't it work for her?

Lovely Lips: When the kids' lips get dry and cracked, we gently brush them with the toothbrush while they're brushing their teeth. It takes the dry part off when their lips are already nice and wet, so there's no cracking. We follow up with lip balm after brushing, and they're good to go.

Put on Moisture that Stays: So many first-time Moms learn about the benefits of Baby Massage after a bath. Not only does it relax your child, it helps keep their skin healthy. Once your children are older, they can learn to put lotion on after their bath all by themselves. We have had great luck with a few products that are gentle enough to soothe and heal their skin.

• Baby Bee Apricot Baby Oil: I used this gently scented oil on all my babies and love it. It is produced by the Burt's Bees company, and although many of their products are so harsh they would dry out a rhino in a rainstorm, their Baby Bee products are quite good.
• Aveeno Calming Comfort Baby Lotion: We use this lavender-scented lotion before bedtime. It is my children's favorite scent -- very light. Aveeno products contain colloidal oatmeal, which helps skin to hold moisture.
• Nivea Extra Enriched Lotion: The big blue bottle of Nivea graces our home in more than one place. We use the formula for Very Rough, Dry Skin because it has small beads that smooth your skin as you rub it in.
• Norwegian Formula Hand Cream: We put a tiny dab of this on dry patches -- especially eczema -- anytime skin gets red. It does the trick, practically overnight.

Use a Humidifier: We use a humidifier in our bedrooms at night to help ease Wintertime dryness. Keeping houseplants throughout the house (and keeping them watered) also helps balance out the moisture level.

Get Moisture Inside-Out: Getting your children to drink enough water -- without anything mixed in -- can sometimes be a challenge. We work little drinks into our daily routine by drinking water at tooth-brushing time (morning and night) and with afternoon snack. If your child is taking in enough water, it can be easier for his or her own body to keep from drying out.

Free your Laundry: Finally, one of the things my pediatrician had me pay attention to early on was the type of laundry soap and fabric softener I used on my family's clothes. I tried several types and paid attention to their effect on my children's itchy skin. Right now, we use a fragrance-free soap (All Free & Clear) and very little softener (1/3 of a dryer sheet for a whole load). It seems to get out the stains (um... I have 2 boys, remember?) without making the rest of us itchy.

Well, that's what works for us. (I know it's not the most exciting post, but sometimes Moms have to be practical... Am I right?)

Hope these tips work for you and your itchy scratchy family.

- Midwest Mom

Spotlight on Healthy Moms

I am happy to announce that Midwest Moms is the spotlight blog on Healthy Moms Blog!





If you get a chance, be sure to head on over. Cascia, who writes Healthy Moms does a great job giving tips on raising healthy kids and helping parents keep ourselves sane and feeling great. She has news for parents, product reviews, and links to parenting blogs from all over.

Thanks, Cascia!

- Midwest Mom

Kids Sports: Stop the Insanity!

Let's face it, any parent who has an athletic child has been witness to some of the most lunatic parenting on the face of the planet. We've all seen it . Sometimes it's the librarian who becomes more argumentative than a crack addict on steroids. It could be the lawyer who paces the sidelines barking orders at their child (or, God forbid, other children). Or, yes, even a full-time mom can find herself suddenly incapable of recognizing her child's strengths or accepting a compliment on their child's behalf, answering with a list of shortcomings instead of a smile and a thank-you. Sports can make grown-ups into crazy people.

I have to admit, I teeter on the edge of lunacy myself. One thing is for sure, I am one of the loudest parents on the sideline. I just can't help myself -- I love watching my kids play. But I sometimes wonder whether other parents are looking at me sideways, wondering, "Who is that lady?!?" I convince myself that volume alone doesn't make me an obnoxious sports parent (does it?)

Just to be sure, I try to follow a few guidelines to stave off a case of the crazies:

Keep It Positive -- If you are an involuntary yeller (like I am), make sure you're yelling out something you can be proud of later. Saying "good job" or "nice try" or "you can do it" is always better than saying something insulting or letting out a groan if things don't go your way. You are your children's best source of encouragement. You are also their best example of good sportsmanship.

Practices are for Coaching and Games are for Fans -- Your first job on the sideline of your child's game is to be their fan. I always send my sons onto the field with a smile and a twinkling eye. "Have fun! I can't wait to watch you play!" I say as they run to meet their team. Giving your child the gift of unqualified support can make a tremendous difference for them. (I'll admit there was a learning curve for me on this one. I used to use the last 5 minutes before a game to review "teaching points" from practice, but I have truly found that only made my child more self-conscious about his play. But when I assure him that he's my favorite player on the team, he glows. As a result, his head and heart are in the game, from start to finish.)

Keep your Expectations in Line -- I remember when my son started soccer at age 4. It was all we could do to get the team kicking the ball in the right direction. Still, there were parents who questioned the coach or worried excessively about whether the team was winning enough. I felt like explaining that this wasn't the World Cup, it was pee-wee soccer! In retrospect, I doubt that would have made much difference. Still, a dose of perspective is never unwarranted. Focus on your child's own skills. They don't have to be Ronaldhino or A-Rod or Kevin Garnett to be your favorite player. Let them be who they are and love them for that.

Be Even-handed with Praise -- We all know that as a parent, our first concern is our own child. But getting to know your child's team-mates and giving them a cheer when they make a great play reinforces to your child what it means to be a team. Athletics is about making friends as much as it is about individual accomplishment. So, get to know the other parents on the sidelines and spread your positive comments around.

Because I am such a loud fan, I usually try to look over my shoulder and make sure I'm not bothering anyone. I also cheer when the opposing team makes a great play. There is nothing wrong with recognizing excellence, regardless of which team shows it. And I find that positivity can be contagious... even among die-hard athletic parents.

So, remember, sports are meant to be an opportunity to learn and have fun! If you focus on the really enjoying the game, your child will too.

That's always a good thing.

- Midwest Mom

Ready for Soccer!

Soccer season is starting again in our area. Primo had his first practice yesterday, and it looks like his team will be a great bunch. He is playing U8 on a team called the Racers, and for the first time in the four years he's been playing, he actually has friends on the team!

Last year was our first in the U8 division, and Primo's coach was quite talented. He treated the group like they knew what they were doing and took the time to teach them about the greats of the game. My son really grew in skills and enthusiasm as a result of that experience.

This year's team is a little younger (of course, my son is a little older, too). So, it will be fun to see them gain confidence and start working together. After last night's practice, we already know they're experts at having fun!

What we like about our soccer league is that it is entirely run by volunteers. We have been so blessed to come to know some really fantastic families through our son's participation. I'm sure this season will be no different. Besides, what better excuse is there to get outside as a family and have fun together?

We'll keep you updated with photos and recaps. We're looking forward to a great season.

Midwest Mom